If Only To Feel
by jadestonedreams
Summary: Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry’s life on a wirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love? Now being Betaed!Nchapter added
1. Illusions

**Title: **If Only To Feel...

**Author**: Jadestonedreams

**Pairing:** HP/DM DM/HP RW/HG NL/VC PP/BZ RL/SB SS/PD..OTHERS

**Rating:** R

**Disclaimer:** Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others; I have merely borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

**Summary:** Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will the secrets that Draco hides, keep Harry from claiming his true love?

**Author's note**: this is my first Harry Potter fic. So please be kind.

**Warning:** Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for

**Special thanks:** to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

Illusions:

Chapter 1

Draco smiled at the sparkling stars above him as he stared blankly up at the night sky. From the top of the Astronomy tower, the stars seemed to sparkle just for him. Everything seemed so perfect. The stars above were twinkling as if putting on a show just for him. Nearly the entire school was empty. Most of the school's students had headed home for the summer vacation. His friends, Blaise and Pansy had offered for him to come and stay with them when he had announced his plans to stay at the school over the summer.

He'd informed them that he wished to take some advanced classes over the summer which weren't normally taught during the regular school year. Dumbledore had begun employing a few replacement teachers and a handful of Hogwarts regular staff to teach classes during the summer. Most consisted of advanced classes given to mostly seventh and sixth years. There were also classes that could be taken if you happened to fail something during your regular school year. There were only a few classes like these offered.

Granger had seemed genuinely interested in some of the advanced classes when Professor McGonagall had informed the brainy girl of them one day after transfigurations class wanting to know if she would like to remain for the summer.

Draco had hardly been able to retain his relief when she actually turned down the head of her house stating that as much as she loved school she missed her family more. Besides she wanted to spend some time with someone called Vivian. Draco wasn't sure who this was, but Granger seemed determined to spend as much time with her as possible over the summer. Insisting that he was going to be fine and that it would be great to have the run of the school without that blasted Potter always getting in his way. His friends had reluctantly left him, promising to owl him as soon as they could.

The school now lay nearly empty, except for a few teachers like Snape and Headmaster Dumbledore. Draco wondered if either of them had any place else really to go to once school was over with or did they simply stay in the school waiting for the next batch of young minds to come to them.

At the moment he figured that it didn't matter; at least not to him.

Leaning back over his side and pulling out a small wooden box from his jacket pocket, Draco smiled. He opened it slowly to reveal a beautiful knife. Draco smiled down as he opened it. The knife had been a gift from his grandmother when he was younger. Its handle made of beautiful mother of pearl. A large Cameo of what Draco could only describe, as a female goddess appeared nestled right in the center on one side a dragon on the other it's eyed made of emeralds. The blade itself contained carvings of symbols which Draco didn't understand. He'd asked her about them when she'd given him the knife. Her only response had been to smile and tell him that when he was old enough he would understand their meanings. He had spent hours in the library after that in Hogwarts and the manor trying to look up the symbols with nothing to show for it. He had been able to find nothing on them. Gliding his fingers along the smooth lines of the blade, Draco traced the details of each symbol. He had loved it the moment the elderly woman had laid it in his hands. It was the last and final time he had ever seen his grandmother, having succumbed to an apparent heart attack not long after.

Besides his mother, his grandmother Lilliannea was the only other female that Draco had ever truly loved. She had been so warm and inviting, often letting him sit with her in her gardens as she planted her flowers. He remembered once asking her why she just didn't plant her flowers the magic way or at least let the house elves plant them.

She simply looked over at him and smiled saying that this way was more magical than anything she could do with her wand. Besides, having the house elves plant them would take away the fun of getting to put your hands in the dirt.

She had taught him how to plant his very own garden of flowers that day. It was one of the few pleasures that he still took treasure in. Because it was something that he shared with her, something that no one could take away. It was also the day he revealed to her about his secret. The curse or blessing that his mother had bestowed upon him. He was never really quite sure which the case was. In all these years he'd never asked his mother why she had performed the spell on him. The spell in itself had been extremely complicated and Draco was sure it had taken Narcissa weeks to prepare the ingredients.

The spell is not what he remembered the most; the true fact was he barely remembered the ceremony at all. He had only been five at the time. Like most childhood memories it had faded with time and countless other ceremonies that tended to flow together in his mind.

What he did remember was the pain as his insides were twisted and repositioned. His insides had felt like they were on fire, as the change occurred. The end results were though, exactly what his mother had expected.

Her son was gone.

What stood before her now was the breathtakingly beautiful daughter she had always craved for. The one her dear husband had been unwilling to give her. When Lucius returned from his trip and discovered them he had flown into an outrage. Narcissa had disappeared for several days after that.

Draco had not been allowed out of the Manor while she was gone. In fact his father had ordered him to stay practically in his room. He had missed his mother so very much during that time. The new body had felt awkward to him. Its parts were all wrong and his entire body ached. He had wanted his mother there, he wanted, no he needed her to explain why she had did this too him. Had he done something wrong?

It had been nearly a week before Narcissa had returned to the Manor. She had smiled at him as she entered his room. Her eyes flashing sadness for a moment as she looked at him.

Wrapping his arms around her tightly he had been so glad upon her return. He had failed to see his father standing just outside his door until he was suddenly torn from her grasp and led downstairs and into the library.

"Your mother has made a grave error in casting this spell on you my son. Fortunately she has since seen the error of her ways and will reverse this at once."

The coldness in his father's voice had not gone unnoticed by the young blonde nor did the flicker of emotion that he couldn't quite name passed over his mother's face as she glanced over at her husband.

Pointing her wand once again at her son, Narcissa once again let the words fall from her lips. Words that once again filled the young blonde with such pain only this time something wasn't quite right.

He never told either of his parents of his discovery a few days later. Discovering his ability to change back into the female form had been quite a shock for him and on instinct he had run to tell his parents. The sound of his father's voice and his mother's sobs had stopped him cold.

He kept his secret from then on; until that day in the garden a few years later.

Gliding his hands over the blade and cringing slightly at the small trail of blood the trickled from his hands. Draco let his mind slip back to what had brought him here.

Draco Malfoy cringed slightly at the memory of his visit home. It should have been a happy one for him. It had been the Christmas vacation during his sixth year and he had been looking forward to his trip home all through the school year. He had missed being home. The few times he had gotten to spend with his father had been wonderful to Draco. The one thing that the young blonde had been sure of was his father's love for him. Nothing anyone could have said could have shattered those thoughts in his mind.

Shivering slightly Draco pushed back the thoughts out of his head. It ached to realize how wrong he had been. His world shattering as the realization that the man he once adored above everything else could have let this happen to him...

_**Malfoy Manor**_

_"You can't be serious!" exclaimed Draco looking across at his father; who stood looking completely at ease in front of him. Even after delivering the shocking news to his son only a moment ago._

_Striding purposefully across the room, Lucius Malfoy stood face to face with his son of 17 years, and stood glaring at him. His voice highly controlled, but making the blonde boy take a step back at the coldness in his father's voice._

_"You can, and you will. You will do this Draco. Now I don't want to hear another word of protest from you." Spat Lucius vehemently. _

_Stepping closer, Lucius Malfoy gently slid his finger under his son's chin forcing his to look at him. "Understand what it is you are being given my child. You are to be our Lord's bride, to stand by his side as he rules."_

_"Yes, father," whispered Draco quietly, his outside appearance betraying none of the cold sadness sweeping over him._

_Stepping back and taking a deep breathe; Lucius Malfoy smiled at his son and began stroking his hair. "You were promised to our lord, my son. Nothing should give you greater pleasure than to know he favors you with such love."_

_Blinking softly, Draco simply stared up at his father. Simply nodding as the numbness in him stared developing._

_"Good, come now I have some friends I want you to meet... _

Curling up quietly in his seat against the cold stone floor and gazing out at the scenery before him, Draco whispered a locking spell on the door and did what he had been unable to do the entire time since he'd learned of his ordeal

He cried.

If only he could have felt the tears as they fell, then at least he would have felt something, but now all he felt was numbness.

The thing that had sickened the blonde the most out of everything that he had endured was the look of pure love on his father's face. It was at that moment that the young Slytherin realized that his father was not the man he had once believed him to be. In that moment his world shattered.

The wounds inflicted upon him that day were mostly tended to; so as no permanent marks were to appear on his smooth skin. Others had been left though as a reminder to him to remember whom he belonged to.

Closing his eyes softly Draco let the cool night breeze caress his face and stream through his hair. He welcomed the change that was overcoming his body. It no longer hurt anymore as it once did. Now the change came with great ease. He didn't need a mirror to tell him what others would now see. His shoulder length blonde hair now reached the center of his slender back hanging lovingly in curls around him framing his face and draping over rounded peaks. His cheeks and lips a rosy red and his eyes once a fierce silver gray now were tinted with flecks of blue specs amongst them.

He'd been told many times how breath taking he was in this form. The few times he'd ventured out on his own as a girl to explore what it was like, first by himself and then later with Blaise and Pansy. They were the only two people besides his mother that knew his secret. The night they had found out revealed more secrets that each of then had been harboring. It was the first time all three had admitted they did not want to become death eaters. They had become practically inseparable after that. They had both tried to tell him that he was just as stunning as a girl as he was a guy.

Hearing it and feeling it were of course two very different things. He'd never felt beautiful after he'd change, in contrast he felt unwanted, a freak. The image in the mirror only seemed to remind him of that fact. It was a constant reminder that he had not been good enough. It seemed like poetic justice to end his life in the form that had been thrust upon him; a form that he'd grown to detest looking at in the mirror after the first few times he'd changed.

Pressing the knife firmly in his hand Draco closed his eyes and sighed. He let his mind wander for a moment on the one thing that had truly kept him alive these past few years. That one person who had filled so many of his dreams both day and night. And he wondered for a moment if they would appear sad at his demise.

Opening his eyes up once more to stare one last time at the stars, Draco was shocked to find himself staring into a set of emerald eyes.

"Oh fuck" whispered Draco.


	2. The Butterfly Effect

**Title**: IF ONLY TO FEEL...

**Author**: Jadestonedreams

**Feedback:** Please online or send to me at 

**Pairing:** HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS.....

**Rating:** R

**Disclaimer:** Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

**Summary:** Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

**Author's note:** this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

**Warning:** Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for!

**Special thanks:** to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

  
**The Butterfly Effect:**

**Chapter 2  
**

Gripping the knife tighter in his hand Draco stared up at the dark haired boy above him. Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the vain of Draco's existence. At least that's what he had tried to convince himself. Bitter denial had finally given way to bitter truth as the realization that not only did he not hate the green eyed Gryffindor; but was in fact head over heels in love, brought little comfort.

Even now, it only seemed to increase the numbness that gathered around him. Because Harry Potter of course would never love him it was simply impossible. 

"Hello?"  
  
Hearing the sound of the other boy's voice seemed to bring the young blonde out of his thoughts as he looked up at the boy across from him. Taking in the other boy's' appearance Draco couldn't help the appreciative feeling that passed over him. The years at Hogwarts had been very good to Harry. His hair had grown to just above shoulder length and framed his face beautifully. The hours of Quidditch had given him a well-defined body and a beautiful tan. All this brought out what Draco had come to love the most about Harry.

His eyes.  
  
Closing his own eyes once more Draco shook his head.  
  
'Of all the times for Potter to show up, why now?' thought Draco.  
  
"I thought I locked the door?" groaned Draco getting up from off the floor and turning away from him, looking back out at the stars. Not wanting to look at the other boy.

"I knocked but I guess you didn't here me."  
  
Glancing back over his shoulder at the other boy, Draco simply shrugged, before turning back to the stars. "Guess you're right. I really just wanted to be alone."  
  
"Oh. Of course," replied Harry biting his lower lip. "I didn't mean to disturb you, it's just...."

"What? What is it Potter?" asked Draco turning around and narrowing his eyes at him.  
  
Tilting his head to the side, Harry opened his mouth to say something before shutting it again.  
  
"Do I know you?" he asked after a moment. "I mean I see that you're from Slytherin, but I don't remember seeing you before."  
  
"Of course you..."  
  
His voice trailed off as he looked down at himself. The change, of course, how could he have forgotten? Harry didn't recognize him.

Sliding the knife back into the pocket of the robe, Draco shook his head.  
  
"No, Potter, I can honestly say, you and I have never really known each other," stated Draco turning away. 'And we probably never will' he thought sadly. "So tell me Potter, what brings you back here? How come you're not back at home with that family of yours? Doing whatever it is you do with those muggles."

Opening his mouth to reply Harry simply shut it again before shrugging his shoulders.

"I only went back for a week or so to gather some things before I left again," answered Harry coming to stand next to him. "I'm spending the rest of the summer with some friends. And what do you mean we've never really know each other?"

'Probably the weasel' thought Draco looking over at Harry. Though he'd never really cared for the red haired boy he did seem to have one enduring quality. Draco knew that either he or the bushy haired Granger would walk through fire and glass for Harry and for that they held a tiny spec of respect in Draco's mind. Other than that he still did not care for them.

"You still haven't really answered my question," stated Harry quietly.

Raising an eyebrow, Draco looked over at him uneasily.

'Why the hell couldn't he just leave me be,' thought Draco looking away from Harry's intense gaze. Was there some cosmic force out there plotting against him? How else could you explain this torture of having to endure this now, now, just when everything had been so perfect? Everything was going to end tonight and all his troubles were going to be over. Now it seems as if the universe had decided to play some cruel joke on him by bringing the dark haired savior of the wizarding world to him.

The sudden urge to grab hold to the dark haired boy and pull him closer was becoming more intense as he stood there. Biting the inside of his lips Draco turned back around and stared up at the twinkling stars.

"I should leave," whispered Harry after a moment as he headed for the door.

"Don't!" exclaimed Draco turning at the sound of the door opening. 'Now why the hell did I stop him' wondered Draco as the words left his mouth. This was the last thing he needed to deal with.

Turning around Harry nodded

"Since it's obvious you know who I am, I think it's only fair that I know your name as well," stated Harry smiling.

Taking a deep breath Draco smiled slightly.

"Lilliannea" he replied softly. "You can call be Lilly"

"I've never heard of that name before."

Shrugging Draco shifted from side to side.

"I was named after my grandmother. She was the only family I had left."

Nodding Harry looked around at the tower.

"I like coming up here. It's a good place to sit and think about things" stated Harry walking back towards Draco. "I guess you feel the same."

"Yes, among other things," muttered Draco quietly.

"So tell me then Potter, since you've obviously disturbed my peace. To what do I owe this intrusion?"

"I hardly think I'm intruding, you did ask me to stay." Harry replied.

Shrugging Draco walked over to the wall away from him and sat down on a nearby chair.

Looking up at the sky Harry seemed to be in deep thought before he answered.

"I'm staying here at the school for a few weeks before I spend the rest of the summer with my friend Ron and his family," stated Harry matter-of-factly.

Leaning back against the chair, Draco crossed his arms across his chest. Something in the tone of the other boy's voice didn't sit well with the Slytherin. Harry should have been happier to be with his friends, if the stories about his home life were true.

"Come now Potter, I would have thought you'd be thrilled and all to be spending the summer with your little weasel friends. Or perhaps you've just grown tired of those red and bushy haired friends of yours."

"They have names you know, Ron and Hermione, and how do you know them?" asked Harry turning to look at him.

Snorting slightly Draco shook his head.

"Come on now Potter, you would have to be deaf, dumb and blind in St. Mungo's for the past ten years, not to know who the golden trio is. The only people you're ever seen with are those Weasley's and that Granger girl.

"Oh..."

Harry felt his cheeks burn slightly. He always hated when he and his friends were referred to like that. Ron thought it was hilarious when he'd first heard and had started posing in hero stances. Hermione had simply rolled her eyes and went back to reading her books. None of them had ever taken the title seriously.

Simply raising an eyebrow at the comment Draco nodded for him to continue.

"I'm going there as soon as they return from visiting Mrs. Weasley's sister. I'm supposed to be celebrating my birthday in a few weeks. I'm going to be coming into my inheritance. I'm a veela."

"You're a what!" exclaimed Draco letting his jaw drop.

"A veela," replied Harry shrugging. "Dumbledore told me right before everyone began leaving for home. According to him my mother was half veela and my grandmother was full.

"Your mother was a Veela and your father was her mate?" asked Draco softly

"Yes." replied Harry smiling. "They only have one, a perfect match for them. Hermione says that it's as if one soul is somehow torn in two pieces and the pieces are put back together. It's supposed to be very romantic. That is if you find the one for you."

"Don't worry Potter; I'm sure you'll find the other half of your soul," whispered Draco quietly. "Of that I have no doubt."

"I guess I'll know soon enough."

"Yeah, I guess you will," replied Draco getting up and looking out at the stars.

Closing his eyes Draco quickly wiped away the lone tear that managed to escape him. He supposed he should be happy for the other boy, knowing that somewhere out there was someone waiting for you; someone to love you no matter what. 'You could have that one day too, someone to love you forever. Someone you could love.'

Shaking his head at the thought Draco frowned. No, the fates wouldn't be that kind to him. There was no way that Harry Potter, the boy who lived, savior of the wizarding world would ever think of being with him. There was just no possible way for that to happen.

There was nothing left for him now. Not even the slight dream that the dark haired Gryffindor might have somehow felt something for him.

Looking up at the sky Draco glanced at the silver moon.

'Just once' he thought, 'just for one night I'd like to feel something. Is that so much to ask?'

Wrapping his arms tightly around his waist, Draco shivered slightly at the cool breeze that came over them.

He jumped slightly at the feel of something warm being draped over his shoulders. Draco quickly turned around only to find himself face to face with the dark haired boy.

"You looked cold," Harry whispered as he pulled the cloak tighter around the blonde and ran his hands up and down the length of Draco's arms absentmindedly.

"Thank you." Draco said quietly as he shifting nervously. He felt his face grow warm at the dark haired Gryffindor's intense gaze. The feel of Harry's hands traveling up and down his arms was sending tiny sparks along his skin and to his fingertips. Closing his eyes to let the feeling wash over him, Draco shifted closer to Harry.

It felt so good to be touched like this. It had been so long since he had been able to feel anyone near him. The warmth of the other boy's breath as he leaned closer to Draco sent shivers down the blonde's spine.

"Harry" was all Draco managed to moan out softly before his mouth was suddenly captured. Feeling the other boy's tongue as it ran smoothly over Draco's bottom lip gently as if asking for permission to enter. Draco felt himself falling under a tidal wave of emotion as the green-eyed boy explored the cavern of his mouth.

Draco had been kissed before; at least that's what he had thought until now. Nothing he had felt before even came close to the intense shockwave that drifted through him. This wasn't being kissed. This was being devoured.

Wrapping his arms around the other boys' waist and pulling him even closer. Draco let his fingers run through the dark strands of Harry's hair and twisting them unconsciously as he returned the kiss.

Feeling himself being lowered, the sudden feeling of the hard cool floor barely registered in Draco's mind

Finally breaking away Draco looked up, his breathing heavy as he gazed into dark eyes above him. Reaching up to trace the swollen outline of his lips, Draco smiled before pulling Harry down to him...


	3. Shattered Illusions

Title: IF ONLY TO FEEL...

Author: Jadestonedreams

Feedback: Please online or send to me 

Pairing: HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS.....

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

Summary: Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

Author's note: this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

Warning: Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for!

Special thanks: to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.**Chapter 3**

**Shattered Illusions**

****

Harry could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he looked down at the blonde haired goddess under him. This was definitely not how he had expected to be spending his first night back at Hogwarts, but he had been unable to simply turn and walk away once he'd laid eyes on the slender blonde as he entered the tower.

He'd simply stood there for a moment when he first opened to door. The outline of her seemed to glow in the pale light of the moon. Her soft tendrils hanging down covering her face from his view as she looked down at her lap.

He probably should have left. The door was locked after all, a problem which was quickly solved by the alohomora spell and a flick of his wand. Why it didn't occur to him that the tower might be occupied was a mystery to him. It was obvious whoever she was; the girl had probably wanted to be alone. This is what he kept telling himself even as he found his footsteps moving closer until he was gazing down at her.

Shifting on his feet, he suddenly found himself unable to breathe. As the clearest pair of Bluish-grey eyes that he had ever seen captured him. The astonished look on the young girl's face as she looked up at him sent a small little shiver down his spine. Blinking several times, he finally managed to find his voice....

He knew he should have left; it was obvious she had wanted to be alone from her tone. The bright flash of her eyes as she glared at him from where she sat looking up at him at halted any movement he had thought of doing.

Instead of moving away he found himself moving closer towards her as she watched him.

Glancing down at her clothes for the first time, Harry frowned a little at the Slytherin robes around her, and for a moment wondered how it was he'd never noticed her before. Surely he would have remembered meeting the girl before, even if it were across the dinner tables in the great hall.

No, he studied the Slytherins in great detail at meal times. One silvery blonde in particular but that was of another matter. No, whoever this was, she was definitely someone who Harry had never seen before, although she did look strangely familiar. It was as if his mind wanted to place her somewhere, but couldn't. Of course this did nothing to explain the reason behind why he was reluctant to simply turn around and walk away, nor why he was currently wrapped around her now kissing her. It hadn't been his intentions, but Merlin help him once his skin touched hers the need to taste, to touch, to feel had taken over.

Vanilla and cherry spice seemed to permeate through his brain as he delved his tongue deeper into her mouth. _How could someone taste so good?_ He thought as explored the inside of the warm cavern before his mouth suddenly ripped away from the sweet taste to travel down the length of neck and lower capturing one rosy nipple between his teeth and tugging gently.

Clenching his hands against the stone floor, Draco moaned as Harry suddenly captured one nipple between his teeth gently tugging on the sensitive peak. The actions sent warm heat throughout his body making him shudder. "H.hharry...ooooh" moaned Draco softly as the dark haired boy gently moved repeating the same motion with the other peak tracing his tongue down the valley in-between.

The trail of heat that seemed to follow down the path that the dark haired Gryffindor was trailing along his body was almost unbearable as every fiber of his being felt as if it were on fire. No one had ever made him feel this way. No one had ever made his body react like this. Maybe it was because he was in female form; for once Draco didn't care as the faint sounds of unintelligible moans above him sent prickling sensations along his skin as the sensation moved lower along his abdomen

Biting his lower lip at the first feel of Harry between his thighs, Draco arched up squirming against the invading tongue at his core. Merlin, he wanted to scream and to shout to heaven for this. Tangling his hands in dark strands Draco became lost in the sensation of being sent over the jagged edge before being pulled back

This was pure sweet torture for the young blonde as he squirmed beneath the invading source of pleasure between his legs. Clutching tightly at the smooth tendrils of Harry's hair, Draco looked up at the darkened sky above. The shimmering stars above sparkled with each pleasuring ripple that Harry's tongue was sending through him.

Panting heavily, Draco sighed as his mouth was suddenly covered once again with the feel of soft lips demanding entrance. The taste was intoxicating as he realized he tasted himself on the other boy. The sensation of Harry's throbbing member resting gently between their bodies only further sending the white-hot heat through the center of him was causing him to squirm underneath the dark haired boy.

Pulling Harry closer, Draco wrapped his legs tightly around the smooth waist above him. His mouth still claimed as the feeling of tearing inside his body sent a small wince through him as the dark haired Gryffindor finally claimed his female form.

The pain, although unexpected, was momentary as the feel of Harry's movements soon sent waves of passion through the young blonde as each thrust seemed to stretch Draco's young body more and more as he moved to meet the dark haired boy's movements.

Feeling the heat building up inside him as he clutched against the sweat glistening sheen of Harry's body, Draco shut his eyes tight as he held onto the other boys' body. The feel of Harry's invading tongue in his mouth as he explored the deep recesses of the blonde, making Draco moan slightly in ecstasy. The taste of himself mixed with that of Harry's was delicious and intoxicating leaving him feeling like he'd downed a whole bottle of Firewhisky. Each thrust from Harry above him went deep into his body over and over again. He tilted the Slytherin a little as if desperately trying to get further into that warm body before he finally spilled his seed into that warm empty cavern deep inside the young blonde.

The echoing screams of fulfillment that surely would have filled the air, was lost in the ripples of their combined mouths as they slowly climbed back down from their orgasms.

Gasping as he finally pulled away Harry looked down at the blonde below him. Her silver eyes glazed as they looked back up at him. Both of their breathing was heavy as they seemingly tried to take in all the air they could possible get.

Reaching up to brush a few strands of hair away from the young blonde's face, Harry was captured by the specs of blue in the silver eyes as they connected with the emeralds of his.

"Lilly" breathed Harry softly.

The soft smile that had played at the edges of the young blondes' mouth as Harry looked down, suddenly faded away as a wave of shock and something else shattered in Draco at the sound of the raven-haired boys' voice.

Suddenly pushing at the dark haired boy above him, Draco sat up and grabbed for his discarded clothes around him. He slipped the large robe of his Slytherin house over his naked form to cover himself up.

Scrambling away from the inviting warmth of the confused Gryffindor, Draco got up quickly nearly stumbling before being suddenly held captive by two strong arms. Closing his eyes and leaning back against Harry's chest, Draco shut his eyes tight in frustration.

Merlin, he was so stupid, for a moment everything had been perfect. He was in Harry's arms like he had spent so many nights dreaming of. Granted yes, they were under very different circumstances. He wasn't a Damn Girl...it was him Draco Malfoy, not this. No, this was not his fantasy.

Twisting around as he pushed away from Harry, Draco looked at the dark haired Gryffindor. The sight was nearly his undoing. The bright crimson sheen of the raven-haired boy's skin as the moonlight shined down upon Harry's nude form giving the raven haired boy an ethereal glow.

"Lilly, I think we...

"This shouldn't have happened," said Draco interrupting him.

Grabbing the rest of his things off the floor, Draco turned, leaving behind a very confused boy who lived.

Slamming closed the door to his room; Draco threw the clothes he carried down on the ground, his breathing heavy from overwhelming feelings. How could he have been so stupid to believe that Potter had actually wanted him, Draco Malfoy? The sound of Harry's voice calling him Lilly had been like a cold bucket of ice water over him, shattering his fantasy around him.

Reaching round in his robes for the knife, Draco let it slide in his hands, before pressing the blade against the smooth skin of his wrists. This was what he had wanted to do before Harry had interrupted him. This was why he'd gone to the tower, to end it all or maybe to feel something. All he felt was numbness as if he really wasn't here anymore. That was until Harry had touched him.

The feel of the Harry's touch had sent awareness through him that he'd been unable to feel before. Now the lack of those emotions was like the air had been sucked out of him leaving him with a dull ache inside.

Shouting in frustration, Draco flung the knife away from him and sent it crashing into the top of the dark wood dresser shattering the beautiful mirror.

Crawling into the bed and wrapping his arms tightly around the soft feather pillow, Draco pushed himself further into the comforting warmth. Silently the tears fell and the darkness soon overtook him. He fell asleep forgetting that he was still in female form.


	4. Morning After Effects

Title: IF ONLY TO FEEL...

Author: Jadestonedreams

Feedback: Please online or send to me at 

Pairing: HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS.....

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

Summary: Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

Author's note: this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

Warning: Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for!

Special thanks: to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

  
**Morning After Effects**

**CHAPTER 4**

Thrashing about in his bed, Harry Potter moaned aloud as the images grew wilder in his mind.  
_  
"I don't want to belong to him, I belong to no one." whispered the voice in the air around him as he stood inside the astronomy tower yet again.  
  
Looking about at the empty air around him Harry called out to the voice.  
  
"Who's there?"_

_A sudden cold chill wrapped itself around him as a thick mist began forming._

_"There's nothing you can do, Potter," replied the saddened voice.  
  
Pushing his way through the mist Harry tried to reach towards the sound of the voice. Hoping he could find whomever it was. The person sounded so sad and the instinct to go where it was becoming overwhelming.  
  
"Tell me where you are...I'll help you!" shouted Harry looking around frantically. .  
  
The faint outline of a person hidden in the mist formed further away from him. The face was hidden through long strands of blonde hair and the mist from Harry's view. The mist becoming thicker as Harry reached out towards the figure...  
  
"No. They belong to me, no one else. You'll never have them Potter," shouted a thunderous voice sending Harry flying backwards into the wall. _

"_Nooooooooooo." shouted Harry as the images started to fade.  
  
_Bolting upright in bed, Harry frantically looked around his room as he began taking deep breaths. The room stood quietly around him. Dumbledore had deemed it fit to give him a private room, considering his circumstances involving his upcoming birthday. The main reason being that veela's are often times harassed by the people around them until they are bonded with their mates.

Throwing the covers off his bed and swinging his legs over the bed, Harry yawned slightly. His unruly hair was sticking out in different directions as he rubbed his eyes reaching for his glasses. He made his way over to the window overlooking the yard outside.

Gazing out at the sparkling stars his mind drifted to earlier in the evening.

The night had seemed like a dream as he'd made his way down the tower after her only moments later, desperately trying to catch her. The night air had seemed oddly quiet as he soon found himself alone outside the tower, the young woman nowhere in sight.  
  
He'd finally come back to his room filled with worry after searching the castle for nearly an hour with no luck. Crawling into bed he fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow, his dreams filled with dark images.

Looking back over at the bed, Harry sighed.

Heading towards the private bathroom that was connected, he resolved to write to his Godfather about the dream and about the girl. Besides he missed his Godfather dearly and this would be a perfect excuse to see if he could go and see him and Remus.

The two of them had moved in together after Pettigrew was finally captured in Harry's fifth year. The rat faced fink had been spotted in a muggle bar of all places getting drunk. It had been pure luck that one of the other patrons there had been Charlie Weasley. He'd been taking a muggle friend out for drinks that night seeing as the guy was about to move the next day. It had only taken a glance for older Weasley son to recognize the man and call in the proper authorities to arrest Pettigrew.

Under Veritaserum Pettigrew had confessed to the killings and setting up Black. All charges were dropped and Sirius was finally compensated for his incarceration. Nothing could make up for the twelve years he'd lost but things were slowly starting to change for the better. His godfather had moved in with Lupin a few months later. 12 Grimmauld Place was used as the orders headquarters and given to Harry for after his graduation. Sirius had wanted to start clean and fresh. The house held to many bad memories for the once imprisoned man to feel comfortable there.

Harry suspected it had more to do with not wanting to be separated from Remus than anything else. Harry wondered if there was more to the relationship than either man wanted to tell him. He'd caught both of them staring at the other when they believed the other wasn't looking and no one was around.

Sirius began working with the order while Remus had started teaching DADA at Hogwarts again. Harry had been thrilled to have his favorite teacher and his Godfather back in his life. Both had opted during the summer school days to stay in the home they'd purchased instead of the school after Remus was given back his teaching position.

It was a good thing that Dumbledore was being a little more lenient to students during the summer time, well to the sixth and seventh years at least. They weren't confined to the castle day and night. Trips into Hogsmeade could be taken as long as it didn't interfere with any classes you were taking. Students not coming back on time or missing a single class because of a trip to Hogsmeade had the privilege taken away until school would start. Suffice it to say everyone always made it back on time.

Smiling to himself, Harry went about preparing for the day.

Down in the Slytherin dungeons, Draco Malfoy tossed about dramatically in his bed. The sweat soaked sheets tangled around his limbs as he bolted upright silently screaming.  
  
Gulping down deep breaths to calm himself, Draco's eyes shifted around the room. The chilling silence did nothing to calm his feelings as he flung back the covers of the bed and sat up quickly. A quick glance over at the dresser brought back the memories of the previous evening. 

Looking at the shattered glass of the mirror, Draco sighed and reached over for his wand on the nightstand, and with a quick wave sent the broken remains of the once beautiful mirror, back into its original condition.  
  
The ending results as he finally faced his reflection in the mirror once again were that of bitterness. The silver blue eyes looked back at him from under soft flowing tendrils as if mocking him somehow.

Moving closer to stare at his reflection, Draco looked at the image before him. The images of his encounter with the boy-who-lived were playing in his mind. Potter had taken him last night. Had pounded into his female form, marked him, claimed ownership, and for a moment he'd been happy. Until it had been shattered, like the glass in the mirror was before.

Turning away Draco shut his eyes tight, letting the change come over him. The slight tingling sensation in his stomach spread through out his body as it transformed, sending him to his knees. Shaking his head he struggled to stand back up. The sudden warm feeling over taking him as he managed to make his way back over to the bed before collapsing again, his breathing shaky.  
  
The transformation had never affected him in such a manner before. Although technically he'd never stayed in the form very long as he found it quite disturbing to find people looking at you in ways you'd rather not think of. Those complications were something he never wished to deal with. No matter how fascinating they may have seemed.  
  
So Draco had made up many rules for himself when it became apparent that he wasn't going to be able to tell his parents of his newfound talent. Lucius would surely send Narcissa away again if it were found out that the spell had malfunctioned

The thought of his mother gone had sparked mixed feelings in him. Granted he'd still had not quite forgiven her for what she'd put him through. The idea of never seeing her again had weighed heavily on him. So the secret had been kept until he'd finally revealed it to his grandmother.  
  
Taking a slow deep breath as he stared up at the ceiling above him Draco waited as the growing heat surrounding him started fading before finally settling down to bearable warmth.  
  
The sudden rumbling from his stomach reminded him that he'd yet to eat breakfast. Draco glanced over at the clock; he still had time to make it to breakfast. Making his way through the Slytherin common room twenty minutes later, Draco only nodded politely at the few Slytherins there, before slipping out the common room, heading for the great hall. 

Harry looked around the Great Hall at breakfast. A few students were scattered around him from the houses at their tables that morning. Dumbledore had informed him that a handful of students were going to be remaining at the school over the summer vacation. Since there was only a handful remaining behind, Dumbledore had opted for a more relaxed atmosphere at the school during mealtimes. Smaller tables were provided for the students to sit at with their friends. The teachers however remained at the teacher's table. Melanie Higgins and Tom Clover from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were deep in conversation about the next years N.E.W.T.S. while a few of the others were simply groaning around them.  
  
'Seems like Hermione has rubbed off,' thought Harry spreading some more jam over his toast. Glancing over at some of the other tables Harry looked around hoping to see a blonde head there. The empty chairs before him caused a frown to flash across his face. The Slytherins had been for the most part more subdued lately. The usual fights between the two houses of Harry and his rival Draco Malfoy had seemed to drop radically lately. The fights had started becoming few and farther in-between than they used to be.

Harry really couldn't say why, but he had missed the fights with the Slytherin. His fights with the blonde had started to become a standing part of his school year and the sudden loss of them had affected him a lot. That was when he'd started watching the Slytherins.  
  
Looking once again along the green and silver decorated table, Harry noted the few familiar faces once again.  
  
The idea to ask Malfoy about the young woman from the previous night forming in his head as the sound of someone entering the hall interrupted his thoughts.

Looking up from his glass of pumpkin juice, Harry was slightly stunned at the sight of Draco Malfoy as he entered to Great Hall. The hair usually pushed back with gel, now hung softly around his face, as if framing it. The pale skin of his cheeks tinted slightly red as if he'd been running.  
  
Chewing slowly on his toast, Harry watched as the young blonde sat down quietly at the Slytherins table, barely acknowledging the few classmates around him and began piling his plate high with food. Harry stared wide-eyed as the mountain of food on Draco's plate completely disappeared a few moments later as the Slytherin eating as if he'd been starving.

Harry's thoughts on the young Slytherins strange behavior that morning was interrupted as a letter was dropped near the raven-haired boy as the mail was delivered to the students. Glancing over them Harry smiled at the letter from his friends before stuffing it into his pocket. Looking up from the table to catch a glimpse of the Slytherin again, Harry frowned at the empty seat,_ 'where the hell had Malfoy gone?'  
  
_"And why the hell am I so suddenly worried about him?" muttered Harry getting up a walking out of the great hall. 

Looking down at the letter in his hands Draco sighed before pushing it back into his robes. Since he'd written and stated that he was going to be staying at school over the summer holidays, Draco had received many letters from Lucius Malfoy. Nothing specific was ever said in them, but the meaning there was clear...the wedding would be taking place and he should be more than proud that he was to become bonded to the Dark Lord.

Closing the door to the common room as he entered, Draco looked around. He missed his friends. He hadn't wanted to think about them before. He didn't want to imagine their faces as they were told of his death. He was sure they would have been the only ones to miss him. Looking around at the empty couches, Draco made a promise to write both of them as soon as possible.

Now though he had to deal with the letter from his father. Lucius had been more than a little upset over Draco's desire to spend the summer at Hogwarts. The announcement that Lord Voldemort would not be pleased only made him want to stay at the school more. Staying at the Manor after learning the truth would have been impossible. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to return there. The once beautiful home he'd adored while growing up now seemed cold and empty despite the people there or perhaps that was just him, Draco couldn't tell anymore.

Clutching the letter in his hand as he climbed into the center of his bed, Draco prepared for the worst. He'd found that hardly anything good ever came from the letters he received from his father.

Ripping open the envelope Draco began reading.

_Draco:_

_It has come to my attention that our so-called boy-who-lived is also staying at Hogwarts over the summer. As to why you failed to inform me of this, we will discuss later. As for now, I trust you are using this time to consider your upcoming nuptials._

Draco's hands shook as the anger started to build up in him. He continued reading the letter completely unaware that the objects in the room had started clattering and spinning around him like a tornado.

"Why can't I have a normal life!" shouted Draco in frustration clenching the letter in his hand tightly before crumbling the paper and tossing it at the wall. The sudden burst of flame as it exploded in mid air caused him to stare wide-eyed at the floating pieces of burnt paper and the crashing objects around him.

"What the hell!?" gasped Draco looking around in shock.

Sitting down on a large concrete bench under a large tree, Narcissa Malfoy looked around at the beautiful garden before her. The beautiful scenery was attended painstakingly by her mother when she had been younger. Each flower was lovingly planted with her mother's own two hands making the place a festival of color everywhere you turned. Smiling as she remembered how she loved taking Draco here to stay with his grandmother whenever she and Draco would come for a visit. The two of them had got along so well, Narcissa often wondered what her mother and son could possible have been talking about all that time in the garden.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent around her a calming feeling coming over her. Looking up at the sky Narcissa frowned at the sudden burst of lightening that flashed across the sky, as the clouds rumbled above her.

"It's begun." She whispered clutching the locket at her chest and looking down at the lily in her hand.


	5. Burying The Hatchet

Title: IF ONLY TO FEEL...

Author: Jadestonedreams

Feedback: Please online or send to me at 

Pairing: HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS.....

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

Summary: Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

Author's note: this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

Warning: Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for!

Special thanks: to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

**Burying The Hatchet**

**Chapter 5**

The echoing silence of the room as everything finally stopped spinning around was slightly unnerving to Draco as he looked at the mess around him. The common room was in a total shambles around him. Taking a deep breath to calm him some more, he walked around all the mess. It was a good thing that most of the house was gone or he'd have a lot of explaining to do. He took out his wand and casting a quick spell to clean up the mess before heading back to his room.

"All right, what the hell was that?" muttered Draco as he slammed the door to his room a moment later.

Running his fingers through his hair and pacing, Draco stopped suddenly kicking the leg of the desk in front of him before sitting down in a chair in frustration. It seemed as if it wasn't one thing it was another.

Leaning back and staring up at the ceiling, Draco let his mind wander for a moment as images of the previous evening flew through his mind. Last night was going to be his last on earth. Then Harry had shown up, turning Draco's plans upside down, leaving him slightly confused.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Draco asked shaking his head and thinking back to the letter he'd received from Lucius. Its contents leaving him cold as he thought about the way his father talked about his joining with the Dark Lord.

"I'm sorry father, but I can't marry him" muttered Draco getting up from his desk and opening the drawer of his nightstand pulling out the small box that sat in it.

The knife was there like it always was. Potter had messed up his plans before, so he would have to wait. Soon the raven-haired boy would be leaving to be with his friends and Draco would be able to finish what he had started. This time there would be no interruptions. He couldn't take the chance of the Golden Boy stopping him again.

"I wish things could be different Harry," whispered Draco as he set the knife back down." This is the only way though. You'll never love me, and I can't seem to love anyone but you."

Sitting back down on the edge of his bed his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of tapping at his door.

"Go away." Shouted Draco looking over at the door. He really wasn't in the mood for company at the moment. The insistent tapping at the door refused to cease though.

Sighing, Draco swung the door open only to be startled as a big brown ball of feathers flew past him and into the room.

Looking over quickly Draco smiled slightly as he recognized Zeta, Blaise's pet owl.

Closing the door Draco went over to his dresser to get some pine nuts.

"Hey girl," smiled Draco taking a handful of treats from out of a small box on his dresser.

"Well I did say I wanted to write them both soon, guess they just got around to it first." He thought.

Quickly untying the letter and giving her a treat Draco sat on his bed once again.

_Hey Drake_

_Hope everything's going well with you. Right now we're visiting some relatives of my Mom's in France. Wish dad could be here, but well you know..._

_We met up with Pansy and her sister. Apparently Mr. and Mrs. Parkinson are letting her spend the summer here with her older sister before returning to school. I've asked her to meet me tonight for dinner._

_I'm going to ask her if she'll be my girlfriend when we return to school. You know how I feel about the two of you. I hope this is okay._

_Blaise._

Smiling Draco took out another paper and began writing.

_Blaise_

_I'm very happy for you; I've known how you've felt about Pansy for quite sometime. I just hope you know what you're getting into. _

_I hope your going this means your going to ask her at dinner and not wait until you get back here. Trust me, if there is even a chance for the two of you don't wait another minute._

_As for me, don't worry I'm doing well._

_Although apparently Potter's going to be spending the next few weeks here before heading off to the Weasley's. Hopefully we'll be able to avoid each other as much as possible until he leaves. Thank Merlin we're not the only ones here for the summer. I don't think I'd be able to handle being here alone with him._

_I look forward to hearing how the dinner goes..._

_Draco._

Taking out another paper, Draco began writing a similar letter to Pansy Leaving out the part about the date. He knew Pansy would accept she was after all crazy about Blaise, even if they had a hard time admitting it to each other.

Watching as she vanished beyond his view, Draco finally turned around glancing quietly at the silent room around him before leaving once again.

"Harry...Harry?"

Shaking his head, Harry looked across the desk at the face of the headmaster.

"Are you alright my boy? You seemed as if you were a million miles away," commented the silver bearded man looking over the rims of his glasses at Harry.

"Oh, what... sorry sir guess my mind just wandered there for moment," stated Harry rubbing his temple softly.

Nodding his head slightly Dumbledore continued to watch the young man in front of him before speaking once again.

"Are you sure you doing well Harry?"

Smiling, Harry shrugged.

"Well as can be expected."

Nodding his head, Albus Dumbledore smiled.

"I see that you and Mr. Malfoy have been getting along better this last year or so. I take it a sort of truce has been called."

Pulling his lower lip into his mouth and biting it Harry shrugged slightly. He wasn't really sure what was going on between him and Draco, or why he missed the silly git.

"No truce really, Draco's just been leaving us alone more."

If he'd noticed the use of the blonde's first name Dumbledore certainly didn't comment on it.

"None the less, it is good to see less rivalry between the houses."

"I suppose," whispered Harry. "Although I would have thought he'd be spending the summer at the manor and not here."

"Mr. Malfoy had his own reasons for wanting to be here Harry. Perhaps the two of you should take this week before you leave to at least get to know each other. I know how different things will be for you once you return to school after summer."

Getting up, Harry smiled at the older man.

"I'll consider it Professor," stated Harry getting up from his chair.

Popping another piece of candy in his mouth, Dumbledore watched as Harry turned to leave.

"Is there something else Harry?" asked Dumbledore as Harry stopped and looked over at him.

Sitting back down again, Harry frowned slightly.

"I was wondering if you could tell me about a student here. A Slytherin named Lilliannea?"

Leaning back in his seat, Dumbledore stroked his beard gently.

"There is no one by that name in the Slytherin House Mr. Potter," a sneering voice came from behind him.

"Severus, so good of you to join us," remarked Dumbledore looking over Harry's shoulder at the figure behind him.

"Headmaster," nodded Professor Snape coming around to stand next to the headmasters' desk.

"What do you mean there's no one by that name sir, you must be mistaken," remarked Harry looking over at the man who had seemed to make his life a living hell at school.

"I can assure you Potter," replied Snape looking over at the young man "That I am well aware of every student that is in my house. There is no one named Lilliannea first or last."

"Perhaps you may have gotten the name mixed up my boy," smiled Dumbledore looking across at Harry.

"Perhaps..." replied Harry quietly. Although he was sure that was the name she'd told him.

"I take it this is a new friend then Harry. I haven't heard you mention anyone before." remarked the older man smiling.

"I met her yesterday at the tower...I was hoping to talk to her again, but I haven't been able to find her," stated Harry.

"So she is one of the students staying here over the summer then, Harry."

"Yes"

"There are only a few Slytherins that are staying here this summer, Headmaster. I can assure you whoever this Lilliannea is she isn't in Slytherin. In the mean time I believe we have other things to discuss."

"Aaahh yes, Harry's inheritance on his birthday in a few weeks," smiled the silver haired man beaming at Harry.

"I trust you've been looking over all the information the school has been able to provide you with on Veelas Mr. Potter," remarked Snape.

"Yes Sir," replied Harry. "Hermione and Ron both helped me. I do understand some of the changes that will occur. It's a lot to get used to."

Nodding, Dumbledore smiled. "I do understand Harry. Soon you'll start to look for your life mate."

"What if I don't find anyone sir?"

"I wouldn't worry about that Harry... even if your mate is not here at Hogwarts I'm sure whomever it is will be worthy of you," replied Dumbledore smiling with a slight twinkle in his eye as he leaned back in his chair.

Unused to compliments Harry simply blushed slightly.

"I appreciate the room you have set up for me. It is very lovely."

"You have Professor Snape to thank for that my boy; he was the one who furnished the room for you."

Surprised, Harry looked over at the Professor.

"Thank you Professor."

Nodding slightly Snape looked pointedly at Harry.

"We can't have you distracting the other students here at school, now can we Potter?"

"I think Harry will be able to handle things just fine Severus."

Standing outside of the Headmaster's door a moment later, Harry smiled at the faith the older man seemed to have in him. Although it was weird to think that somewhere out there was his mate. The person he was to spend the rest of his life with.

Supposing it really didn't matter, Harry headed towards the library.

Draco was sitting at the far end of the library in a secluded area when he felt it, a warm feeling coming over him as he felt someone's eyes on him. The sudden dizziness in his head as the scent of Vanilla and spiced apples overcame his senses, was almost too much for him. Refusing to look up, he continued reading the large book. Perhaps they would go away if he paid them no attention.

The scraping of the chair across from him threw that idea out the window though. Looking up, Draco stopped suddenly at the site of Harry Potter sitting across from him.

Inhaling softly Draco let the scent drift over him.

'Merlin Harry, you smell wonderful' thought Draco pressing his fingers firmly into the wooden top of the table.

"Malfoy, I would have thought you'd be spending the summer at the manor," stated Harry cocking his head to the side studying the boy across from him.

"It's really no concern of yours why I'm staying here Potter," remarked Draco looking back down at his book and wishing the raven-haired boy would just leave him in peace.

"Did you actually want something Potter or are you just here to annoy me yet again?" asked Draco a moment later when Harry didn't move to leave.

Shrugging Harry simply leaned forward in his chair.

"I thought maybe we could talk for awhile. Maybe 'bury the hatchet' so to say."

"In each other's backs" remarked Draco raising an eyebrow.

Frowning Harry narrowed his eyes.

"I'm being serious Malfoy, I just think....

"Alright" remarked Draco interrupting him.

Blinking several times Harry simply stared at Draco.

"What?

"I said alright, we can talk, try and 'bury the hatchet' as you said," stated Draco leaning back in his seat.

Looking over at the blonde before him, Harry couldn't help the smile that came across his face, or the fast paced beating of his heart as that smile was returned lighting up Draco's face.

The sudden cool breeze that washed over Harry as the wonder of how those lips would feel against his own caused the dark haired boy to suddenly jump from the table.

"Potter?"

"I have to go.... I'll see you later Malf...Draco," muttered Harry picking up his things.

Watching as Harry left the library, Draco clenched his hands together. He could put up with Potter for a little while, couldn't he? Harry would be leaving soon and then at least he would have the memories. Maybe his last few days wouldn't be so bad after all.

Standing outside the library Harry leaned back against the door taking in deep breaths to calm himself before continuing walking down the hall. It wasn't possible that he could have those types of feelings for the blonde.

'Of course you've always thought he was attractive' rang the little voice in his head.

Learning that his mate could be either male or female hadn't bothered him as much as others thought it might. He always seemed to have a fondness for both sexes and had even dated both. He wasn't exactly virginal territory either. None of the golden trio was actually. Unlike certain Gryffindors he knew. He, Ron and Hermione chose not to tell the whole world who they happen to be sleeping with.

Snorting Harry shook his head. It wasn't like he was known as the sex god of Hogwarts that title seemed to be reserved for the blonde currently on Harry's mind.

Shaking his head Harry headed back to his room. 'This is just crazy' he thought. 'I'm probably just nervous about finding my mate. Not like it's bound to be Draco Malfoy.'

'What if it is?'

Unbeknownst to him the slight smile that tugged at the corners of his lips stayed with him as he made his way back to the towers.


	6. Friends and Enimies

Title: IF ONLY TO FEEL...

Author: Jadestonedreams

Feedback: Please online or send to me at 

Pairing: HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS.....

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

Summary: Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

Author's note: this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

Warning: Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for!

Special thanks: to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.****

**Friends and Enemies**

**Chapter 6**

Harry had arrived at the home of Remus Lupin just as the older man was about to sit down to eat.

"Care to join me?" asked Remus heading into the kitchen.

"Sure" replied Harry following him and sitting down at the table as Lupin fixed a plate for him.

Swirling a small toothpick between his fingers Harry looked over at Remus as he stood in front of the oven.

"Did you know that Draco Malfoy was going to be spending the summer at Hogwarts?" asked Harry. "Dumbledore seems to think that since we seem to be getting along better lately, that we should call a truce."

"Do you think it's a good idea?" Remus asked looking over his shoulder at Harry.

Shrugging Harry looked up to see Remus placing a plate in front of him as he sat down.

"Draco's not being as big an arse like usual. He's even been pretty decent so far. To be honest I can't remember the last time he's even called 'Mione a Mudblood or gotten into a fight with Ron at least nothing physical. He was pretty fun to hang out with yesterday."

"It's good to see everything is going well for you Harry," remarked Remus sitting down to the table and taking a bite of his buttered bread before handing Harry one..."Though are you sure about spending time with Mr. Malfoy. I can't recall you ever saying a decent word about him."

Popping another piece of meat in his mouth, Harry simply shrugged.

"It's just something I feel I need to do." replied Harry

"Why?"

Stopping in mid sip Harry pondered that for a moment. Why was he trying to befriend the annoying blonde that had made his life a living hell...well not exactly a living hell? That was Voldemort's job after all. No, Draco only made it more interesting than before... and since when do I keep referring to him as Draco?

"I don't really know Remus. It just feels like things have changed between us lately. Malfoy isn't being nearly the annoying git that he once was; even Ron and Hermione have both noticed it."

"Well that is interesting. For your sake Harry I sincerely hope that you are right," sighed Remus leaning back in his chair.

"You told me once that you went to school with his father, Lucius. What was he like?"

Shaking his head sadly Remus tapped his spoon on the edge of the table before placing it down on the table.

"Nothing like you see now, Harry. The Lucius that you know is not the man I knew all those years ago. He and Severus used to be inseparable; they were good friends much like you and Ron."

Shaking his head for a moment Harry smiled slightly. It was extremely hard to picture either men doing anything like he and Ron did.

"From what I hear they still are. Though, Lucius Malfoy and Professor Snape, the two of them...like Ron, and me now that's hard to believe. Professor Snape doesn't seem to enjoy anything at all, except yelling at students and taking points from Gryffindor," laughed Harry.

"How does that muggle saying go... never judge a book by its cover?" Remus laughed. "No they were quite different back then. Things change though, and I guess so do people."

"If they changed for the worse, maybe Malfoy can change for the better?"

The hopefulness in Harry's voice caused Remus to smile.

"Perhaps, but enough about him and his horrid father, tell me more about what's going on with you?" asked Remus

It had seemed so simple before when he'd thought about it earlier. The thought or idea to talk to Remus and Sirius about his encounter with the girl up in the tower had been one of his main focuses of discussion during the visit. Now though it seemed as if the girl was the last thing he wanted to discuss.

"Harry?"

Sighing Harry looked over at the slim man across from him. Well it was now or never.

"I met someone yesterday, last night to be exact...

"A new friend I hope?" smiled Remus.

A slight blush tinged the edge of Harry's cheeks as he looked anywhere but at the man before him.

Gently rubbing the back of his neck Remus shook his head.

"This new friend has a name I suppose?" asked Remus

"Lilliannea...She's supposed to be in Slytherin...but I haven't seen her since." replied Harry quickly.

Remus, who had merely frowned when the Slytherin house was mentioned, sat staring across the table and out the window.

"Remus?"

"You say she was in Slytherin?"

"Well she had on a Slytherin robe, so I just assumed...Snape says there is no one by that name in his house. I thought he might be lying, but why would he do that? Besides I was with the Headmaster when he told me?"

"Unfortunately Severus's actions are hard to interpret. But you are right, if Albus was there, he would not be lying. The only Lilliannea I have ever known of has been dead for years and as far as I know is definitely not a ghost haunting the school. Besides she was a grown woman, a grandmother even."

"Who was she?" asked Harry

"She was the mother of a very good friend of mine in school ...Narcissa ... Lilliannea was Draco's grandmother... I have to say Harry, if there is anything of his grandmother in him, then perhaps there is hope for Mr. Malfoy yet."

"I didn't know you and Narcissa were friends," remarked Harry taking another spoonful of food.

"Oh yes, despite what you may believe Harry, Narcissa was a very lovely girl in school. She was smart, intelligent, beautiful, and had a great heart. It was only after Draco had been born that she became the woman you see now, cold and distant."

"I don't understand"

"Neither do I Harry, although I guess its unimportant now. After all there's nothing that can be done about it anyway."

"I suppose." whispered Harry...

It had started almost immediately after Harry had left the library. The urge to get up and follow the dark haired Gryffindor had been almost staggering to Draco. The strong scent of vanilla was surrounding him, making him lightheaded.

The sudden shaking of the small table where he sat making him jump up and grab the few books he had, before running out of the library.

'Thanks goodness, Potter left before that happened. How the hell would I have explained that to him,' thought Draco walking down the halls of the school. He's missed lunch while staying in the library. Food though had been the last thing on his mind, after Harry had left.

Now though he was famished, for some strange he was hungrier than normal. Smiling as he headed towards the kitchen, to try and get some food out of the house elves. Draco nearly stumbled as he ran right into Professor Snape.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," said Draco quickly.

"So I gathered, Draco," stated Snape dusting off his robe. "And where might you be headed, that you can get so easily distracted from what's going on around you?"

The answering growl of Draco's stomach caused him to smile.

"I missed lunch, so I thought maybe I could see about getting a snack from the kitchen."

"Perhaps you'd like to join me then. I'm just heading back to my chambers for something to eat. I too missed lunch today; besides, I'd like to hear more about this truce between you and Potter."

"Sure, why not." Draco muttered. This day was getting worse and worse.

Stepping inside the chambers of Professor Snape's rooms a few moments later, Draco smiled. The warmth of the room's decorations was in deep contrast to believed image of the man who stayed there. Draco had often wondered if his godfather ever had anyone here besides just the two of them.

"So, Draco, the Headmaster tells me that you and Mr. Potter are trying to call a truce between the two of you." Snape quickly walked around the room to sit down at his chair.

"Yes." Draco replied, sitting down and staring across at the large fireplace across the room from him. "We've both grown tired of the fighting; it just doesn't seem worth it anymore."

Feeling his eyelids start to droop as he watched the flames of the fire leap up and down before him. Draco closed his eyes for a moment. He felt so tired suddenly, as he leaned back against the couch.

"Are you alright Draco?" asked Snape frowning.

"I'm fine, just a little tired, I didn't get much sleep last night." replied Draco quickly.

It would have been great to talk to his godfather about the events of the previous evening, but then Draco knew he'd have to tell him everything. If his godfather knew the truth, he'd never be able to go through with his plans after the Golden Boy would leave.

Worse of all, he'd probably go and tell Lucius everything. The sheer look of anger on his father's face at his only heir's attempt at suicide would pale in comparison if he were to discover the feelings his son carried for his enemy. No, Draco could not and would not tell his secret to anyone.

"I talked with your father earlier today. He was very disappointed you wanted to stay at the school over the summer," stated Professor Snape.

"I explained to him why I wanted to stay here, besides I'm sure he has plenty to keep him occupied. You know father, always busy."

"Draco, I know Lucius was looking forward to spending time with you," replied Snape. "He didn't go into detail about it, but I got the impression that he wanted to discuss something very important with you."

Getting up off the couch Draco began pacing the room.

"I have a pretty good idea of what it is my father wishes to discuss. For once I just wasn't in the mood to talk about my future with everything that's going on..."

Raising an eyebrow Snape watched the young as he stopped abruptly as the house elves appeared with a large tray of food. Suddenly realizing how hungry he actually was, Draco paused only a moment before seeming to stuff his face.

"You shouldn't eat so much so quickly Draco. You'll make yourself sick." Snape was appalled at the Slytherins seemingly total abandonment of manners as he gulped down the last of his bowl of cold soups straight from the bowl.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what's wrong with me. I just felt famished for some reason."

Waving his wand to clear the table Snape once again frowned at his favorite pupil.

"I suggest you go and get some rest Draco. I suppose we can discuss your so called friendship with Mr. Potter when you're more up to it," snorted Snape.

Nodding Draco stood to leave. "I appreciate that, but there really is nothing to discuss."

"I know how much you and Potter have detested each other the past few years. I can't help but wonder what might have brought about this sudden change?" Snape asked.

"What are you saying Severus?" asked Draco

"I'm just saying, be careful," stated Professor Snape after a long pause.

Opening his mouth to say something Draco quickly shut it as another wave of dizziness passed him.

"Draco?"

"I think I'm going to go and lay down, for awhile. I must be more tired than I thought.

"I'll talk with you later. Severus." muttered Draco stumbling out the door

It was nearly late evening by the time Harry parted company with Remus. The time had been very pleasant for him. He wished that his Godfather Sirius could have joined them though.

Unfortunately he'd been detained for a meeting, and couldn't make it. Nonetheless, talking with the professor had been enlightening. It really didn't surprise him that Snape and Lucius were friends in school. Everyone knew that Draco was Professor Snape's favorite student. 'Funny' he mused; usually thinking about Draco filled him with a sense of dread somehow. Now he simply felt calm and peaceful.

For some reason, he couldn't seem to get the blonde out of his mind. Even when he was talking to Remus earlier about the girl from the tower, it somehow got turned back towards his association with Draco. Of course it didn't really help when Remus had calmly asked him if he'd been smart enough to use any form of protection. The yelling that had ensued afterwards would have made Sirius Black proud. Indeed at that moment Harry had been most grateful that his Godfather was not there. If Remus was that scary he shivered at the thought of what Sirius would have done.

After the yelling had finished a bit of awkward silence had filled the house, neither wizard really knew what to say. Remus of course broke the silence by starting to laugh, telling Harry that he never thought he'd be to one scolding him on his sex life. Harry simply smiled and soon began telling the older man about the young girl again.

Remus had assured him that from the sound of it, he'd done nothing wrong. Perhaps when or if the girl wished to talk to him then she would. Until then he suggested that he let things happen like they would. More than likely searching the girl out might cause more trouble than it was worth.

Part of him still wished that he could find her again; although why he wanted to see her again he did not know.

Frowning Harry looked towards the tower. He really should have been thinking about the girl more. He'd asked a few of the students who were staying over from the other houses about her, but so far, no one seemed to know whom he was talking about.

The feeling that it was important for him to find out about this girl kept nagging at the back of his mind.

"Harry"

Stopping suddenly Harry found himself looking into the smiling face of his friend Hagrid.

"Hello Hagrid." Harry beamed.

"Been wondering when I'd see you, Dumbledore told me you were spending sometime here before heading off to be with your friends. You must be happy about not having to go back to those dreadful relatives of yours."

"More than you can imagine Hagrid. Are you coming to my birthday party at Ron's?"

"Of course Harry, wouldn't miss it for the world," beamed the large burly man.

"Good!"

"Why don't you come by tomorrow for tea Harry...? I can show you the new pet I bought last week while I was in Hogsmeade." As Hagrid starting to move past Harry he continued, "She's a real beauty this one."

Licking his lips nervously, Harry smiled; Hagrid was known for his, well, rather unusual pets, many which unfortunately had to be taken by Dumbledore.

Glancing back up at the brightness in the overly large yet beaming face of his truly very first friend, Harry knew he just couldn't turn the man down.

"Sure Hagrid, I'll be there." Harry waved at Hagrid as he left.

Twisting his sheets around him tightly later that evening, Draco breathed in the sweet cool air. To him though, the air seemed hot on his body and was becoming increasingly more so as he lay there. The covers having now been twisted down to his waist, as the thin T-shirt twisted slightly above it exposing a smooth patch of skin. Sleep had evaded him yet again after only a few hours. The images that had awaked him once again left very little doubt in his mind that the night was not going to go well.

Staring up at the high ceiling above him, thoughts were running rampant through his mind ever since he'd left Snape's chambers. Images of Harry invaded his mind over and over again, as did the sudden memory of the taste of the other boy's lips against his own. The feel of Harry's warm rough hands sending heated shivers through Draco's body as they roamed over his form. Those same hands had unknowingly staked a claim that the young Slytherin had been more than willing to give.

"But he didn't claim me!" muttered Draco twisting over in his bed and burying his face in the soft pillow as the sound of Harry's voice calling out Lilliannea's name rang throughout his mind. His body seemed to have other plans as his breathing increased heavily as the need once again took over.

The urge to seek out the dark haired Gryffindor and relieve this growing need within him had become increasingly hard to fight as the evening had progressed. Picking up the small vial that lay next to the water pitcher on his night stand, Draco stared for a moment at the dark liquid.

The Dreamless Sleep as Professor Snape called it. This was exactly what he needed. Sleep and not to be reminded even in the dream world that he'd never be with the Golden Boy.

The liquid seemed sweet as it slid down his throat a moment later. The quick thought that it wasn't that bad was suddenly dashed as the young blonde suddenly found himself running through the doors of the bathroom, the contents of the vile leaving his body.

"Great," groaned Draco running his hands tiredly through his hair a moment later.

Crawling his way back into the bed and pulling the covers up over him, Draco sighed in frustration. He was so tired. If he were lucky maybe he's die right here.

"Lucky" whispered Draco finally dozing off.

Sitting down to breakfast the next morning, Harry scanned the room once again, frowning as his noticed the empty chairs of the Slytherin table. He had wanted to talk once again to Draco, but it seemed as if the annoying blonde was nowhere to be seen. Harry tried to ignore the twinge of worry that crept into his mind.

"Wonder where he is?" muttered Harry biting into a rather large piece of bacon.

Looking up at the sound of a few more students entering the dining room, Harry smiled with relief as he watched Draco head over to his own table. The smile fading into a frown as he noticed the tired look in the slimmer boys' eyes as he seemingly tried to stifle a yawn.

Draco looked as if he hadn't slept at all that night.

Tapping his fingers on the table as he continued to watch the other boy, Harry seemed unaware of his own food. Just as before, Draco seemed to pile his plate high with everything around him. Making the raven-haired boy believe there was no possible place for the slim blonde to store every bit in his body. Just as before Harry was wrong.

The feeling that someone was watching him had started the moment he'd left the common room and headed for breakfast. The tingling feeling on the back of his neck as he walked along the empty halls of the school was doing nothing to ease the tiredness he felt at every step.

'Damn Potter for keeping me up most of the night' thought Draco as the sudden vision of soft unruly dark hair and emerald green eyes flashed before him.

Draco took another bite of his bacon as he looked around at the breakfast patrons. Nothing seemed to help his sleeping the night before, having only slept for a few minutes at a time. It was a good thing that there was very little for him to do while he was here. The few classes he'd opted to take over the summer weren't scheduled for early in the day, so at least he didn't have to worry about them for now. Not that he'd planned on worrying about them at all, if his plans had gone like they were supposed to. Perhaps he'd be able to get some rest before he was to help Professor Snape this afternoon. It was after all one of the requirements for staying here. He had to take a few lessons over the summer. Not that he really needed it mind you, but it was the excuse he'd given his father, so now he had no choice, at least not until Harry was gone.

The little voice in his head was telling him that he could have just told them the truth, but it was pushed severely aside as he felt the eyes of someone watching him yet again.

Looking around at the few students and teachers that were there, Draco was nonplussed to find anything wrong. Professors Snape and Dumbledore seemed too deep in conversation at the teachers' table, and for a moment Draco couldn't help but wonder what the two men actually talked about. Even though he would never admit it, Draco knew the dark haired potions master held great respect for silvery bearded old fool. He didn't always agree with the decisions the headmaster made, but he did respect him.

Letting his gaze flow over the few students that remained behind, Draco noted the two faces of Korin Patterson, a sixth year, Ravenclaw and Seamus Finnigan talking quietly together. Neither one of them really paying that much attention to whatever it was they were eating as Finnigan suddenly turned over his pumpkin juice by accidentally knocking it over with his hands.

Looking away, Draco shook his head at the grumbling student.

His gaze finally landing on the one area he had been avoiding, Draco found himself looking once again at the dark haired beauty that roamed through his dreams.

Turning away as the dark-haired boy lifted his head to look towards him. Draco sighed and pushed his plate away before getting up and exiting the great hall.

"Malfoy, wait up!"

Draco stopped in his tracks as he turned around. His heart pounding as he watched the raven-haired boy jog up to him as he nearly reached the library entrance.

Taking a step forward, Draco quickly stopped himself as he felt a wisp of a smile start to come over his face at the site of Harry.

"What do you want Potter?"

"Harry."

"What?"

"Harry. Since we're burying the hatchet don't you think we should start calling each other by our first names?" Harry asked as he shrugged his shoulder.

"Actually, no Potter, I don't think that would be a good idea." Draco stated as he turned back around and headed for the library again.

"So what does that mean, your willing to stop fighting with me, but you're not willing to call me by my name... What's the point in that?" asked Harry.

Draco opened his mouth to respond, but shut it quickly. He knew he was being irrational, really, why didn't he want to call Potter by his first name. Harry seemed to find it so easy to switch.

"Draco?"

The sound of his own name coming of the tongue of the raven-haired boy sent shivers through the blonde Slytherin. This was why, of course, he realized immediately. His body seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to the green eyed Gryffindor in front of him. Just the sound of Harry's voice calling him by his name sent vibrations through him.

"Do, I really have to have a reason, Potter?" sneered Draco pushing the doors open and heading straight into the library leaving Harry standing outside.

"Stupid git" muttered Harry walking back to the Gryffindor common room.

"Harry?"

Looking over Harry noticed for the first time Neville Longbottom sitting up in the couch, a few large books and papers scattered around him.

Harry smiled as he went over and sat next to the brown-haired boy. Like Harry, Neville had changed over the last few summers. He'd grown more slender and no longer held that plumpness about him. His once short hair now hung lightly just above his shoulder. His smaller frame made him appear looking lighter than he actually was.

Taking a good look at the books Harry shook his head smiling.

"I can't believe your studying potions Neville, its summer!" Harry exclaimed, plopping down on the couch.

"You know what it's like for me in potions class, Harry," replied Neville looking down at the book again. "I'm barely passing the class as is."

"Is that why you're here instead of home" Asked Harry.

"No, my family's doing some work over in Italy for the next few weeks and couldn't take me with them. Sucks I know, but Dumbledore said I could stay here. Besides, as soon as they're done I'll be leaving to join them."

"Great Neville! But why are you studying these books during the summer?"

Shaking his head in exasperation, Neville stared at the raven-haired boy for a moment.

"Isn't it obvious Harry, I need all the help I can get for the potions class. Every time, Professor Snape gets anywhere near me in class disaster happens. I've nearly blown up the entire classroom six times this year"

Sliding his fingers through his dark curly hair and leaning back against the sofa, Neville sighed.

"You could ask Hermione for help studying for potions," suggested Harry. "She's pretty good at it you know."

"Uhmm thanks Harry." Neville replied, getting up from his seat and gathering his books. "I would love to ask Hermione for help, but..."

"What?" asked Harry at the other boy's reluctance to say what he'd been thinking?

"Nothing Harry, really, it's just that. Well, I know she's one of your best friends and all, but when it comes to school, she's well rather.........scary......you know."

Throwing his head back against the couch Harry laughed at the brown-haired boys' response.

"You're not going to tell her I said that are you Harry?" asked Neville quickly.

"Course not" replied Harry through snickers.

"Thanks Harry." replied Neville "I'm going to go and see if the library will let me check out a few more books.

Smiling, he headed back to his room once more.

Tbc...


	7. Changes

Title: IF ONLY TO FEEL...

Author: Jadestonedreams

Feedback: Please online or send to me at 

Pairing: HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS.....

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

Summary: Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

Author's note: this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

Warning: Slash and Mpreg...If you don't like... well then what are you still reading for!

Special thanks: to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

****

**Changes**

**Chapter 7**

****

Leaning back against the thick trunk of the willow tree as he twirled a soft blade of grass between his fingertips, Harry looked out at the calming lake before him. The cool breeze twirling the ends of his raven hair as it tickled the edges of his cheeks.

Harry didn't for the life of him understand why the Draco's refusal to call him by his first name irked him so much; he just knew that it did. It was as if Draco really didn't believe they could become friends. Yes, they had discussed not fighting anymore and had even called a truce of sorts, but for some reason it just didn't feel like it was enough. Something was telling him he couldn't let this go. He couldn't let Draco get away from him again.

Frowning at that thought, Harry looked up at the sky. 'When had Draco gotten away from him before' he wondered. Probably when the blonde had first held out his hand in friendship, but his attitude had gotten in the way of anything ever happening.

'You still could have taken his hand you know. No one said you had to choose between them. Who says you couldn't have been friends with both?'

"That was impossible." muttered Harry

'Was it?'

Letting the warmth of the sun flow over him, Harry suddenly became aware of approaching footsteps and smell of spiced vanilla and cherries as it floated through the air. Looking around he was slightly startled to see Draco walking along the edge of the lake staring out at the waters as if mesmerized by the calmness of its waves and the reflection of the sky above it.

Watching as the cool breeze played with the strands of blonde hair causing it to flow around Draco face before it was gently tucked behind his ear, Harry found himself wondering what it would be like to run his hands through those soft strands, to feel that silk between his fingers. The smooth pale skin slightly tinged with a healthy pink was another thing that didn't go unnoticed by the raven-haired Gryffindor. 'You're wrong Draco and I'm going to prove it to you.' thought Harry as he continued to watch the other boy.

Ignoring the slight tingling sensation in his fingertips, Harry continued to observe the Slytherin before him. Draco seemed unaware of his presence as he stood there, or he was ignoring him.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Harry let the thick rich scent of everything wash over him. He wondered for a moment when things had really changed between him and the Slytherin. Things were changing, whether for good or bad remained to be seen.

Getting ready to call out, Harry was stopped by the sound of something flying above them. Looking up at the sky at the soaring object above, Harry found himself unable to move as he looked from the sky back to the silver eyed blonde not far from him. Looking out at the Slytherin Harry watched in fascination as Draco simply gazed out at the calming waters, before looking up at the sky as if noticing something for the first time.

The soaring creature seemed to circle once more before swooping down and landing directly on Draco's outstretched arm.

The look of shock that floated across both of their faces as the elegant bird landed on Draco's arm and settled there was priceless.

"Fawkes" murmured Harry.

Opening and closing his mouth a few times Draco continued to stare out at the beautiful golden and red bird as it perched upon his arm. The calming warmth that came over him as he stared out at the creature flowed through him serenely as he blinked several times before speaking.

"Uhm, hello." whispered Draco reaching out to gently touch the top of the beautiful creature's head before taking out a package of crackers from his pocket and giving it to the magnificent creature.

"You look awfully familiar." Draco muttered looking for a moment back up at the sky. "Where have I seen you before?"

The answering screech from the bird did little to answer Draco's question, but seemed to satisfy the golden bird as it cocked its head to the side as if studying the blonde for a moment. The overwhelming feeling that he was being examined sent a little shiver down the Draco's back, but somehow it didn't really bother him at all.

"Draco?"

Stiffening slightly at the sound of the voice behind him, Draco turned to look back out at the calming waters. 'What God in heaven have I pissed off, that they keep sending Harry my way.' thought Draco. The only answer he received was the loud screech as he looked over and saw the bird leaving his arm and flying above them for a moment before disappearing above the clouds.

Looking over again he found himself staring into large green emeralds and for a moment wondered if one could truly get lost in another's eyes. If it were true then he would be lost forever in Harry's.

Tearing his eyes away from the other boy quickly and looking out at the waters Draco prayed that raven-haired young man didn't notice the slight hitch in his breath, or the pounding of his heart.

"Potter"

Hiding the tinge of hurt he felt at Draco's use of his surname Harry sighed inwardly. This wasn't going to be easy, 'but then things worth fighting for rarely are.' He thought.

Biting his lower lip and taking a few steps closer, Harry stopped a few inches away from silver-eyed blonde.

"I've never seen him do that before," stated Harry taking his gaze off the quiet blonde and glancing back up at the sky for a moment.

"Who?" asked Draco looking over his shoulder at him.

"Fawkes, the Headmasters Phoenix, I've never seen him go to anyone like that," Harry shifting on his feet and looked back over at Draco.

Opening his mouth to respond, Draco quickly shut it as Harry held his hand up to silence him.

"Listen Malfoy, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about getting mad earlier at the library. I know we talked about no longer fighting anymore. I guess we never discussed being friends, but I'm willing to try if you are."

Taking a few more steps and holding out his hand to the other boy, Harry waited expectantly.

Clenching his hands at his side, he turned to look back out at the lake. Harry was offering him the one thing he'd always wanted from the Savior of the Wizarding World; friendship. No not the savior of the wizarding world, he'd wanted to be friends with Harry, ever since the moment he'd seen him in Madam Malkin's all those years ago.

Draco didn't know whether to laugh or cry as his dream was starting to come true just when the end was approaching. How ironic.

'Not the end, only the beginning' whispered the small voice in his head.

"Draco?" inquired Harry shifting from side to side.

"Are you sure, Harry?" asked Draco turning to look at him.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life." Harry smiled inwardly at Draco's use of his first name.

"I'm willing." Draco smiled as he grasped Harry's hand in his own.

The tingling sensation in their hands increased swiftly sending a sharp bolt of electricity up their arms causing both boys to jump back.

'What the hell was that?" thought Draco and Harry simultaneously.

Looking back down at his arm and shivering slightly Draco turned away from the piercing emerald orbs that seemed to bore right through him.

'What the hell is happening to me' he thought as the unwelcome feeling of losing control seemed to pass over him for a moment. The air around him seemed to suddenly turn thick and sweet. The rich aroma of the emerald eyed Gryffindor filling his senses to overwhelming capacity.

Closing his eyes at the onslaught Draco tried taking a deep breath to calm his ever-growing swirl of emotions. Opening his eyes slowly after a moment Draco nearly gasped at the blast of bright colors around him. It looked as if everything was suddenly glowing from the inside out.

"Malfoy...Draco are you alright?' Harry asked worriedly taking a step closer to the other boy.

Letting his gaze finally fall over to where the raven-haired Gryffindor stood, Draco felt his breath catch in his throat and he was sure his heart had skipped a beat. Harry was, to Draco's eyes, surrounded by color. A bright green shown mostly through out the kaleidoscope surrounding the other boy as Draco stood back and stared at him. Harry seemed almost to be glowing.

Getting worried at the way Draco was staring at him Harry took another step towards the dazed blonde reached out to touch him.

'Beautiful' Draco sighed inwardly his gaze scarcely leaving the other boys face.

The overwhelming feeling of peace that washed over Harry as he took hold of Draco's arm with his hand was so unexpected that Harry could do little but gasp until Draco pulled away.

The rich swirl of beautiful glowing colors now fading from his sight and out of existence before him. Draco looked around at the scenery before him everything seemed to be going back to normal. Looking over at Harry, Draco stopped for a moment Harry still seemed to be glowing slightly.

The urge to reach out and drag Harry over to him and press his lips upon that soft pink one's of the golden boy's was nearly heart stopping. Taking a step back and shaking his head as he felt the colors start to swirl up again Draco groaned inwardly.

"Uhmm, I'll talk with you later Potter." muttered Draco turning to rush past the still quiet Gryffindor. He had to get out of here before something happened.

"Draco, wait!"

Cursing to himself, Draco quickly turned around, looking across at Harry.

"What is it, Potter?" asked Draco.

"A few of us are going into Hogsmeade tomorrow. I was wondering if you wanted to join us."

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass this time," replied Draco turning around to leave then stopping to look back over his shoulder at the dark haired boy.

"Thanks for asking though." He muttered before heading back to the castle leaving a slightly confused Harry behind.

Walking along the grounds toward Hagrid's home, Harry couldn't seem to keep his mind off the silver eyed blonde. Lately it seemed as if his entire mind only wanted to think about a certain annoying Slytherin.

Not that it was the first time, mind you. Harry was not blind. Draco Malfoy wasn't known as the Slytherin Sex God for nothing. Although Harry wondered if some of the stories were more fiction than fact, as no one could ever really prove if they were true or not.

He was so engrossed in his own thoughts he didn't see the rather large furry beast bounding up on him till he was knocked roughly onto the ground.

The ticklish feeling of a rough wet tongue lapping around his face caused him to squirm.

"Ughhh, Fang get off!" shouted Harry trying to sit up.

"Sorry about that 'arry." Hagrid laughed pulling the large animal from off him and helping Harry to stand.

"It's alright Hagrid." Harry laughed dusting off his cloths and patting the large dog.

"Fangs just happy to see you is all, come on I was just fixing to have a snack, got plenty for two."

Following Hagrid, Harry couldn't help but look back towards the castle wondering what Draco was up to at that moment.

The air around Draco seemed to grow ever more thickly as he made his way back to the security of his room. Once again he was grateful for the use of his own room. Barely looking around at the few students he passed, Draco finally managed to make it back to his room before collapsing on the floor.

'What's happening to me' he thought looking up at the ceiling.

The answering silence of the room was all that he heard around him.

Rolling over and pushing himself up off the floor, Draco made his way into the connecting bathroom to throw some water onto his face.

"Get a grip, Draco, it's probably nothing," muttered the blonde boy letting the cool water run over his features.

Staring back at his reflection in the mirror, Draco brushed his fingers through the wet strands of his hair. He really did like it better without all the gel in it. Finally feeling better after a few moments Draco turned to head back into his bedroom.

"I've got to get out of here." Draco stated picking up his wand. The low rumble from his stomach causing him to remember the missed lunch he's skipped.

"Wonder if Dobby can fix me some of that smoked chicken" murmured Draco heading out of his room.

Walking back into Gryffindor common room Harry plopped down onto the couch.

"Hey Harry, where you been?" Seamus asked from his seat near the window.

"Meeting Hagrid's latest pet." Harry replied looking over at the other boy.

Raising an eyebrow at the raven-haired boy Seamus looked over at Harry expectantly.

"Not to worry, this one's seems to be harmless." Laughed Harry flipped open a Wizard's weekly and glancing inside.

"Good, I don't think poor Neville ever got over the Spideria incident from third year."

Shivering at the thought Harry shook his head. That was one pet of Hagrid's that Harry was glad the headmaster insisted had to go.

"Hey where is Neville anyway?" Harry asked looking around the room.

"Probably in the library again," said the Irish boy getting up from his seat. "He's really on about not messing up so much in Snape's class anymore."

Nodding Harry smiled.

"I saw you talking to Malfoy, yesterday." Seamus remarked, taking a seat next to Harry.

"Draco and I have agreed on a truce, I figured since he hasn't been as annoying as usual lately it might be a good idea."

"That's good."

"I invited him to go with us tomorrow."

"Are you sure that was a good idea Harry? I don't think the others are going to be happy about Malfoy being there."

Frowning Harry shook his head. "Doesn't matter, he said he turned me down."

"Probably for the best mate."

"Come on let's go see if we can get a snack out of the kitchen. I adore Hagrid but he has a lot to learn when it comes to what's edible."

Laughing they made their way out of the common room and towards the kitchen.

"Dobby is so happy Master Draco is here." The little house elf smiled hopping up and down.

"Thank you Dobby." Draco replied smiling as he followed Dobby to a small room just outside the kitchen and sat down at a small table. Despite many beliefs Draco and the little elf had got along just fine, Dobby was after all Draco's favorite house elf when he had been at the manor.

"How do you like working at Hogwarts Dobby? Are you happy here?" Draco asked.

"Oh yes, Dobby very happy. Dobby not afraid anymore. No hear Master Lucius yelling anymore. Is that why Master Draco is still here? He no want to hear Master Lucius yelling."

"Is that why you're staying here Draco?"

Turning around in his seat, Draco looked over and frowned as he saw Harry and Seamus Finnigan coming into the room.

"Harry Potter, Dobby is so very happy to see you again!" squealed the little elf hopping up and down as he approached the two boys.

"Thanks Dobby, can we get something to eat? I missed lunch." Harry asked sitting down across from Draco.

"Of course, what would Harry Potter and his friends like?" Dobby asked, popping out a moment later leaving the three boys alone.

"I seem to keep running into you Potter." Draco stated looking across at the two boys.

"What can I say, I skipped lunch earlier." Harry replied quickly.

"Yeah, me too," Draco replied popping a strawberry in his mouth. "For some reason I just seem to be really hungry lately."

"We noticed." Seamus replied smiling across the table from Draco, his eyes traveling over the blonde across from him.

Blinking several times, Draco looked over at the other boy for the first time. The boys sandy blonde hair hung slightly over his face as deep blue eyes stared back at Draco's silver.

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Draco shrugged. Which was not a very good response he knew, but Draco wasn't used to having to explain his actions to others.

The sound of popping from behind them caused the three to look over as Dobby reappeared with a tray and three fresh glasses of pumpkin juice.

The conversation though tense at first quickly turned to more enjoyable things such as Quidditch and friends and the latest gossip around the school.

"I hear Harry asked you to join us tomorrow." Seamus stated his eyes never leaving Draco

"Yes, but I don't think it would be a good idea." Draco replied, "Besides I have a few things I need to take care of tomorrow anyway."

Narrowing his eyes Harry watched Draco as he spoke, something in the tone told Harry the other boy wasn't exactly being honest with them.

Most others wouldn't have noticed the slight changes in the Slytherin. But Harry Potter couldn't help but recognize these little insignificant details; he had after all studied the blonde for years.

"Well if you change your mind you can still join us." Seamus stated quickly. "I'm sure Dean and Neville wouldn't mind."

Looking over at the two Gryffindor's with a raised eyebrow, Draco simply snorted.

No matter how appealing the idea was. Spending the day with Harry's friends was the last thing Draco ever thought he would want to do. The urge to give in and say yes was starting to become increasingly more difficult to contain.

'What could it hurt?' Draco thought.

Opening his mouth to speak, Draco was interrupted by the sound of popping from a few feet away.

Looking over Draco frowned at the now quiet and subdued house elf.

"Dobby?"

"Headmaster has sent me to tell you that Master Lucius has come to see you." Dobby stated looking over at Draco before popping out again.

The flash of dread and fear that passed over the Slytherins face did not go unnoticed by the two Gryffindor's before it was pushed away and the usual unemotional mask was placed in front of them.

Pushing his tray away Draco got up to leave.

"I'll see you later." Draco stated walking out the door a moment later.

"What the hell was that about?" Seamus asked looking over at Harry.

"I don't know, but I intend to find out," muttered Harry staring at the door where Draco has just passed through.

Harry had no doubt in his mind he would.


	8. Dreams of Reality

**Title**: IF ONLY TO FEEL…

**Author**: Jadestonedreams 

**Feedback:** Please online or send to me at 

**Pairing:** HP/DM NL/VC HG/RW PP/BZ LM/NM RL/SB PD/SS…..

**Rating:** R

**Disclaimer:** Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others, I have mearly borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

**Summary:** Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will secrets that Draco is hiding. Keep harry from claiming his true love?

**Author's note:** this is my first harry potter fic. So please be kind

**Warning:** Slash and Mpreg…If you don't like… well then what are you still reading for 

**Special thanks:** to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

**DREAMS OF REALITY**

Chapter 8

Walking to the Headmaster's office, Draco couldn't help the feeling of dread that had started to flow over him at the announcement of his father's arrival. What could the older Malfoy possible want? Thinking back to the letter he received only recently, Draco tried to remember if Lucius had mentioned anything about coming to see him. No, he would have remembered that.

Random visits from Lucius were few and far between. Draco couldn't rightfully think of the last time his father had come just for a visit on a whim to see him at school. Ignoring the uneasy feeling in his stomach Draco continued on his way.

Standing outside the statue for a moment Draco composed himself before speaking the password and entering.

"Come in Mr. Malfoy," smiled Dumbledore as Draco stood in the doorway peering across the room at his father as he stood across from the headmaster.

"Thank you, Headmaster." replied Draco as he stepped into the room and closed the door.

"Lemon drop?" asked Dumbledore smiling at the two blondes before him.

"No thank you." replied Draco quickly.

"Well then." smiled Dumbledore getting up from his desk motioning for the two men to follow him as he led them to another door and stepping inside. "I've arranged for some tea to be served in the other room. If there is anything you need please don't hesitate to let me know."

Draco nodded politely as he followed his father into the room behind Dumbledore.

"Now if you will excuse me, I must get to some work." remarked the headmaster looking over at Draco and smiling lightly.

Nodding Draco watched as the headmaster closed the door behind him as he left, leaving Draco alone with his father.

Looking over at his son as the old Headmaster left, Lucius Malfoy couldn't help the swell of pride that always overtook him at the sight of his only son. Images of other children laughing and playing in the grand Malfoy Manor were quickly pushed away along with the feeling of loss and sadness that came with it.

Turning away from the sight of his only son and heir, Lucius walked over to the large stone fireplace and stared into the burning flames that magically flicked cool air around them. It was a dream that had long since died after Draco's birth. A home filled with children and their laughter. Memories of his own childhood started to surface as he continued to let the thoughts run through his mind.

"Father?"

Hearing the sound of Draco's voice, Lucius shook his head clear of the unwanted thoughts. 'No point on thinking about what will never be.' he thought turning back to Draco.

Looking across the room at his son Lucius Malfoy smiled.

"I trust you are enjoying your summer here, Draco?" asked Lucius sitting down in a large chair near the fireplace.

Coming into the room further and sitting down in a rose colored sofa Draco nodded.

"Yes, sir." replied Draco.

"Our guest was greatly disappointed that you wished to remain here at school for the summer. The desire that you return home was rather demanding. It does not sit well with your betrothed that you'd wish to be apart from them

Looking over at his father Draco didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The look on Lucius face as he spoke of his only son's supposed betrothed was that of pure happiness. To Lucius Malfoy the idea of his son being bonded to who he considered to be the most powerful wizard alive was a dream come true to the Malfoy line.

To Draco, it was a nightmare.

Listening to his father, Draco found his mind wandering to other things. Dark black hair and emerald eyes mainly.

"Draco, I would greatly appreciate it if you would listen to me when I'm talking to you!" Lucius growled looking over at his son.

"Sorry father." whispered Draco leaning back in his chair as Lucius continued on.

"I trust you are taking this time to ready yourself for your upcoming nuptials." stated Lucius.

Suppressing a shiver, Draco simply stared back across at his father before getting up to go and look out the window at the field below.

"What if I was to tell you, I don't want to marry …What if I said that the thought of being touched by that…that creature made my insides twist into knots? That the idea of being bonded to …Would you still….?"

The hand that painfully grabbed his arm twisting him around to stare into angry steel grey eyes, causing a painful gasp to escape his lips.

"Listen to me boy." Growled Lucius looking down hard at his son, the tone of his voice making Draco grow colder as he looked up into his father's eyes.

"I will not hear anymore of this, nonsense. Do you understand me?"

Wincing slightly as Lucius's hold on his arm tightened, Draco nodded numbly.

"What about love father...doesn't that count for anything?"

Letting go of Draco's arm and taking a step back, Lucius look back over to the fireplace.

"You're a Malfoy, a pureblood wizard from one of the wealthiest families of the wizarding world. It's power, not love that makes you what you are. This marriage is the best thing for you, Draconis."

"Even if it's something I don't want?"

"You're young Draco; I doubt you really even know what it is you want in life. Your mother and I know what is best for you."

Looking over at his father, Draco nodded as he felt his insides go numb again. It was stupid he thought. There was that little part of him that had hoped even for a moment that his father would understand. That he would wrap his arms around him and tell Draco that everything would be alright. Looking into his father's eyes, Draco knew that was never going to happen. The man he loved was no longer there, and for a moment, he wondered if he ever was.

Clenching his fist tightly Draco shook his head.

"How can this be best for me?"

"Because it is!" snapped Lucius impatiently.

"Now I must be going." stated Lucius picking up his cane from the desk.

Looking over at his son, Lucius nodded before walking out the door and leaving Draco standing there feeling numb.

Watching as the door closed behind his father, Draco stood there looking at the spot where his father had been.

"Mr. Malfoy."

Looking up, Draco found himself looking into twinkling blue eyes, staring back at him over moon shaped spectacles.

"I trust everything is well with you and your father, Mr. Malfoy?"

Nodding Draco turned away from the Headmaster a moment to clear his head before looking back round again.

"Everything's fine sir." replied Draco walking over to the door to leave.

"Good then." smiled Dumbledore watching as the blonde walked out the door.

'Fucking Bastard' thought Draco walking down the hall quietly, not really looking where he was going. The sudden feel of someone crashing into him as he turned the corner brought him out of his thought quickly though.

"Damn why don't you watch where you're going." growled Draco sitting up.

"Sorry." muttered Neville sitting up and frowning at the scattered papers and books around him.

Reaching over to pick up one of the discarded items Draco read the cover.

_'Potions: A Potion Masters guide to your favorite brews_.'

"It's a bit early for studying don't you think Longbottom, even Granger must take a break eventually." smiled Draco, handing the worn out book back to the smaller boy.

The tension in the smaller boy seemed to seep away at the sound of the blonde's voice and vanished completely as he reached out for the book, his fingers brushing slightly against Draco's.

For some unknown reason Neville found himself smiling and laughing as he looked over at the blonde.

"I'm sure she does, but I need all the help I can get."

Reaching out Draco found himself helping the smaller boy up and picking up a few scattered papers.

"Good luck." stated Draco moving to walk past Neville and continue on his way back to his room.

"Thanks." replied Neville looking over at him.

Nodding the blonde Slytherin had made it a few feet away when he heard the sound of footsteps walking quickly behind him.

"Malfoy, wait!" called Neville running to catch up with the other boy.

Turning around Draco raised an eyebrow at the other boy.

"What?"

Shifting nervously from side to side, Neville ran his fingers through his hair

"Uhmm, well that is... I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me? You know with my studying for potions."

Looking over at the other boy, Draco shook his head.

"Longbottom, I'm not sure that's a good idea….?

The disappointment the flashed across the brown-haired boy's face didn't go unnoticed by the blonde. 'It must have taken a lot of courage for Longbottom to actually come and ask me for help.' Draco thought. '

"Oh well, I just thought…never mind, just forget I asked." muttered Neville turning to walk away.

"Longbottom wait, I'll help you, but just for a little while. Meet me by the dungeon in an hour."

"The dungeons?" asked Neville nervously.

"Yes, I think it would be better if we worked in my room. We won't be disturbed there." replied Draco. "See you in an hour."

Walking back towards the library, Neville shook his head and wondered for a moment about what in the name of Merlin had possessed him to ask Draco Malfoy for help and why in the world did he say yes.

Malfoy Manor stood quiet and cold despite the warmth in the air. Lord Voldemort sat quietly looking out the window at the large expanse of garden below. It seemed like he had been waiting for so long and now it soon would be here. He would be with his Dragon, and soon that blasted pest Potter would be gone.

Looking over at the older replica of his chosen mate, Voldemort smiled slightly. Lucius Malfoy was handsome indeed, but his son held something in him that his father did not. Although he wasn't sure of what that was, the Dark Lord knew that it was something he needed to possess. He'd seen it in the child at the manor when he'd first laid eyes on him. Watching the boy grow had only confirmed it and the underlined lust he felt at the sight of the blonde made him smile in anticipation. Soon he would have everything he desired.

"Lucius, tell me how is our little dragon?" asked Voldemort stepping away from the window and settling in his seat.

"He is doing well, my lord, a bit nervous about the upcoming ceremony of course." replied Lucius. "I am certain that he will be fine though."

Smiling Voldemort leaned further back into his chair.

"That is good Lucius; now leave me. I wish to be alone.

Bowing slightly, Lucius turned to walk out the door leaving the dark lord alone with his thoughts.

Reaching over to pick up a small-framed photograph from a nearby table, Voldemort slowly ran a slender finger over the edge of the moving picture. Watching as the wind blew softly through the long blonde tresses of the boy in the picture, his silver eyes shining brightly out at you as he waved brightly to the photographer. The smile covering his face caused his eyes to light up even more. The thought of those same eyes lighting up with lust and need under his ministrations sent shivers down the Dark Lord's spine.

The lustful smile that crawled into place on the Dark Lord's face grew increasingly more as the tightness in the lower part of his robes became more apparent.

'Soon my little dragon, soon we will be together." whispered Voldemort sliding his hands into the folds of his robe.

"Very soon."

"I'll never get this!" cried Neville slamming the book closed on his lap and sulking.

Looking over at the other boy, Draco merely snorted. It had come to his attention in the last two hours of talking with the brown haired boy that he was indeed more talented in the art of potions than even he knew.

The problem seemed that the other simply refused to believe that he was actually good at it. Therefore second guessing everything he did and eventually making huge mistakes.

Working here alone in the privacy of the Slytherins room, Neville Longbottom showed a side that even Professor Snape would have been proud of.

Closing the book in front of him gently, Draco slid off his bed and sat across from the other boy. "Longbottom, you just need to learn to relax."

Shaking his head, Neville snorted.

"Easy for you to say, Professor Snape likes you...me, well nothing I do is right." sighed Neville. "I get so nervous in class; I can't help but mess up."

"Are you nervous now?" asked Draco leaning back against the side of his bed.

Looking up Neville brushed a lock of curling brown hair behind his ear and shook his head. He should be nervous, shouldn't he? He was alone here in Draco Malfoy's room in the Slytherin territory. He, Neville Longbottom should have been terrified.

He wasn't though.

"No." replied Neville shaking his head and smiling.

"Good, that's the key." stated Draco. "The only time you mess up is when you're in class with Snape. Other than that you seem to do very well in all your other classes I have with you."

Taking the book away from the other boy and tossing it up onto the bed Draco smiled.

"Now I think we need to work on getting you to relax when you're near Professor Snape. One of the tricks I learned was to try and picture what frightens or makes you nervous in a ridiculous situation.

"Like what?"

"I don't know." replied Draco shrugging. "Try picturing Professor Snape teaching class in his underwear."

"Ewww gross!" snorted Neville falling back onto the floor laughing. "Snape in his skivvies…"

Trying to hide the smirk that crossed his face at the image he conjured up, Draco soon found himself holding back his laughter before he couldn't help letting it go. Pretty soon the large room was filled with the laughter of two boys who never would have thought they would become friends.

"Harry, what are you still doing up?" asked Neville closing the portrait door behind him as he entered the Gryffindor common room later.

"Nothing, I was just playing chess with Seamus for awhile. Where have you been? We went by the library earlier but you weren't there."

Crossing over the room to sit down next to Harry, Neville simply smiled.

"Just with a friend, he's helping me study for potions this week." Neville yawned, leaning back into the couch. They had both decided to keep their study sessions just between the two of them.

"That's great." replied Harry half-heartedly before yawning.

Smiling Neville simply stood up and stretched languidly his shirt lifting slightly to reveal smooth flat stomach.

Harry smiled at this. Neville had filled out quite nicely over the last few years that he'd known him. The baby fat that had once been evident in their first years were now gone, replaced by well-defined muscles.

After finding out about his Veela inheritance he couldn't help but wonder who his supposed mate might turn out to be. Were they even at Hogwarts? These thoughts of course led him to speculate on other students around them. It had been a mild but not unexpected shock when both Hermione and Ginny had proclaimed Neville to be one of the best looking guys at the school. Although everyone agreed that he probably didn't realize it.

Harry had no doubts though that Neville wasn't going to be ending the upcoming year alone.

"I'm beat, Harry. I think I'm gonna head up to bed. Are you and the others still planning on going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Neville asked bringing Harry out of his thoughts.

Nodding Harry smiled.

"Good, I'll see you then."

"Night Neville" called Harry as the dark haired boy headed up the stairs, leaving Harry behind.

Taking out a small folded piece of paper from his pocket, Harry held it tightly in his hand for a moment. The edges were torn and softened with time and the sweet smell of parfum drifted up from the soft worn fragile papers held so lovingly in his hand.

He had read it over and over again wanting to memorize every line and curve of writing to memory when the headmaster had first given it to him. A simple letter for most, but for him it had become a cherished momento.

It wasn't everyday you're handed a letter written for you by your mother before you were even born. The letter was old and worn; whether from his own handling or those of his mother Harry was unsure but no longer cared. Each page held loving thoughts from his mother. He could just imagine her sitting at a desk writing her wishes for him down on the hand woven paper as she drew circles across her ever growing belly.

The papers were crinkled and stained as if she'd cried over them as she wrote, reading her words over again just to make sure they perfect.

_**'My Dearest Harry,**_

_**I hope as you are reading this letter that it finds you in good health and happiness. It has been a tradition in my family for generations to write letters to our children before they are born. I received a letter from your grandmother on the eve of my inheritance as well. I'm sure my sister received her own letter, but she has never shared it with me.**_

_**Sitting here writing this I can't help but think of the man you must be now. I imagine you will have your father's good looks and hopefully his playfulness. I hope to be able to give you this letter myself one day. **_

_**I'm sure learning of your Veela Inheritance must have come as quite a shock to you. Your father and I only want what is best for you and will love anyone chosen to be your mate. I know whomever it turns out to be will love you with all their heart.**_

_**As you may well know already, your father and I were not exactly the best of friends in school. I loathe saying it now but well he was a bit much to handle back then. I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him or his friends. Not that I don't love your father now, but if anyone had told me in our first years that I'd be married to the wanker. I'd have put them into a body bind and dragged their asses to St. Mungo's.**_

_**Funny, but now I can't even comprehend a life without you or your father. Your grandmother told me that's what love is like…whether you fall fast or slow, it doesn't matter. When your other half comes along you will be drawn to them, sometimes in hate, sometimes in love. Don't be afraid of love Harry, it is the most precious gift that you can give or receive……**_

Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, Harry let his gaze wander over the rest of the papers. He'd been so upset when he'd first learned of everything, another secret kept from him since he'd returned to the magical world, his mother's words that softened him though. She had been proud of her heritage and had been greatly astonished to find that his father had been in love with her for years. He'd made a complete jackass of himself trying to deny it.

In the end it didn't matter, the two of them were meant to be together. Nothing would keep them apart.

Folding the worn paper and placing it back into his pocket, Harry headed back to the comfort of his room. His mind wandered back to earlier in the day with Seamus and Draco. Neither one of them had seen the Slytherin since he'd left the kitchen to meet his father. Harry had looked all over for Draco wanting to make sure that he was okay. Finally giving up after awhile, Harry returned to the common room to play a few rounds of chess with Dean and Seamus before the other two left for bed.

Harry didn't know why he couldn't get the other boy out of his mind. His thoughts kept wandering back to the smooth pale skin of his one time enemy and how he looked that day at the lake. The way Fawkes had glided up to him and the look on the other boy's face as the golden bird had stared at him. The awkwardness as the two of them had talked for the first time as friends.

Closing his eyes as his head hit the pillow; Harry argued to himself that it was simply everything he was going through. All the information he had learned about being a veela since Dumbledore had finally decided to inform him of it months ago. Anybody who learned they where going to be mated to someone for the rest of their lives, eventually would start to look at others in different ways. That's all it was, nothing more. Letting a small smile creep over his features, Harry drifted off wondering for a moment where the smell of roses was coming from.

Draco groaned as he pushed off the covers of his bed that night and slipped inside. His body instantly relaxed against the warm smooth sheets caressing his skin as he lay on the rather overly large bed. All in all it had not been a bad day. Well except for the rather unpleasant visit from his father earlier, but that was to be expected. Amazingly enough spending the past few hours with Neville Longbottom hadn't been nearly as excruciatingly painful as Draco had first envisioned it to be. Both boys promised to meet again the next night.

This friendship or whatever he wanted to call it could not of course develop very much. Longbottom was decent enough and deserved better in life than what he got. Draco flipped over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling his eyes catching hold of the magically enhanced images of stars up above him before smiling. It was one of many charms his grandmother had taught to him before she died. Having the scenery above his bed had delighted him as a child whenever he visited her in the large manor, as it did now.

He missed her so very much.

Frowning slightly Draco looked away from the beautiful scene above him and wondered for a moment if anyone would truly miss him if he were gone. Closing his eyes softly before drifting off, never noticing as the stars above suddenly twinkled brightly before blinking out leaving the small Slytherin in the dark.

_"Hello!" called Draco walking down the stone path in the large garden. _

_'Where the bloody hell am I?' he thought taking in his surroundings. The garden, if that's what it could be called, was more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen. The moon shined brightly over smooth stone benches as large white roses clung desperately to sides of wooden trellises surrounding the area leaving a thick rich aroma in their wake. He closed his eyes as a warm breeze brushed softly against his pale skin twirling his platinum blonde hair as the edges tickled his features. _

_The warm rich aroma wrapped around him as he opened his eyes once more. That odd feeling of déjà vu crept over him as he made his way through the lush area around him. Coming to a thick stone banister overlooking a large lake he stopped. The iridescent features of the moon reflected in the calming waters of the lake below as his gaze took in the scene. _

_Leaning against the stone ledge Draco smiled brightly. _

_"So beautiful." he muttered. _

_"I agree." came a voice from behind him. Started, Draco spun around coming face to face with large emerald eyes covered slightly by strands of dark ebony hair._

_"Harry." gasped Draco looking over at the other boy feeling his heart beat faster in his chest. Draco spun back around looking out at the calming waters. _

_"I didn't think I'd ever see you again, after the other night." stated Harry coming to stand next to Draco and peering out at the moonlit waters. _

_Listening to Harry speak, Draco felt a cold sense of dread spread over him as he pushed away from the stone and stepped back from the raven-haired boy._

_"Lily?" called Harry taking a closer step as Draco stumbled back further. His legs stopping as he backed up against a large stone fountain._

_Draco's heartbeat seemed to plummet at Harry's words. _

_"What did you call me?" rasped Draco not taking his eyes off the other boy. _

_"Lily, that's your name isn't it?"_

_"No!" he shouted looking down at himself. Nothing had changed; he was still himself. Why was Harry calling him Lily? Letting his gaze fall over the still waters of the fountain, Draco jumped at the sight before him as the reflection of Lily, his female persona, came into view._

_Feeling two strong arms wrap around his waist, Draco twisted till he came face to face with dark concerned eyes. 'It's not right' he thought pushing against Harry's chest as he stumbled backwards away. This beautiful dream or vision or whatever it was, was becoming a nightmare. Shaking his head as he took deep breaths, Draco felt like the walls were closing in on him. Looking over at Harry, Draco suddenly went numb, He wanted to wake up from this nightmare of a dream and he wanted to wake up now!_

_Shaking his head as he sat down on the cold stone bench, Draco shook his head, his heart beating faster at each approaching footstep he heard._

_"Go away, please."_

_Looking down at the young woman on the bench Harry sighed. The first sight of the blonde in the garden had sent shivers of delight through him and a feeling of disappointment that he had not been able to place. It was almost as if he had hoped the figure to be someone else. The feeling had soon vanished as she had spoke out at the waters and moon and he found himself speaking as well._

_His thoughts ran rampant through his mind as he looked over at the young girl. He hadn't laid eyes on her since that night. No one had a clue as to who she was. It crossed his mind for a moment to wonder why he'd never asked Draco about her. Draco, now there was another problem, the annoying little blonde kept popping into his mind and wouldn't leave. Like now for instance._

'_Why the hell am I even thinking about Draco' thought Harry sitting down._

_Reaching out to cup the young girl's face, turning it to him Harry smiled. Brushing away a long blonde strand of hair behind her ears, the thought of how Draco's hair would feel between his fingertips popping into his mind before fading away. Blue eyes looking over at him suddenly flashed into silver before fading back; laughing eyes of pure silver, eyes that held so much in their depths. _

_Growling in frustration, Harry stepped back, making his way over to the banister to clutch at the edges. _

_'No, I'm not supposed to be thinking of him, not now!' screamed Harry in his head closing his eyes in frustration. _

_"Harry?"_

_Snapping his eyes open, Harry spun around gasping at the sight before him. The soft moonlight shined brightly over Draco's silvery blonde hair bathing him in an iridescent glow. Draco's silver eyes seemed to spark blue flecks as they peered back at Harry. The little control he had over his emotions snapped at that moment as he reached out hauling the smaller boy to him, searing their mouths together, eliciting a moan from the deep inside Draco, which sent shivers down Harry's back. The other boy tasted to good, and so sweet. Exploring the deep cavern of Draco's mouth Harry reveled in the feeling as he drank down the Slytherins gasps and moans._

_Harry couldn't seem to get enough as he pressed further into Draco, running his tongue along the swollen lower lip of the other boy before gently pulling it into is mouth, eliciting another round of moans from the flushed body in his arms. 'Oh God' thought Harry, 'he tastes so good.' Twisting his hands through the thick rich locks, and tugging the ends, Harry depend the kiss further, before finally breaking away gasping much needed air. Leaning back and hissing slightly as he rubbed his growing member against the other boy's leg. Harry felt his head spinning as he clutched tightly to Draco._

_Draco bit his lips in ecstasy; he could feel himself growing harder as Harry pressed further into him. The sudden flash of his reflection from earlier was like a flood of ice water down his back as he felt his insides grow cold. This was all a lie, a horrible nightmare, Harry wasn't kissing him, not the real him. The pounding of his heart in his chest drowned out Harry's protest as Draco pushed against him stumbling backwards against the stepping-stones. _

_"I'm sorry, I can't do this." Stammered Draco turning away from Harry, practically running down the path unsure of where he was headed. The constant ringing in his ears was only surpassed by the tears that cascaded down his cheeks, blurring his vision as he stumbled along the path. The once sweet smell of roses in the air quickly become overwhelming to him, making his insides churns nauseously. Pressing his hands against his stomach, Draco ran further away from the warmth of the other boy, stumbling blindly along the way._

_The once moonlit sky becoming cloudy as the roar of thunder overtook the horizon. He wanted to wake up now. He wanted this nightmare over. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear someone calling for him, as the loosening feeling of the earth from under his feet gave way. The sudden painful scream that ripped from his throat as he felt his ankle twist in agony was drowned out by the blackness that overtook him as he fell._

Bolting upright in bed, Draco slammed back against the thick wooden headboard gasping for air. The once pitch-black room now seemed to be bathed in an oddly warm glow as the enchanted stars above him bounced frantically around the room. Clutching at his sheets, Draco stared out at the image of his reflection in his antique mirror before stumbling off the bed and racing to the bathroom. His skin felt hot as he slammed the door behind him barely making it to the toilet in time before he let loose of all that he had eaten before.

'What's the matter with me?" groaned Draco leaning against the side of the bathtub a moment later. He could still feel the warmth of Harry's arms wrapped around him. Rocking back and forth as he wrapped his arms around his knees, Draco shivered slightly. He would find no sleep that night.

Wrapping the cool sheet around him, Harry stared out the window of his room, as the images from his dream ran rampant through his mind. He could still feel and taste the other boy on his lips, a mixture of strawberries and spice. 'It was just a dream!' he shouted to himself.

Shivering slightly at the cool night air, Harry wrapped the thin sheet around him tighter. That's all it was, just a dream. Lilly was there and then she was gone. The heat that he had felt as he turned around and seen Draco had meant nothing. The coldness that had gone down his spine at the sight of the other boy falling in pain meant nothing.

"Just a dream." he whispered. "It doesn't mean anything."

TBC….

**Author's note: **I want to thank everyone that wrote to me and asked about this story. No I have not abandoned it, I would never do that to any of my stories. I'm now getting this fic beta read Thanks Michelle!! …I have more chapters written and sent to my beta reader and will post them soon.


	9. Conversations & Expectations

**Title: **If Only To Feel…

**Author**: Jadestonedreams

**Pairing** HP/DM DM/HP RW/HG NL/VC PP/BZ RL/SB SS/PD..OTHERS

**Rating** R

**Disclaimer:** Honestly, if I owned them, would I really be here at this hour writing fan fiction. Sadly, I don't own them. They belong to others; I have merely borrowed them for my own personal pleasure.

**Summary:** Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will the secrets that Draco hides, keep Harry from claiming his true love?

**Author's note:** this is my first Harry Potter fic. So please be kind.

**Warning** Slash and Mpreg…If you don't like… well then what are you still reading for

**Special thanks**: to Michelle for taking the time and beta reading this for me. I really appreciate all the work you put into helping me make this a better story.

**Chapter 9 **

**Conversations and Expectations**

Narcissa Malfoy walked along the streets of London peering into window shops. She was dressed in a sky blue silk skirt set and matching light sweater jacket over a cream colored shirt. Her hair pulled back into a long ponytail which hung nicely down the center of her back. Clear crystal like flowers hung from her ears; a matching set around her neck and wrist. These were being the only pieces of jewelry she wore. Well except for the slender gold chain hidden behind the crystal one; a thin crescent moon hanging from it, sliding against her hand as she walked. The elegant witch was the epitome of the normal everyday female. At least as normal as Narcissa Malfoy could be.

She truly did love her husband but she did not see where the hatred for muggles that Lucius had harbored came from. He would hate to admit it, but going out like this among the others was something the two of them used to do all the time while they attended Hogwarts, among the other things.

Thinking back to that time always brought a smile to her face. Lucius had been so different back then, before he'd gotten involved with that _thing. _

Shivering slightly at the thought of the Dark Lord, Narcissa let the grimace that crossed over her face pass without a second thought. She did not share her thoughts of her husband and his so called master with anyone anymore. Her one true confidant and friend, was long dead by the hands of the very mad man her husband chose to protect.

Stopping at the next window, she smiled as she took in the display. The laughing faces of children stared back at her from a large television monitor in the window. Their bright colored clothes made her smile as she watched them dance around on the screen.

Reaching over to caress her flat stomach, Narcissa shook her head and frowned. Voldemort had taken so much from them, even their dream of a large family. Now the bastard was trying to take away their only child and that husband of hers was just going to stand there and let it happen. Of course he didn't know the whole story, but still how could he act as if this was the greatest thing in the world?

"This will not happen." she stated calmly to her reflection in the glass as two brilliantly crystal blue eyes sparkling back at her.

Turning to continue walking, she suddenly collided into another figure.

"Oh, excuse me." yelped a startled voice.

"My fault." chimed Narcissa picking up a small bag from the sidewalk and handing it to the woman. Looking up for the first time, Narcissa stopped cold as she found herself staring into dark green mesmerizing eyes. It wasn't the color that startled her; she'd seen far more brilliant ones. It was the sadness coming off them, as if they where dead and empty. The depths of the feeling coming from those eyes sent a small chill down her spine.

Short dark hair framed the woman's pale features as she peered back at Narcissa. She wasn't a pretty woman by any means. Nothing stood out about her at all. Yet, there was a familiar feeling that came over Narcissa as she handed the bag over that was overwhelming.

"Sorry" muttered the other woman quickly taking the bag back from Narcissa and quickly sidestepping her as she continued on her way.

"Wait!" called Narcissa walking quickly after the woman.

Stopping in her tracks the thin woman turned to peer at Narcissa questioningly.

"I'm sorry, but you look awfully familiar, have we met before?"

Opening her mouth to reply, she was cut off as a loud bit of cursing interrupted her. Looking over, Narcissa frowned as a rather large man and boy made their way out of a nearby store carrying a rather large package.

"There you are." huffed the boy looking over at the two of them.

Raising an eyebrow, Narcissa stared with a look of annoyance across at the boy making him take a step back.

"I'm sorry, but we really must be going." smiled the woman interrupting Narcissa from her thoughts.

"Of course, I'm sorry, you just seemed familiar, are you sure we've never meet."

"Quite sure." she replied.

Nodding her head in a goodbye, Narcissa made her way down the streets once again. Whoever she was Narcissa vowed to herself that she would find out. There was just something too familiar about her.

"Mum, who was that?"

Watching as the tall blonde glided down the streets of London away from them, Petunia Dursley smiled briefly over at her son. She hadn't lied of course. Narcissa Black or now Malfoy as she slightly remembered Lily mentioning her friend's marriage had never met, but she knew who she was. She remembered her from all the pictures Lily had hidden under her bed in her room when they were younger. They couldn't be put out on the shelves among other photos. How would they have explained all the moving images to everyone, they didn't live in the magical world as Lily did most of the time.

As much as she disliked all the weird magic things her sister had, the moving images had always fascinated her as she sat and watched them. Vernon had wanted nothing belonging to her sister in their home after she's died stating that anything Lily had owned was contaminated with freakishness. Petunia thought this was rubbish of course; they did after all take in her sister's son Harry. Probably the most magical item her sister had. She loved her husband and would do whatever he said.

"Mum" shouted Dudley yanking at her sleeve and shaking her from her thoughts.

"What is it Dudleykins?" smiled Petunia sweetly.

"I asked you who that was."

"No one dear, now get in, we're going to go and visit your Aunt Marge." replied Petunia opening the car door for her son.

Taking one last glance down the street, Petunia slid into the car beside her husband and listened as he rattled on to the boy about being involved with the right type of people. Vernon was firm in his belief that he of course knew who the right type of people where. Taking every opportunity to point out that Harry and any others like him were the wrong type and that one should have nothing to do with their kind.

Petunia didn't point out the fact that her mother was of the same kind as Lily. Even though their relationship had become strained she still loved and missed her mum. Looking in the rearview mirror at the image of her son in the back seat, watching as he stuffed what appeared to be yet another cookie into his mouth. Petunia wondered what her mother would have thought of her grandson.

Very little contact had been made after she married into the Dursley's. Vernon wanted nothing to do with any of them. With Lily living in the magical world most of the time there was little opportunity for them to run into each other. Therefore it had been quite a shock when Albus Dumbledore had showed up at their home carrying her late sister's child. She had only seen the child once or twice before and everytime she did strange emotions of hate and love would overtake her.

Vernon had, of course, outright refused to take the boy. It was only after threats of being thrown into a wizarding prison for abandoning a child that he finally agreed. If only Harry hadn't been magical. Then maybe Vernon would have loved him and she would have been allowed to also. Maybe they would have been a family and Harry would be here with them today going to meet with the Headmaster at her husband's old college about her Dudley's enrollment in there soon.

"Petunia." called Vernon taking her out of her thoughts.

"What dear?" asked Petunia looking over at her husband and smiling slightly.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" questioned Vernon turning to look at her.

"I'm sorry dear; I guess my mind was somewhere else." answered Petunia.

Nodding after a moment Vernon simply turned back around and started the car.

"Now as I was telling Dudley, surrounding yourself with the right type of people who will help further your career …"

Turning her head to look out once again at the passing houses and business Petunia inwardly sighed. For the first time in a long time, Petunia Dursley wished she was anywhere else but there.

If anyone noticed the slight bags under Harry's eyes as he made his way out of Honeydukes carrying a bag of treats, no one said a thing. He and Seamus were heading over to meet Neville and Dean at the 3 Broomsticks for a round of butterbeers.

"It's too bad Malfoy couldn't join us after all." stated Seamus popping a kiwi flavored jellybean into his mouth. "Wonder where he went off to so early anyway?"

"Yeah." replied Harry not looking over at the other boy.

Being anywhere near Draco at the moment seemed like a bad idea to Harry. The dream had been rather disturbing in itself. Not the part about kissing another boy mind you. He'd never given it much thought until Hermione had pointed out that he could very well have a male partner as a mate. Strange as it was, he didn't find the idea as unappealing as he thought he would have.

Kissing Draco in the dream had felt right somehow. From what he had learned though, Veela's didn't find their mates until after they came into their inheritance, not before. He'd have to ask Hermione about it when he'd see her at the burrows.

"Harry?"

"Hmm"

"We're here."

"What?"

"We're here." laughed Seamus grabbing hold of and dragging Harry through the door to meet their friends.

Settling down with a round of butterbeer the four friends paid little attention to the other patrons as they chatted away.

"So how's it going with Mary Ellen?" asked Harry looking over at Dean.

"We're no longer together; it's no big deal though. I tell you guys there just wasn't anything there. I have met someone else though. I just didn't know how to tell you guys about him."

"Him!" sputtered Neville looking across the table at the friend.

"Uhhmm, yeah. That's kind of the reason me and Mary Ellen broke up." replied Dean looking around. "You guys don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"Of course they don't!" chimed two voices from behind them.

"Fred, George!" smiled Harry leaping round to smile at the two tall redheads.

"Hey mate," said Fred and George, coming around to join them at the table.

"We were on our way over to Gringotts when we saw you come in here." commented Fred sitting down.

"So we thought we'd come over here before we left to say hi." continued George.

"So Dean, if you and Mary Ellen broke up, does that mean she's available?" smiled Fred looking over at the other boy across the table.

"Go for it mate." laughed Dean tossing back the rest of his drink before standing up muttering something about draining the lizard.

Two hours later found Harry making his way through the streets with Fred and George towards the Gringotts Bank in Diagon Alley. Talking with the twins had made him realize that he was going to need some extra cash throughout the summer. A quick trip back to Hogwarts had gotten him permission from Dumbledore to go with the twins into Diagon Alley. Another trip back to the twins' shop to pick up a few forgotten papers needed for their appointment with the goblins before flooing to Diagon Ally where he now found himself walking only slightly in front of the two mischievous red heads. Harry smiled brightly as he turned the corner to where the bank was before stopping in his tracks, the twins colliding with his backside.

"Harry?"

"Sorry" muttered Harry before continuing on his way inside the bank, glancing briefly over to the other side of the street quickly before going inside.

Looking over to the area that Harry had been staring at a moment earlier a flash of silvery blonde hair going into a small shop caught his eye. Looking over at his twins face, Fred knew that his twin had caught the sight of Draco Malfoy just as he did.

"Was that Draco Malfoy going into Jenkin Jewels?" asked Fred still staring across the street to the door where Draco had disappeared.

"I do believe it was." replied George a knowing smirk crossing his face.

Smiling at his twin Fred Weasley began crossing the street as George made his way inside the bank.

Draco walked into Mr. Jenkins shop and shivered. The place seemed to be chilly despite the warm summer air outside. Glancing around at the items as he browsed he couldn't help the feeling that he was being watched. He had wanted to join Harry and his friends on the trip into town, but the dream from the previous evening left him feeling shaken.

Over time he'd had quite a few dreams involving Harry. Most of which left him frustrated, hard and with a somewhat sticky situation the next morning. This dream though, had felt different. It was almost as if he'd actually been kissing the other boy. The uneasy part had come from the fact that Harry only saw him as the girl. It was the one part of the dream that he couldn't seem to shake.

Dreams involving Harry discovering his alternate form had occurred to him before. But on more than a few occasions these dreams of Harry falling for his female persona quickly turned into nightmares at having to see the horror in Harry's face as Draco revealed himself. These nightmares had always left him sick the next morning, physically and mentally. Getting out of the castle had felt like a good idea and he was glad for the distraction of shopping for a few items for Pansy and Blaise.

He'd received letters from both of them on the progress of their new relationship and questions of his well being. They also wanted to know of he had been all right with Potter staying there. Finally ending with Blaise asking Draco to please pick up a package for him at Jenkin's Jewels and send it to him personally for it was a surprise for Pansy.

"Ah, yes. Mr. Malfoy. What can I do for you today?" asked a rather petite woman coming from a backroom just beside the counter.

Looking up Draco smiled at the woman who seemed to falter in her steps as she smiled back at him. Draco guessed the woman was in her late thirties; her brown hair was pulled up into a soft bun as tendrils hung down the side of her face. The slight flush of her face went unnoticed by him as he began speaking to her.

"I'm here to pick up a package for a friend of mine, Blaise Zabini." replied Draco setting down the small orb he'd been studying in his hand. It took a moment for him to realize that the woman was indeed still standing there just staring at him.

Taking a step closer to her, Draco gently placed his hand on her arm.

"Are you alright?" he asked cautiously

Started, she suddenly jumped back, breaking contact with Draco's hand. He simply stared at her, confused, as she smiled brilliantly at him.

"I'm fine, thank you." She answered softly taking a step closer to him.

Taking a step back from her Draco frowned feeling slightly uneasy as the lady continued to stare at him. "I'm in a bit of a hurry, if you don't mind getting friends parcel …" his voice trailing off as she seemed to come out of whatever trance she was in.

"Yes, of course. Your package is in the back, I'll get it now." She stated turning back around and heading into the back room once again.

"Strange," muttered Draco turning away only to come face to face with red hair and freckles.

"Malfoy"

"Weasley"

"Harry told us about this truce the two of you have called." remarked Fred coming around Draco to pick up the orb the other boy had recently put down. "I'm not sure I would be so forgiving like Harry is."

Rolling his eyes slightly, Draco smiled as he looked back towards the curtain to the back room. He really didn't feel like hearing a lecture from one of the Weasley twins about how he was the wrong type of person for Harry to hang out with. Not that it would matter much anyway.

"I thought you lot were all about forgiveness and giving each other second chances." snorted Draco crossing his arms across his chest.

"We care about Harry is all." remarked Fred.

"I know you do." stated Draco rubbing his temple. "Look, I'm not saying that Potter and I are going to become the best of friends. We're just not fighting as much anymore. I would think everyone would be happy about that."

"Relax, Malfoy." smiled Fred setting the ball down. "As long as Harry's fine with it then so are we."

Sighing with relief Draco smiled.

"Of course you know if you do anything to hurt him you'll have to deal with us." stated Fred taking a step closer to him as he gently brushed a strand of hair out of the blonde's face. The sudden contact seemed to stun Draco for a moment leaving him momentarily speechless as he looked over at the taller red head.

"What's going on here?" demanded an icy voice from behind them.

Draco didn't know if it was from the temperature of the store or the coldness in the voice that made him suddenly shiver as he looked over at the questioning faces of one Harry Potter and George Weasley.

Green eyes seemed to spark in anger as they looked over at Draco and Fred.

Fred, one half the Weasley twins known for their pranks through out all of Hogwarts was now staring at Draco strangely as if he'd never seen him before.

"Here you are Mr. Malfoy." rang the sound of the shop owner's voice as she came from the back room once again. "I have that package you wanted."

Taking a step further into the room she stopped at the sight before her. The four young men standing in the middle of her shop seemed engrossed in each other so much they failed to notice her standing right next to them.

She cleared her throat loudly before tapping Draco on the shoulder to get his attention. Draco swirled around suddenly to glare at the unexpected intrusion. Realizing where he was after a moment he let his features soften as he smiled at her once again.

"Thank you. If there's a charge just put it on my bill." stated Draco, taking the package and heading for the door choosing to ignore the three Gryffindors standing there watching him.

He had to get out of there, away from Harry, away from the Weasley's. He could feel the dizziness starting to overtake him as he was standing there glaring at with Harry. The last thing he wanted to do was to get sick in front of him and the Weasley's. He'd made it a few feet away from the store before the sound of someone calling him from behind could be heard.

"Malfoy wait!" shouted Harry rushing out of the store after him.

"What?" Draco sneered as he continued to walk, hoping that Harry would get the hint and leave him alone

"What are you doing here?" asked Harry quickly. "I went to see if you wanted to join us today but they told me you had already left. How come you didn't join me and my friends?"

Snorting Draco continued to walk.

"After that little encounter with one half of the Weasley twins, I'm not sure if spending the afternoon with anymore of your friends is high on my 'to do' list."

"The Weasley's are just protective of me. That's all." exclaimed Harry taking strides to keep up with the angry blonde.

Draco spun around angrily and glared at the other boy causing Harry to stumble backwards.

"Yes, of course. They must protect you from the big bad Malfoy mustn't they Potter. You never know, this might all be a plan to trap you somehow." sneered Draco angrily.

It was stupid; this idea that he and Potter could be friends even for a short time. That for a little while he could forget that he was the son of a Deatheater. That his life was normal and that maybe just maybe Harry would actually care about him. He knew that some people would probably be suspicious of his sudden friendship with Harry. Somewhere in the back of his head the nagging little voice asking him what did it matter anyway? In a few weeks their accusations wouldn't hurt him anymore. Looking over at the slightly scruffy boy across from him, Draco frowned. For some reason it did matter.

Taking a step closer and gently placing a hand on Draco's shoulder, Harry smiled.

"Draco, Fred only meant well, you know this. Besides you haven't giving them much reason to trust you. I'm sure when they realize you're not out to hurt me they'll be alright. Give them some time…please."

Looking over Harry's shoulder at the two figures standing across the street in front of the bank a block away Draco closed his eyes and sighed.

"How do you know they're not right?" whispered Draco so quietly Harry almost didn't hear it.

Shrugging, Harry never took his eyes off Draco.

"I just do."

Staring at the other boy for a moment, Draco shook his head before smiling for the first time that day, his anger and hurt seeping away slowly.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that." stated Draco

Smiling Harry nodded. "Why don't you join us? You might have some fun."

"No thanks." replied Draco shaking his head. "I've actually got to get back soon. I'm meeting someone and I'm going to be late if I don't go right now."

"You're meeting someone?" questioned Harry the smile on his face slipping slightly.

"Yes." replied Draco checking the time on his watch, a Christmas present from his mother over holidays last year. It ran on a wizard or witch's magic instead of batteries. Draco adored it. "I have to get going."

"Sure," replied Harry turning to leave. "I'll see you later."

Watching as Harry made his way back over to the two red heads Draco frowned before swirling back around to continue his walk. He needed distance right now. Distance from everything and everybody…He needed to return to Hogwarts.

He could feel the dizziness starting to creep over him again as he stood talking to Potter only a moment ago. Taking a deep full breathe Draco stumbled slightly as he leaned against the nearest brick wall for a moment. The feeling of a hand on his shoulder startled him as pushed away from the wall.

Spinning around quickly he found himself staring into ice blue eyes. They reminded him so much of his mother's for a second as he stood there just staring into them. They were surrounded thought not by long strands of blonde but by lengths of black.

Taking a step back Draco recovered quickly to realize that he was standing with Sirius Black of all people. The man's grip on his shoulder seemed to tighten as Draco continued to gape at him.

The silence was finally broken as Sirius stepped back away from Draco to glance down and across the street to see Harry and the Weasley's walking away unaware of him there.

"I could use a drink, how about you?" asked Sirius suddenly taking a hold of Draco's arm before he could protest and pulled him along the street until they reached a small building

The outside of the building looked old and worn from age. It didn't seem to be a very large place as it was half-hidden between two larger buildings. A small wooden sign hung above the entrance with the words carved beautifully into the wood stating the name:

_'The Golden Cavern'_

Draco stood for a moment trying to place the name but it didn't sound familiar to him. In fact, he didn't recognize it at all. The Malfoy's had always prided themselves on knowing about every business in town. If father had never mentioned it before, then it was probably not worth what was considered Malfoy standards. It took only a moment after stepping inside for Draco to realize how wrong that assessment was.

The outside did little justice for the inside as Draco and Sirius entered the establishment. The walls were covered in deep red fabric with gold leaves embroidered on them. Dark mahogany tables covered in cream silk tablecloths filled the room.

Large candlelight chandeliers hanging from the ceiling as small glass candles giving off a soft fragrance of honeysuckle and a soft glow took up the center of each table. The overall effect gave the establishment a calming atmosphere.

A few older wizards and witches looked over at them as they entered before quickly looking away again. Private booths could be found along the back and in a few strategic places. It was at one of these booths that Draco finally found himself sitting.

"I'm starving." announced Sirius as he sat down across the table from Draco and picked up a menu from the top of the table.

"Not that I'm complaining about the establishment here Black, but why the hell did you drag me over here?" snarled Draco suddenly.

Sirius continued to ignore the irritated blonde as he scanned the menu.

"How about trying the shrimp scampi? I haven't had that in awhile." stated Sirius running his fingers along the listed items.

"I'm not hungry." replied Draco.

The sound of his stomach rumbling caused him to blush slightly before looking away as Sirius looked up and smiled at him raising an eyebrow slightly before looking back down again.

Getting up Draco looked over at Sirius

"I really do have things I need to do, so I'll just be…"

"Sit down!" growled Sirius not looking up from the menu.

For a moment Draco simply stood there staring at the older man before sliding back into his seat. Draco studied the man for a moment. His mother had told him only a few things about her cousin. He knew that they hadn't exactly been very close growing up. He also learned though that the former Gryffindor had an explosive temper, especially it would seem, if anyone ever hurt is precious godson.

When it seemed the older man wasn't in any hurry to start talking, Draco let his gaze fall around the room. He noted that the glowing soft candles in the center of each table were in fact not candles at all. Tiny winged creature appeared to be at the center of each table.

Looking back down at his own table, he was startled to find two little blinking eyes staring back at him from behind glass. Fluttering its wings the little creature smiled brightly at Draco before pulling out what appeared to be a flute from its pocket and began playing.

The thought of how something so small could actually play something loud enough for him to hear filtered through his mind before fading away as he listened to the melody.

"They're called Moon Junies"

"What?" asked Draco taking his gaze away from the creature to look back at Sirius berating himself for letting him get distracted by the creature?

Nodding towards the fairy like being Sirius smiled.

"Beautiful aren't they?"

"Yes" agreed Draco. "But I highly doubt that they are why you brought me here…and where is here anyway? I've never heard of this place."

"I learned some interesting news when I got home yesterday." stated Sirius putting down the menu and folding his hands together. Leaning forward he peered across the table at Draco.

"Professor Lupin informed me that you and my Godson have decided to stop fighting."

Sneering slightly Draco shook his head. _'Is this what this is all about'_ he thought. _'Gods just because Potter and I decide not to get at each others throats as much anymore, what gives everyone the right to suddenly question my motives_.'

_'Do you really want to answer that?'_ the voice in Draco's head snickered

_'Shut up!!' _screamed Draco inwardly.

Leaning forward slightly Draco narrowed his eyes as he looked directly into Sirius's.

"I can assure you Mr. Black, that there are no ulterior motives for this. I am not out to do your Godson any harm. I, however, do not like the implications from everyone that I am. This truce wasn't my idea after all. If you have a problem with it then perhaps you should be discussing it with Harry."

Leaning back slightly Sirius smiled.

The sudden images of a very angry Black being sent to Azkaban filtered through Draco's mind. Twelve years in prison can change a person, no matter how innocent they may have been. He'd been around too many of his father's associates not to see when someone was hiding something.

"I don't recall accusing you of anything cousin, but after your history with Harry you can't expect people to take you at face value that you wouldn't hurt Harry."

"True."

"I will however say this. If you cause my Godson in anyway to regret his decision, there will be no place on god's earth that you will ever be able to hide from me."

The coldness in Black's voice sent chills down Draco's spine causing him to only nod slightly.

TBC…

Review Time:

I want to thank all of you that took the time to review my story. it really means a lot to me.

Blu: Thank you, but this is actually my very first Harry Potter fiction. I started off writing Roswell fiction and caught the bug from there. I have to admit some of my earlier work is really crapola. A good Beta Reader is a Godsend. .. Of course I did have to learn patience, because of this>

Mon2: Wow sooo many reviews, thanks..Draco is feeling the pull stronger because of what he is and the changes he will be going through. Harry's pull towards draco will become stronger after he goes through his inheritence. and no right now Voldy doesn't know he can change. cany anyone say double bonding.

Brennend: Yeah I know if's going at a slow pace but right now It can't be helped Hopefully things will start to move along quicker in the coming chapters. As for what's happening to Draco, not everything is due to the pregnancy

Thanks again for the review, I'm sorry I couldn't comment to everyone. but you all mean a lot to me!

Jadestonedreams


	10. Seeing is not always believing

**Title:** If Only To Feel

**Author:** Jadestonedreams

**Rating:** R

**Disclaimer:** If they aren't in the book or the Movie they're mine.. if not they're J.K. Rowlings…"sighs" Lucky duck!!!

**Pairing:** Harry/Draco, other pairings.

**Summary:** Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a veela searching for his mate. Will the secrets that Draco hides, keep Harry from claiming his true love?

**A/N:** I don't follow the book in my stories, so people who may be dead there. Might turn up alive here.

**Warning:** Slash. Mpreg and sex…You no like.. go away!!

Chapter 10…

**Seeing is not always believing…**

"Hey Malfoy wait up!"

Stopping in the middle of his stride Draco glanced back over his shoulder and smiled. It had been nearly a week since his encounter with Sirius Black and the Weasley twins. He'd managed to make it the rest of the day and the next without seeing anyone. Well except for Neville Longbottom, for some reason that Draco could not begin to explain he liked the other boy's company.

The two of them spent the evenings laughing and talking while Draco helped the other boy study for potions. It hadn't taken long for him to see that the quiet Gryffindor had a lot more to him than anyone ever knew. The problem was, right now, he didn't feel like any company. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt the boy who had been more kind to him than he probably deserved.

Coming up along side of him, Neville smiled as he looked around. Luckily no one was there at the moment. Students were still in class and Draco was just on his way to see his godfather.

"I'm glad I caught you," stated Neville quickly. "I wanted to let you know that I won't be able to make it tonight after all." Draco felt a small wave of relief flood over him, it wasn't that he was growing tired of helping Neville, he simply was grateful for a break.

"Besides," continued Neville as if reading the other man's thoughts. "I think we could both use a break for one night, don't you?"

Rubbing his eyes, Draco smiled and yawned slightly. Sleep had seemed to either be avoiding him completely for the past few nights or sneaking up on him suddenly in the middle of the day. He'd nearly fallen asleep during one of McGonagall's lectures the day before. Luckily Harry had shaken him awake before the older woman could notice. Since he was only there for a little while Harry wasn't required to go to any classes but had opted to sit in on a few for the remainder of his time there. They had at least three together. It had struck Draco as odd when Harry had sauntered in a few minutes before class started and sat next to him. A quick smile was the only explanation that he'd gotten before the Professor had started class.

"Yeah I could use a break, I'm really tired," commented Draco trying not to sound too relieved.

Smirking slightly Neville tilted his head to the side and smiled. "Yeah I noticed you nearly fell asleep in class. Good thing Harry was there."

Draco could feel his cheeks burn slightly and prayed that the other boy didn't notice. The need to be near the raven-haired boy seemed to increase every day. Harry himself seemed to actually enjoy spending time with Draco, often inviting him to join him and his friends whenever they were together.

He had yet to tell anyone of his encounter with Sirius Black. For one thing he really didn't see the point of telling anyone about the encounter and secondly what did it really matter in the end. In only a few short days Harry would be gone and not long after so would he. '_Though in a more permanent fashion_.' He thought. If everyone wanted to think the worst of him then so be it. Everyone seemed to have formed an opinion on him. Too bad most of their beliefs were wrong.

Looking over at Neville, Draco couldn't help but smile. Neville had been the only one who had not accused him of literally being up to no good when the subject of he and his supposed enemy came up. In fact they had never really discussed the matter in all the times they had spent together.

"Hmmm, yes I suppose," commented Draco doing his best to look as if he didn't care one way or another about Harry Potter.

If Draco had looked closer instead of letting thoughts in his mind wander to certain dark whips of hair hanging smoothly over emerald eyes that smiled brilliantly back out at him, he would have seen the knowing look that crossed over the Gryffindor's face. Neville Ellessedil Longbottom was many things. He was quiet, shy…good at herbology … decent at curses, and horrible at potions…at least he believed so. There was one thing though that the shy Gryffindor was exceedingly good in and it was people. More to the fact, he was good in the study of other people's behavior.

Being that he was almost completely ignored the first few years he had attended Hogwarts, Neville had learned to watch others and observed how they interacted. He hung out with his friends of course, but most forgot he was even there. Never really even talking directly too him. Ignoring him as if he were a shadow, always there but for all intended purposes, unimportant. He'd often wondered for awhile if he simply got up and left would his friend's even notice, or would they carry on as if nothing was wrong.

The answer to that particular question had come last year when he'd done just that without actually meaning to. A trip into Hogsmeade with the boys from his dorm had led to butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks and much enthusiastic fun. It had never really occurred to him to tell the others where he was going when he'd run into an old friend from home while there. It had simply felt good to be talking to someone and not simply be there, while others monopolized the conversations. In hindsight now, it would have been best to tell the others he was leaving but at the time well it never occurred to him.

Returning to the dorms later that evening he discovered how important that little fact of telling others when you're leaving was. An hour's worth of yelling and lectures from both Hermione and Ginny had left him with a terrible headache. Not to mention how angry his dorm mates were after having spent a great deal of their time looking for him, completely ruining any plans that they had made for that day. To top that off, he'd also received a week's worth of detention from his head of house, Professor McGonagal, along with another lecture on 'why it's bad' not telling anyone of your whereabouts. That little incident had in itself revealed a lot to him, about himself and the others.

Looking over at Draco now, Neville was glad for those little insights, which he came to see in his friends. It had taken some time over the past few years but constant …well, let's just call it surveillance of two of Hogwarts greatest enemies had revealed a lot to him. Like the slight hue arising in the other boy's cheeks which faded as quickly as it came, that another person never would have noticed. Neville, of course, did.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," smiled Neville looking back down the hall and back again. "I have a new experiment I want to try out."

Opening his mouth to speak, the short reply that would have come out was suddenly overtaken by the sudden wave of dizziness that came over him. '_Crap_' thought Draco leaning back against the wall and rubbing his temple _'not now'_. Closing his eyes against the onslaught of colors that invaded his eyes once again, Draco took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.

"Are you alright?" Neville asked worriedly taking a step forward.

"Yeah," laughed Draco pushing himself away from the wall and trying to sound light-hearted. "It's just a little headache. I need to lie down."

It wasn't until he felt two arms wrap around his waist that Draco realized he must have stumbled forwards a bit, right into the Neville. The other boy's arms wrapped around his waist trying to help him stand. His apology was cut off by the occurrence of two things. First, the sudden feel of two soft lips closing over his and then the sound of laughter and footsteps heading towards them followed by a sharp gasp.

Pulling away suddenly Draco looked over at the shocked faces of Harry, Seamus and Dean, then back to the guilty face of Neville standing next to him.

"So this is where you've been sneaking off too." chimed Seamus coming out of his shock to take a few steps towards Draco and Neville. "We've been wondering where you've been the last few evenings."

Neville could feel his own cheeks start to burn slightly as Draco kept staring at him. Turning away to look over at Seamus, Neville shook his head. "It's not what you think."

"Then what is it?" Harry asked speaking for the first time.

"It's none of your business," sneered Draco turning towards Harry for the first time.

Glancing between the two boys Neville shivered inwardly. '_Why had he kissed Malfoy?'_ he wondered. Yes, he had known for a few years now that he preferred guys to girls when it came to dating. Not that he'd actually told any of his friends that. It wasn't that he was ashamed of the fact. It was just that, well, he felt it was really none of their business. He had, of course, noticed how fantastically hot the blonde was, he wasn't blind after all. But it had been like an overwhelming feeling of desire had come over him when the other boy had stumbled into his arms earlier. The urge to claim those soft lips near his had been strong. He could still feel the softness of them even now.

"If you guys don't mind, I need to speak to Draco," stated Neville looking back over at Harry.

"Yeah alright" replied Dean speaking for the first time causing Neville to jump as the voice came from right next to him. The sandy haired boy's presence had temporarily been forgotten.

Looking over, Seamus smiled faintly at Neville. He felt a wave of sympathy wash over him as he took in the other boy's lost and somewhat frightened expression at being caught. Not that he could blame him for what he did. Draco Malfoy seemed to be as close to perfection as possible with that smooth whitish blonde hair caressing that pale porcelain alabaster skin. Making you itch to run your fingers gently through the strands and over that angelic body. Letting a smile sweep across his face as he turned his glance to the pale blonde of his thoughts Seamus's smile faded as a shiver ran up his spine. The air seemed to have dropped ten degrees suddenly or at least that was what it seemed like as he looked between both Draco and Harry.

"Uhmmm… yeah, come on Dean," stated Seamus suddenly walking over to the other boy and pulling on his arm. "We need to get going or we'll be late."

Narrowing his eyes in slight confusion and annoyance, Dean nodded before heading back the way they had came, followed by Seamus, leaving Draco, Neville and Harry standing there.

"Uhmm, Harry I…I need to speak to Draco alone."

For a moment Neville was sure Harry was going to protest or begin demanding answers to questions that he had no answers to. But Harry had only nodded his head somewhat reluctantly before brushing past them to continue on his way. Which both Draco and Neville noticed, was not in the same direction of Dean and Seamus. The look that he shot Neville as he passed him sent a chill down the other boy's spine. Gulping Neville turned towards Draco only to be slammed up against the wall.

"What the hell was that?" demanded Draco.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Neville pushing the other boy off him.

"What do you mean, '_you don't know_?" growled Draco shaking his head. "You don't just go around randomly kissing people do you?"

"Only the ones that fall into my arms," laughed Neville trying to lighten the mood.

The glare sent his way told him he'd been unsuccessful.

Sighing Neville shook his head. "I'm sorry; I really _don't_ know what came over me. I should not have kissed you like that."

Draco for his part wanted to scream in fustration. Longbottom, Neville Longbottom of all people had kissed him and right in front of Harry. Whether it was from the shock of the kiss or seeing Harry and his friends standing there Draco didn't know. The affect though had cleared up his dizzy feeling almost immediately. Now though he could feel his headache returning.

"I'm going back to my room now. I think my headache is getting worse." stated Draco. "I think maybe we're done studying for the rest of the week, don't you?"

"Draco…I…"

"Don't," sighed Draco turning away. "Just don't."

Watching till Draco's silvery blonde hair disappeared down the hall Neville slid to the floor, his head buried in his hands. _'What have I done?'_ he thought running his fingers through his hair. It had taken him awhile to figure out, but he knew. He knew that Malfoy had feelings for Harry and what had he done. He'd kissed him, right in front of the other boy. The little voice telling him that he hadn't known Harry was there, was of little comfort as he gathered himself up and headed back to Gryffindor tower. He never noticed the pair of eyes following his movement.

**In a small town somewhere else:**

Reaching into her crumpled popcorn bag Paige Lebeaux felt around amongst the bits of un-popped and half-popped pieces in search of a full-blown kernel of popped corn. 'Gotcha' she thought, finally locating a rather large piece and bringing it to her mouth to nibble on. The salted butter taste slipped past her lips just as the familiar tingling sensation crept upon the back of her neck. Closing her eyes she let the feeling wash over her.

_Magic_, she could feel it, could sense it, could see it, and sometimes-even taste it. This magic had a light tingling sensation. Like when the autumn winds brush your hair across your cheeks. Peering through half closed eyes she smiled. Wherever it was coming from it wasn't meant to harm, this she could tell. Dark magic, she knew, had a very different feel to it. Dark magic felt cold and itchy. Dark magic cast felt like tiny little spiders crawling through your veins.

Looking up she sighed_ 'damn'_ she though as she watched the credits rolling up _'I really wanted to see the end of that.' _

"Come on," laughed a light voice next to her.

Looking over, Paige smiled at her sister. Morrigana Lebeaux, Paige's sister and current film buddy stood to leave. She too had felt the magic and like her sister had let the feeling wash over her. Looking around she snickered at a couple not far from them, the movie apparently forgotten in their haste to devour each other.

Rolling her eyes as she pushed her sister out of the aisle and towards the exit, Paige couldn't help smiling.

"What time is it?" Morrigana asked looking around for a clock.

"It's …damn my watch stopped," groaned Paige tapping the glass cover of her wristwatch.

"Excuse me, do you know what the time is?" asked Morrigana as two men brushed past them, one shaking his head no before continuing on their way. If it hadn't been for their slight rudeness she would have said they were both quite handsome.

Turning to her sister she shrugged and headed to the ladies room.

"Let's just go," stated Morrigana coming out a moment later followed by her sister. "I'm hungry and Dumont's stops serving dinner soon if it hasn't already."

"My God, you're like a bottomless pit…you just ate a whole bag of popcorn!"

"Hey, that was you. Thanks for sharing by the way." smirked Morrigana falling in step beside her sister.

"Rule number 1: no talking during the movie…rule number 2: Unless you are on a rather hot date with person of your dreams; Popcorn is shareable by buyer's consent only…meaning next time buy your own…rule number 3 be sure to…."

"Enough!" laughed Morrigana taking hold of her sister's arm and pulling her out into the night air. Taking a deep breath of fresh air as they looked around, the two young women ignored the looks sent their way. Travelling around the globe had brought many comments on the beauty of the two. The fact that they were twins was even more fascinating to many because they looked nothing alike. Paige had her reddish golden hair hanging down her back in wavy curls and with her eyes a deep rich blue which looked out at you from a soft pinkish slightly freckled face. She looked more like one of the Weasley's than the twin of the woman walking next to her.

Morrigana Lebeaux brushed finger through the long strands of her hair pushing it away from her face. Like her sister's, her hair also hung in long wavy curls down the center of her back. The reddish curls though were as dark as midnight until light filtered through them giving each strand a look of burning coal. Her eyes an emerald green looked back at you from milky white skin; the paleness of her skin only overridden by the slight pale hue of her cheeks.

They were a stunning sight to behold as they walked down the streets of the small town of Waterford. Many bystanders often turned their heads as they walked past. The two women paid little or no attention to these goings on. They had become so used to other people glancing at them they no longer paid any heed, they would move on after awhile.

"You see, I told you they would still be open." smiled Paige as they turned the corner a few blocks from the theater.

Looking ahead Morrigana did indeed smile as they came upon the sight of one of her favorite eatery's _Dumonte's, _practically pulling her sister across the street to enter.

Laughing, both women were halfway across the street when the piercing sound of screaming wailed across the night sky causing both women to suddenly stop in their tracks.

The popping sounds coming from all around them as they turned sent chills down them as the feeling of dark magic permeated through the air. Figures in black robes stood not far from them, white masks covering their faces, hiding their identities as they swept through the crowds leaving people screaming in agony from curses.

Paige could feel her heart quicken as she grabbed her sister's arm and ran. The shouting and screaming around them seemed to increase as the black robed figures made their way through uncaringly. Their father had told them of these figures ever since they could remember. These Death Eaters or at least Paige believed they were called that. She hated them. She hated them with a passion. They had taken the life of her beloved mother and left her family in hiding.

"Run faster!" shouted Morrigana next to her.

Morrigana shivered as she felt the dark magic growing around her in the air. The prickly swooshing past her as she watched an elderly woman fall down a few feet away from her and Paige. Blood seeped from the woman's mouth and nose as she convulsed on the ground. Her screams were sending quakes throughout the dark haired woman's body. The urge to regurgitate at the site of that poor creature sent her spiraling to the ground pulling her and her sister down.

Quickly getting to her feet to pull her sister up, Paige whipped around at the whispered voices behind her. Her eyes widened at the flash of green light emanating from the end of the wands pointing at them. The next few moments seemed to pass slowly as Paige watched the green light grow brighter and start to spiral towards her and her sister as if in slow motion.

The sound of popping around her as she watched the Deatheater fall from another curse sent his way. There was a flash of red hair turning her way and two pairs of cornflower blue eyes looking towards her sadly as the green light hit her full force in the chest. She could feel the magic explode inside her chest as she fell back across her sister. The two bodies sprawled across the ground, no visible form of life coming from them anymore.

Charlie Weasley arrived at the scene along with the other Aurors not long after the attack had begun. The sounds of screaming and panic filled the air as he and the other members of his team did what they could to save the frightened muggles around them. Reports on the attack had come in only moments earlier, leaving no time for anyone to prepare.

Looking over at the forms of the two women as they fell, he couldn't help but feel a moment of sadness at the end of such lives. Turning back around he went to help the others. There was no time to mourn the deaths right now. No time to stop and grieve for strangers.

"Stupefy!" he yelled out causing another dark robed figure to fall.

_'How much longer will we have to deal with this?'_ he wondered as he jumped back just in time from a stray curse sent his way.

It had taken only moments, but it seemed like hours had passed before they were able to beat back the Deatheaters. The price had been the death of at least 2 members of his team. Others, wizards and muggle alike were left in shock and badly injured. It would take awhile to straighten out everything. Members of the Ministry had been called in to deal with the frightened muggles and to clean up the mess left by Voldemorts followers.

"Charlie."

Looking up from the report in his hand, Charlie ran his fingers through his hair as Jared Finchly approached him. The two of them hadn't been working together long, but they had become fast friends after the young boy had saved his life in one of the last raids. Charlie was glad to see the other man alive.

"Both Gordon and Nichols are going to be fine, but they'll have to spend a few weeks at St. Mungo's." stated the younger man looking around sadly. "Why in the world would they attack here anyway?"

"I don't know," replied Charlie sadly. "Let's get back to headquarters maybe they will be able to give us some clue."

"I believe all the muggles have been accounted for and obliviated as to what happened here tonight. A cover story about how a gas explosion in one of the destroyed stores causing the injuries and hallucinations had been set."

Shaking his head, Charlie let a light smile pass over his face at the story the ministry had set up. Small attacks sometimes could be hidden with a simple charm to make the muggles forget. Others like this one leaving a few people dead and building destroyed required more work.

"Any idea who those two are?" asked Charlie jerking in the direction behind where he stood. "Unfortunately I was unable to stop the bastard before he killed them."

Looking past his friend and team leader, Jared scanned the area and frowned.

"Who?"

"The two women over…" began Charlie his voice fading off as he looked out at the empty ground.

"There's no one there." replied Jared looking. "Are you sure that's where they were? Maybe the ministry has gotten to them already?"

"No," replied Charlie as he began walking towards the area.

"Well they're gone now," Jared stated following him.

Bending down and letting his eyes roam over the smooth ground, Charlie frowned. It had been here, he was sure of it. The images of the two women falling from the Death Eaters curse cast upon them. The red hair reminded him of his own family, making him wonder for a moment if she might not have been a distant relative.

"I'll go check and see if anyone knows anything," stated Jared interrupting his thoughts.

Nodding Charlie stood to follow before a twinkle caught his eye in the grass. Narrowing his eyes as he reached out to feel along the grass, his fingers connected with a slim gold chain. Lifting it up to examine, he frowned at the slim silver chain and Crescent moon hanging from one end, a smooth flat round medallion on the other. Flipping the metal over, he let the tip of his run along the imprinted words.

_'Xilium averda fi'derium leginon'_

The words had no meaning to him as he whispered them into the night air. Slipping the chain into his pocket as he turned to make his way to where Jared stood with two other ministry workers he noted how quiet the night suddenly seemed after everything that had occurred.

The cleanup was nearly completed, only a few members of the ministry remained now. Running his fingers through the thick strands of his red hair he glanced back over to the area where the two women had fallen once more before leaving, never noticing the two sets of eyes watching his movements from the distance.

"Dammit," whispered Paige rubbing her wrist gently as she peered out at the scene before her and her sister. "He's got my bracelet."

"I know," groaned Morrigana. "There's nothing we can do about that now, though. We've got to get out of here before they see us."

"You're right," agreed Paige turning to her sister. "I don't want to have to explain to them why we're still alive and not out there rotting on the ground like those others."

"Yeah," snorted Morrigana nodding her head in agreement.

Not looking back both women made there way away from the devastating scene. Now was not the time to explain who and what they were.

Throwing his books on the large desk near what appeared to be an enchanted window giving the impression of looking out at the sky; Draco made his way across the room and sat on the edge of the bed before falling back across, his legs hanging down along the side.

Hearing the tentative knock at the door he groaned as he sat up. He really wasn't in the mood to see anyone right now, especially Neville apologizing to him again. Opening the door a moment later Draco wished that it _had_ been Neville standing there instead of the corridor's occupant, namely one Harry Potter.

"Potter, what the hell are you doing here?" growled Draco taking a look down the hall to see if anyone was there.

"Can I come in?" asked Harry not bothering to wait for an answer before sliding pass Draco and entering the room.

"Sure," muttered Draco rolling his eyed slightly as he closed the door. "Come on in…make yourself at home."

"Nice place. I guess being a Malfoy does have its advantages," creamed Harry in a smooth but snarky tone. Walking around the room and stopping in front of the window to peer out at what looked like a spring lake, Harry took a deep breathe to calm himself as he waited for Draco to say something.

"I suppose," muttered Draco heading back over to the bed and sitting at the foot of it. "Now, is there a reason why you're here or am I supposed to guess?"

Now that he was actually here, Harry seemed at a lost for words as he stared across the room at Draco. Seeing Neville kiss Draco earlier had sent a swirl of anger through him like never before. The feeling had left him in a foul mood as he walked along the corridors of the school.

Turning away from the window scenery he shrugged.

"I was just wondering how long you and Neville have been together." questioned Harry nonchalantly. "I mean you could have told me…"

Running his fingers through his hair Draco sighed. He could feel another headache coming on.

"Look Potter, not that it's any of your business but Longbottom and I are not together…."

"So you're just shagging?" asked Harry bitterly.

"What? No!!"

"Then what the bloody hell were you doing kissing in the halls?" hissed Harry getting annoyed.

"I wasn't kissing Neville!" shouted Draco jumping to his feet.

"So, its Neville now, is it?" sneered Harry, in what could have been considered true Malfoy form. "Sure as hell didn't take you long to use _his_ first name did it?"

"So what, now you're jealous that I actually use Neville's name and not yours?" scoffed Draco.

"I'm not jealous Malfoy; I just don't want to see my friends get hurt," stated Harry coldly.

The moment the words had left his mouth Harry knew he'd made a mistake. The flash of pain across Draco's face sent his stomach into knots. Inside he berated himself for saying anything. The silence in the room was deafening except for the ticking chime of the old antique clock decorating the wall just beyond them.

"Get out!" hissed Draco turning away from him.

"Look Malfoy I…"

"What? No … Is that what you think?" asked Draco icily his eyes shooting daggers at Harry as he spun around quickly. "That I would somehow hurt Longbottom?"

"That's not what I meant," stammered Harry "It's just that Neville…."

"Can take care of himself." interrupted Draco bitterly. "Neither he nor I need your approval on what we do."

"So you are together then?"

"I've already answered that question," hissed Draco walking over to the door and opening it. "Now if you don't mind, I would like you to leave."

Taking a few steps towards the door Harry stopped next to the blonde boy. Opening his mouth to say something he was stopped by the coldness in those silvery Grey orbs staring back at him.

"I'll talk to you later, then," he muttered stepping out into the hall.

"Yeah, later," muttered Draco slamming the door shut behind him.

Standing outside the door Harry hit his fist against the stone walls of the castle in frustration. He hadn't meant to come here and start an argument with Malfoy. He certainly hadn't meant to act as if he was jealous of him and Neville being together.

He wasn't jealous at all. After all he and Draco were only friends, nothing more. If Draco wanted to be with Neville then who was he to get upset over it, after all wasn't he just thinking earlier about how Neville deserved someone.

Looking down at the broken skin of his knuckles and the blood seeping between his fingers he groaned and headed back to the Gryffindor tower, wincing at the pain in his hand as he trekked along the way.

"Harry mate, where have you been?" chimed Seamus looking up from what appeared to be a heated game of wizard's chess with Katherine Parker a seventh year Ravenclaw. Of course everyone called her Kat and if Harry remembered correctly, she was currently dating one of the Creevey brothers.

"Just out walking," smiled Harry keeping his hands to his side and hoping that none of his friends would notice. He would have to go see Madam Pomfrey later.

"Well it's a good thing you came back when you did, you get to see me humiliate Finnigan here," smiled Kat looking up from the board.

"Is that a challenge Parker?" hissed Seamus letting his gaze fall back on to the snickering face of the Ravenclaw.

"Seamus I don't know why you're even playing with Kat, she beats you every time," laughed Harry with a smile.

"Hmmph," snorted Seamus giving Harry a quick glare. "Not this time."

"Sorry luv, but you know it's true," laughed Kat a little gleam appearing in her eye as she added with a smirk. "And no it's not a challenge…. it's a promise."

Rolling his eyes to himself as he made his way past them Harry smiled. Kat was known for her chess playing skills having nearly beaten Ron on a few occasions. Although after seeing her play some of the other members of his and other houses Harry got the distinct impression that Kat may have just _let_ Ron win after all.

"Oh yeah Harry!!" called Seamus from behind him stopping him just as he was heading up the stairs. "Have you seen Neville…you know, since earlier?"

Turning back around Harry frowned. "No. I thought he came back here?"

"Both Dean and I came here, to ask him about …you know, but he wasn't here," shrugged Seamus now looking back down at the board.

"He's probably just off studying again somewhere," stated Harry turning to head up the stairs again. "He probably doesn't want to get harassed by you two."

"Why would you want to harass Neville?" interrupted Kat looking over the board at Seamus.

"No reason," smiled Seamus "Neville just seems to have himself a new boyfriend is all."

"Longbottom?" exclaimed Kat leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. "Well it doesn't surprise me." she stated leaning forward again and making another move. "Too bad though, I know a lot of girls in my class who'll be disappointed."

Seamus frowned and watched helplessly as his pawn was mercilessly crushed beneath the blow of Kat's queen.

"Ahhh, the thrill of victory!!" exclaimed Kat smiling at him and standing up.

"I told you she'd beat you!" laughed Harry over his shoulders as he headed up the stairs listening to the sound of Seamus groaning.

Hermione Granger stood in front of her full-length mirror and smiled at the image before her. The once unruly mop of brown hair a top her head now hung smoothly down her backside in flowing cascades. Her face adorned with only the slightest hint of makeup as she applied a touch of lipstick to bring out her soft lips, which were smiling back at her now as she peered at her reflection.

"Wow! You look fabulous sis," exclaimed Winifred sitting on the edge of the four poster bed, her bare foot dangling off the side as her chin rested on the bend of her knee as she continued to paint her toenails.

At the age of 14 Winifred Granger stood only slightly shorter than her older sister. Her dark auburn hair pulled back into a ponytail that hung loosely down her back. The vast differences between the two sisters were easy to note at first glance. The pale skin tone of Hermione stood in deep contrast to Winifred's darker ones. The evidence of womanhood had already begun to appear on Winifred's slight form giving her a shapelier and much older look than her age allowed.

Twirling around to smile at her baby sister, Hermione grinned.

"Thanks Fred, but I'm only going out with a few of the gang. Nothing big."

Smiling at the use of Hermione's nickname for her Winifred simply shrugged. Hermione was the only one who ever called her Fred and it always made her smile.

"I'm sure Adam doesn't feel that way," snickered the younger girl ducking away as Hermione reached out to swat her.

"Winifred Anna Granger, you know I have a boyfriend" exclaimed Hermione with her hands on her hips.

Rolling her eyes Winifred snorted. "Geez, you sound like mom."

Opening her mouth to give a retort, Hermione quickly shut it before smiling.

"I do sound like her, don't I?" she laughed.

Nodding slightly as she stretched out across the bed Winifred watched as her older and elusive sister continued getting ready to go out with her friends.

"When do you have to leave?" Winifred asked after a moment.

Checking her watch Hermione frowned.

"Jackie and Nick are picking me up in about half an hour."

"That's not what I…." Winifred's voice trailed off as a loud tapping sound interrupted her.

Looking over Winifred smiled hesitantly at the brown and white spotted owl perched atop the windowsill.

"That from him?" questioned Winifred as Hermione opened the window to allow the weary creature in for a bit of rest and a snack.

Shaking her head, as she untied the letter firmly attached to the owl's leg Hermione smiled. "No, this is just from Kat, a girl at school. We promised to write each other over the summer."

Sitting up a little Winifred smiled, "Hey, how about if I go along, you guys will never even know I'm there."

"Nice try, but you know mom would kill me if I took you out. Besides, you're underage and were all going to the new club that opened this week," remarked Hermione tearing open the letter to read.

Opening her mouth to give a sarcastic reply Winifred quickly stopped as she watched her sister become engrossed into whatever was written on the pages in her hand.

"Figures," she mumbled getting up from the bed.

Looking over at her sister once more before leaving Winifred frowned and shook her head.

It wasn't until she heard the click of her door closing that Hermione looked up from the letter in her hand to see that Winifred had left. She really had meant to spend more time with her sister this summer, really she did. It was just that…. sighing she looked back down at the letter. She'd make it up to her later. So Neville and Malfoy were caught making out….

"Who would have thought?" She smirked.

Author's Note: I want to thank every one who's been so kind in reviewing my story. The response has been amazing, I really appreciate it.


	11. Shattered Glass: Intoxication of a Kiss

Hello everyone I know it's been awhile since I've updated. just wanted to let you know I'm still here and writing. I want to thank those of you that have reviewed my story and hope I don't dissapoint.

on with the show!

If Only To Feel

Ch 11

Disclaimer : see chapter1

**Shattering Glass: The Intoxication of A Kiss.**

"Good morning Mr. Potter," called Professor McGonagall as she made her way down the long corridor heading his way. Her hair tied up in its usual bun as a slight smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Morning Professor," smiled Harry nodding in return as approached her from the opposite direction heading for the Great Hall.

"Dumbledore would like to see you in his office after breakfast, Mr. Potter, the password is Lemon Pixie Stixs," she stated stopping in front of him for a moment and smiling at him approvingly before continuing past not waiting for a response.

Shaking his head as he continued on his way to the great hall, Harry thought to himself, _'What does he want to talk with me about now_' he wondered. Turning the corner quickly, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, his breath catching in his throat at the sight before him. The only thought that seemed to ring through his mind was: _'beautiful._'.

Draco stood looking out of the window at the fields below. The morning sun seemed to dance across his silvery blonde hair making it shine like spun silk as whispers of a gentle breeze flowed through the soft tresses concealing his face.

Sleep had eluded him last night as it had many nights for the past few months._ 'Not that anyone would or had noticed,' _he mused. Looking out at the darkness of the forbidden forest, Draco shivered slightly. He had been so angry and hurt after Harry had left the previous day that the room had barely survived and he'd spent another evening curled up in his bed with a small ache in his chest.

Even before the tower and his night with Harry, Draco had felt this way, like a whirlpool of heat was building within him whenever he let his thoughts wander to one Harry Potter and fantasies of getting lost in those mesmerizing emerald eyes.

Leaning out towards the cool breeze filtering through the open window, Draco tilted his head back a little to let the morning sun cascade over his face. This had to be his favorite time of the day. The cool feel of the air on his skin as he inhaled the morning air. Letting a slight smiled cross his face as he breathed in the low sweet scent of vanilla.

'_Would he miss this?'_ He wondered. He had never given much thought over the last few weeks to his decision. That was until last night. He hadn't wanted to think about all of the things he was going to be leaving behind. Like the feel of the sun and wind on his skin as he soared through the air on his broom playing Quidditch or walking to classes while Blaise and Pansy snickered another remark about the golden trio and even helping Crabbe and Goyle stumble their way through potions.

Sitting up late at night talking with Pansy and Blaise and hearing Pansy's carefree laughter at some scatting remark Blaise makes about some unsuspecting person. Watching as the two of them tried sneaking glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. Draco couldn't help smiling to himself as he thought about this. They were nearly as bad as the Weasel and Granger. His actions were going to hurt them. Draco could only hope that someday his friends might be able to forgive him for leaving them to face their choices alone.

His heart gave a little lurch at the thoughts of his two closest friends. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt them. He was almost glad that he would not have to be around to see their faces when the news of his death was revealed.

Leaning a little further towards the open window Draco let the warmth of the morning sun caress his face. If only things had been different and his friendship with Potter had came earlier. Harry's actions had only confirmed what he had suspected and dreaded all along though. Harry would never trust him and without trust there could never be love, or even for that matter, a real friendship. It had been a hard realization as he had sat upon his bed the previous evening listening to the sound of crashing and breaking glass around him. He'd felt more alone at that moment then he'd ever before.

"Draco?"

Turning away from the window Draco stiffened as he found himself looking into concerned emerald orbs. It took everything in him not to smile at those eyes before him, not to simply walk over and wrap his arms around that slender body and inhale deeply, to savor the rich aroma that truly only belonged to Harry.

No, these were things he most certainly could not do.

"Morning Potter," he replied smoothly taking a step away from the window, his voice void of the emotion which burned inside him, "if you'll excuse me?"

Taking a step in front of the other boy to block his path, Harry shook his head.

"Draco, wait. I think we need to talk," stated Harry quickly.

"Nothing to talk about," replied Draco bitterly calm as he sidestepped the raven haired Gryffindor to continue down the hall. "I think you said everything that needed to be said yesterday."

Frowning as he watched the blonde disappear down the hall, Harry shook his head in frustration and continued to the Great Hall. '_Fine, if Malfoy didn't want to talk to him, then so be it.'_ He thought angrily a few minutes later as he sat down to the table next to Seamus and began piling eggs and bacon onto his plate.

_'Where is the bloody git?_' he thought looking over at the empty seat. _'I thought he was coming straight here?'_

"Seamus, has Malfoy been in for breakfast yet?" asked Harry looking over at his friend.

"No, I haven't seen him," replied Seamus picking up a glass of juice.

Looking over at the empty chair where the object of his current frustration usually sat, Harry slowly sipped on his own glass of pumpkin juice. Who was he kidding? He really wanted… no needed to make this right between them and soon, before it was too late.

Glancing up at the sound of a few more students entering the Great Hall, Harry couldn't help the smile that crossed over his face as Draco finally appeared a moment later and began piling an enormous amount of fruit onto his plate.

"Well, look who _finally_ decided to grace us with his presence!" Seamus chuckled, stuffing a rather large piece of bacon into his mouth.

Looking over from his observation of the pale blonde, Harry frowned at the approaching image of Neville Longbottom as he entered the Great Hall. His eyes narrowed in displeasure even further as he watched the other boy's gaze veer over to where Draco was sitting before continuing on to his table.

He smirked slightly when Neville stumbled slightly as his gaze came back to the table and caught his own. Taking another sip of his pumpkin juice he glanced back over at the Slytherin table before continuing to eat.

Mumbling a good morning to everyone before he started piling food onto his plate, Neville didn't bother to look in Harry's direction. He could feel the glare coming from the other boy the moment he entered the room.

Sighing inwardly, he resolved to ignore the looks being sent his way and the whispers following him around all morning since he began his journey to the Great Hall for breakfast. _'Well,'_ he thought as he began nibbling on a rather crispy piece of bacon, "_at least I'm getting rumored to be with one of the hottest guys at Hogwarts.'_

Daring to look over to where Draco was sitting Neville smiled slightly catching the questioning flash of Draco's eyes. He just hoped that the Slytherin still wanted to be friends after this. He made a quick note to pick up some fresh strawberries on his next trip to Hogsmeade as looked back down at his breakfast smiling.

Draco licked his lips as he felt the sweet juice of the large strawberry trickle down his throat, savoring the flavor as it clung to his tongue. He wouldn't have even come to breakfast if his stomach hadn't made blaring demands on him since he'd woken up this morning. Then to top his morning off right he had to run into Harry first thing. Someone up there hated him.

Turning around to find himself gazing into those green pools was intoxicating. The aching need to throw himself at the ebony haired boy and cover those soft lips with his own while exploring the depths of that delectable mouth was overwhelming in its intensity and was nearly his undoing.

Then their conversation from the previous evening came rushing back to him. The intense feeling damping slightly as the anger and hurt seeped its way into his mind. His only option had been to get out of there as quick as possible.

Looking over at Harry now, Draco clenched his hand under the table.

_'Damn him!'_ Draco thought before looking away. _'Damn him for making me feel this way!'_

The fluttering sounds of wings filled the Great Hall suddenly distracting him from his thoughts. Looking up at the flying creatures he quickly saw both Blaise and Pansy's birds heading for him, both gracefully landing near him and sticking out their legs. Reaching out to untie the letter before giving both birds a treat, he smiled. It would be good to hear from his friends again.

Tucking the letters into the folds of his robe Draco continued eating with his mood a lot brighter than before. Missing the looks being sent his way, he exited the Great Hall a moment later.

It didn't take long for Neville to catch up to the preoccupied boy a few minutes later outside of the transfiguration classroom.

"Draco."

Turning to look over at the other boy Draco stopped. He hadn't talked to the other boy since the _'unfortunate incident', _as he liked to think of it.

"What is it, Longbottom?" asked Draco quickly.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened," stammered Neville taking a step forward bringing himself closer to the blonde. "I was hoping we could meet later."

Frowning, Draco shook his head.

"I don't think..."

"Just for a few minutes," interrupted Neville.

Studying the pleading expression of the other boy's face, Draco screamed at himself inwardly for his lack of conviction before agreeing to meet later. The smile that had flittered across the once shy Griffyndor's face made him wonder for a moment just what he had agreed to.

Rounding the corner Neville came up short before he plowed straight into the chest of one Harry Potter.

"Hello Neville," smiled Harry at the nervous boy.

"Oh...hey, Harry, I …I didn't see you there," stammered Neville nervously.

"So I gathered," remarked Harry quietly. "I was hoping to talk to you last night, but I never got a chance."

Neville shrugged. It had been way after curfew before he'd ventured into the common room of the Gryffindor tower. The other boys were sound asleep for the night, thankfully. There was no one to bother him with questions about Malfoy. He'd gotten up a little earlier before the others and went to the library before heading to breakfast.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" asked Neville, trying to smile.

"I wanted to talk to you about Malfoy, is all," stated Harry calmly. "I don't know how long the two of you have been together. I just wanted to make sure he's been treating you right...so..."

Running his fingers through his hair before sliding his hands into his pockets and bouncing a little Neville smiled. "I know it might be surprising to a lot of you, but Malfoy is really fun to be around. He's helped me out a lot this summer."

Letting his eyes rake over the form of the other young man, Harry nodded his head slightly. The once shy comrade had become more outspoken since the beginning of summer vacation only a short time ago. Harry was glad to see his friend come further out of his shell.

"So I can tell," replied Harry. "I guess I just never pictured you and him…"

"Oh no, it's not like that!" exclaimed Neville shaking his head vehemently.

"Come on Neville you don't have to deny it. We saw you. Remember?"

Opening his mouth to respond Neville was cut off as Harry quickly raised a hand forestalling any response he was about to say.

"I talked with Draco earlier and he also told be that the two of you are just friends. I just want to make sure that you were okay. I know the two of you haven't gotten along that well in the past. Considering everything he's done…you know Neville if you'd like to talk about…"

The flash of anger that crossed Neville's face was so fleeting that Harry wondered for a moment if he had really even seen it.

"I'm sorry Harry, I really need to go," stated Neville through clenched teeth. "As for me and Malfoy, well, I don't see where that is any of your business."

Harry's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched other boy storm off, a remark on his lips was stopped at the sound of two students coming down the hall from behind him. The voices of Seamus Finnigan and a giggling girl could clearly be heard not far away from him.

"Oh hey Harry," smiled Seamus coming to a stop right beside them with his arms sliding from around the waist of a young Ravenclaw girl, who looked rather put out at having been interrupted by having to stop and chat. "You gonna come to class today?"

Smiling, Harry nodded.

"Yeah Seamus I'll be there as soon as I go and see the Headmaster about something."

"Great, don't be late. You know how Professor McGonagall is."

"Aaah, Harry, how are you this fine morning?" beamed Albus Dumbledore as Harry sat down in the chair across from his desk. "Care for a Peach drop?" asked the old man, a definite twinkle in his eyes as he looked across at the raven-haired boy.

"No, thank you," replied Harry shaking his head as he sat down

_'How in the bloody hell can someone be so cheerful first thing in the morning?' _thought Harry.

"Ah well then, more for us eh Fawkes," smiled Dumbledore leaning back in his chair and popping another of the sugary confections into his mouth. "I was wondering how things were going for you so far Harry. I trust you and Mr. Malfoy are getting along?"

Sighing, Harry shrugged his shoulders. He really didn't want to talk about Malfoy right now. Everything seemed so out of order at the moment. Harry figured though that was something that the Headmaster probably didn't need to hear.

"We're not trying to kill each other. Guess that counts for something," he replied dryly after a moment. It was the truth after all.

Smiling as he nodded, Dumbledore seemed to study the young Gryffindor for a while. The old man always seemed to know something. As if a half-hidden truth or lie just beyond that damn little twinkle in his eyes as he watched you, making Harry want to squirm in his seat.

"I'm glad to hear you and Mr. Malfoy are getting along so well. Sadly the house rivalries have kept a lot of students from forming strong relationships with members of other houses," responded Dumbledore.

"You hope that if Draco and I become friends, it will encourage others to do the same thing?" asked Harry leaning forward in his seat a little.

Stroking his beard for a moment Dumbledore got up and made his way over to Fawkes cage. "Harry, do you believe the Malfoy's are all evil?" he asked after a moment.

"No," replied Harry without even thinking about it. "I don't know about Lucius or Narcissa Malfoy, but after spending a lot of time with Draco, I'm beginning to think he's not as big of a git as he let's on," replied Harry.

"Indeed," smiled Dumbledore quietly.

Turning around he smiled at Harry over moon shaped spectacles. "I believe classes will be starting soon. Why don't you run along Harry? I take it you're still enjoying sitting in on some of the classes?"

"Yes, I do," smiled Harry as he stood up from his seat and headed for the door.

Dumbledore watched with a silent reserve as the young man known as the boy who lived walked out of his office before he looked over, smiling at the large bird.

"Something is coming, my friend," stated Dumbledore in a somber tone. "I can feel it."

The only answer was a bellowing squawk from the noble bird in the silence of the room.

The rest of the day seemed like sweet torture to Draco as he made his way through the castle. Harry seemed to show up at every class he was in. He, of course, had wanted to scream in frustration and annoyance. Just when he decided to give up on the friendship with the golden Gryffindor, Harry had taken it upon himself to make sure he did just the opposite. Of course, it could have been just a huge coincidence. After all, _what_ were the chances that Harry was outside of at least two classes specifically waiting for him?

Transfiguration class started off just fine at first or at least until Harry had showed up about a minute before class and sat down next to him.

"Morning Draco," smiled Harry tentatively as he took a seat next to Draco.

Grumbling Draco barely nodded in response to Harry's cheerful greeting.

"Good Morning class," smiled Professor McGonagall as she entered the room a second later. "I'm glad that you all have taken an interest in furthering your knowledge of this class. I will tell you however," she stated firmly looking over her glasses at the group of students "that even though this is a summer course I will be expecting the same quality of work as always. These courses will count as extra credit in your upcoming years and will greatly influence your work later. Since it is the summer, house points will not be given nor taken until the start of the regular school year. I must remind you though that due to this detention will be given in place of deductions."

Looking around at the faces of her students, Minerva McGonagall smiled inwardly before turning to the blackboard.

"Now today we shall be going over transforming liquids."

Draco focused intently on listening to the lecture while he tried to ignore the looks being sent his way from one very annoying raven haired Gryffindor. Granted, Harry wasn't actually bothering him, unless you say that being glanced at every few minutes wasn't bothering. It was damn annoying though. Why couldn't Harry just leave him alone?

"Malfoy, you were wrong," stated Harry, not lifting his head from the pages of his text. "I think we have a lot to talk about."

Looking over at the tilted head of his once enemy Harry waited for a response.

Lowering his head, Draco let his hair fall, concealing his face from Harry's penetrating gaze

"I will not have this discussion with you Potter," hissed Draco through gritted teeth. "Not here."

"Fine, but where and when?" muttered Harry leaning a little closer Draco.

Looking over quickly Draco was startled to find himself merely inches away from Harry's face. He hadn't sensed when the other boy had move so close. The green orbs of Harry's eyes were mesmerizing as they seemed to take hold of Draco's own silver ones. Causing the silent blonde to feel a rather pleasant but unwelcoming stirring in his lower regions.

Draco's heartbeat sounded rather loud and ominous inside his head as he continued to gape at the other boy's face mere inches from his own. The fresh scent coming off of the Gryffindor was intoxicating to the blonde as it drifted over him. Pulling back suddenly Draco looked towards the front of the room as his hands clutched at the corners of his desk. _'Merlin, help me'_ he thought as he felt his pants tighten as the arousal in his pants harden even further. Lowering his gaze down to his book, Draco was desperately thankful that his flowing tresses seemed to hide the growing blush from Harry's view.

He didn't dare chance a glance at the other boy. Not for more times than he could guess did he thank whoever or whatever was responsible for wizarding robes. Forcing his attention to the head of the room, Draco did his best to ignore the quick glances being sent his way. A task which was easier said than done.

Sighing inwardly Harry leaned forward on his desk listening to the sounds of Professor McGonagall's voice as she lectured upon the properties of liquid metals. Truth be told, he hadn't been paying much attention. His mind seemed to refuse to get off the slight blonde sitting next to him.

Dumbledore believed that he and Malfoy could be what… friends? Well, at least not enemies. For awhile it looked as if friendship might actually be working. That was until he'd opened his mouth.

Peering over at Draco through hooded eyelashes, Harry bit his lips. What had he done that had been all that wrong? All he had done was show concern for a long time friend. It wasn't his fault that the ponce couldn't take a little criticism.

**_'Yeah but you hurt his feelings_'** sounded the little voice in his head. _**'Besides what business is it of yours whether or not he's dating Neville?'** _

_'He's my friend and I don't want to see him hurt,_' he hissed inwardly.

'**Who?**' asked the little voice, **'Neville…or Draco?'**

Tearing his vision away from the blonde Harry shifted forward in his seat and frowned at his thoughts. For some reason the thought of Draco and Neville together bothered him. Ever since he's seen them in the hall he couldn't seem to get the image out of his head.

His thoughts were interrupted as clear glasses of liquids appeared before him. Looking around he noticed for the first time that the same glasses were on the other student's desks as well. Groaning inwardly, he sighed. _'Damn what had Professor McGonagal been saying?'_

Well it wasn't like he was getting actual points for this class.

Biting his lower lip Harry looked over at Draco.

Reaching over to get Draco's attention, Harry's fingers had barely touched Draco's shoulder when a resounding thunderous **_crack_ **could be heard throughout the classroom and shards of glass went flying everywhere.

Grabbing hold of Draco, Harry instinctively pulled the frightened Slytherin under the desk away from the falling pieces. _'What the hell just happened'_ he thought tucking Draco's head under his chin and wrapping his arms protectively around the blonde's form as shards of glass fell and embedded themselves into the desktop above them. Cries of pain could be heard all around them.

The trembling blonde pushed closer to Harry as they covered their faces from the falling glass.

"What happened?" bellowed Professor McGonagall a moment later as she got up from covering a shaken girl. "Is anyone hurt?" she asked slightly worried as she dusted off bits of glass from her robes that left tiny scratches on her hands.

A mixture grumbling of no's and a few yes's filled the room as students rose shakily to their feet.

Shaking her head, the transfiguration teacher looked about the class at a few of the injured students. "All right, everyone to the infirmary. It doesn't look like anyone was seriously injured, but we must make sure none the less." She stated quickly ushering the students out of the classroom while pulling a few shards of glass from her hair.

_'What in the world happened?'_ she thought looking back at the shattered pieces of glass everywhere before following the students down the hall to the waiting hands of Madam Pomfrey, not noticing the two forms clutched tightly together under a desk.

Draco felt his body trembling slightly as he drew closer to the warmth of the body holding him. The feel of Harry's hand touching him had sent a wave of shock through out his whole body earlier. It had been such a small touch but the results had been shocking. '_Had he caused this?'_

He could feel it happening, and just like before. He could do nothing to stop it. The resulting screams as the glass cylinders around the room shattered into pieces sent a cold chill down his spine as he felt his body being jerked to the floor and covered. It didn't take a genius to figure out who had grabbed him. His body's reaction betrayed that fact. He only prayed that the raven-haired Gryffindor didn't notice.

Merlin, why did Harry have to sit in on this class? He bloody hell didn't need to. His senses seemed to be filled with Harry's presence. It had taken all his concentration not to grab hold of Harry and explore that sweet beautiful mouth.

"Malfoy?" asked Harry, gently stroking the trembling form of his once enemy. "Come on, I think we should go see Madam Pomfrey."

Pushing away slightly to tilt his head, Draco found himself looking into bright green emerald eyes only a few inches from his own. Draco's breathing seemed to stop as he felt Harry's warm breath caress his cheek, the soft luscious lips barely a few inches from his own.

Draco groaned slightly as he felt his control slip and found himself capturing Harry's stunned lips with his own. The taste was so sweet, like pure honey. Intoxicating like wine and Draco couldn't seem to get enough. His senses were reeling as he pressed up further against the other boy. Harry felt so good and warm and firm against Draco's trembling form.

The crunching sound of broken glass being stepped on sent a cold wave of realization down his spine. The reality of what he was doing hit him full force as he suddenly jumped back from the warmth of Harry's body and fell backwards hissing in pain as his left hand seemed to get sliced upon some of the scattered pieces of glass.

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter?"

Cradling his hand as he jumped to his feet, Draco turned to face an extremely stern looking McGonagall. Refusing to look behind him at Harry, Draco winced as held his hand to his chest.

"Professor."

"When I said everyone to the infirmary Mr. Malfoy that also included you and Mr. Potter," chided Professor McGonagall looking past Draco to where Harry was now standing.

Harry's voice sounded slightly strained as it came from behind Draco.

"Sorry Professor. We got kind of distracted. What happened?"

"I'm not sure," she answered softening her features as she looked at him before letting her gaze fall on Draco. "Are you both alright?"

"Yes," replied Draco before Harry could answer, "only a few scratches on my hand."

Letting her line of view fall towards Draco's cradled hand, she nodded. "Well it doesn't appear that you're hurt too bad. I suggest you go see Madam Pomfrey anyway."

"Thank you," replied Draco, snatching up his bag as he moved swiftly past the older woman and out the door, avoiding the intense gaze being sent his way from behind him as he rushed off out of the classroom.

"Excuse me Professor," muttered Harry rushing past her and out the door after Draco.

"Malfoy wait, I think…." trailed off Harry's voice as he looked down the empty halls meeting nothing but silence.

Biting his lip, Draco watched from the darkened corridor, as Harry looked down the empty hall frowning before finally turning and sprinting down the halls to the infirmary.

Pressing slightly trembling fingers to his lips, Draco smiled faintly at the sweet flavor of Harry still present there. Glancing down the hall where Harry had once stood, Draco turned, making his way towards the dungeons, never noticing as the sliced skin of his hand sealed itself, leaving no mark, as if they were never there.


	12. Obliviation: Friend or Foe

**Title:** If Only To Feel

**Author:** Jadestonedreams

**Rating:** Strong-R-For the overall story

**Disclaimer:** If they aren't in the book or the Movie they're mine.. if not they're J.K. Rowlings…"sighs" Lucky duck!!!

**Pairing:** Harry/Draco

**Summary:** Changes are taking place that will send Draco and Harry's life on a whirlwind path destined together. Harry is a Veela searching for his mate. Will the secrets that Draco hides, keep Harry from claiming his true love?

**A/N:** I don't follow the book in my stories, so if some characters are ooc all I can say is Oh well.

**AN :**I know It's been a long time since I've updated, but I just wanted you to know I haven't abandoned this fic, but RL, does take top priority. I hope you all can understand, I had the next four chapters written when I last posted but only this one was betaed. I've lost contact with my beta so far. I've recently began writing on this fic again and a few more I hope you still like it.

Warning: Slash. Mpreg and sex…You no like.. Go away!! 

**Obliviation: Friend or Foe**

Chapter 12

Slamming the door shut to his room and tossing his books onto the nearby table. Draco stood, gasping for a minute before falling back heavily against the carved wooden door his figure sliding to the floor as his knees seemed to buckle under him.

Closing his eyes as pale fingers ran along the smooth pink flesh of his lips as his mind wandered back to the scene earlier that day. Harry had tasted wonderful upon his lips and Merlin, were there even words to describe how the kiss had felt. It had felt so right, so natural to have his lips pressed against the golden boy's soft lips. The taste though, nothing could adequately describe the taste that still lingered in Draco's mouth. Letting his tongue slip out and ghost over the smooth pink flesh of his lips Draco sighed at the taste of Harry on his lips.

The best way he could describe the feeling of kissing Harry, was, deliciously intoxicating leaving him heady and wanting for more. The closest thing he had to compare it to was when he was younger and his mother would allow him one piece of her special Christmas chocolate. It always arrived every Christmas Eve at midnight. Draco never knew where it came from. He'd asked once, but Narcissa had only smiled a little sadly at him before gently placing one of the finely wrapped pieces into the palm of his hand.

Narcissa never shared her Christmas chocolates with anyone except him. Not even Lucius was allowed to partake in this tradition between mother and son. Biting into the deep dark confection had been indescribable. The bittersweet taste of the chocolate, followed by the surprising richness of the rich strong liquor filled insides. He always felt slightly dazed and euphoric after eating just one. Of course that may have been due to the highly potent liquid center in the chocolate. Draco knew however that it wasn't just that though. It was that warm feeling in his heart that connected him to his mother. It was knowing that this was something special they shared between to two of them and no matter what nothing could take that away.

No other kiss had made him feel this way.

Pushing himself off the floor and trudging over to the bed, Draco fell face forward onto the soft silken comforter and groaned. What the hell had he been thinking kissing Harry like that. He wondered, burying his face into the soft pillow under him. Rolling over Draco stared up at the ceiling and sighed. 'I really messed up this time' he thought. He couldn't keep the images from earlier from filling his mind. Harry had tasted so good and refreshing that Draco felt like he couldn't have gotten enough of the golden boy.

It was becoming harder and harder everyday to deal with Harry. Before the little contact he'd had with the Gryffindor seemed like slow torture. Now though that torture seemed to have increased to an almost aching need. Having Harry so close to him and not being able to tell him what he was feeling in his heart. Not being able to freely touch the dark haired teen was almost painful.

The sound of soft knocking at the door interrupted his thoughts as he continued staring upwards.

Turning over away from the door and closing his eyes, Draco frowned at the persistent knocking increased. The last thing Draco wanted to do right now was so see anyone.

_'Go away.'_ he hissed quietly to himself as he curled up further into the bed.

It seemed like an eternity before the knocking finally ceased and he was able to relax in peace and quiet again. Unfortunately for Draco when he closed his eyes a moment later. The feel of Harry's lips against his own ones seemed to come back with a vengeance causing him to groan as his pants tightened around him uncomfortably.

"Fuck, Harry, why can't I get you out my head?" he groaned closing his eyes briefly.

Swinging his feet off the side of the bed and standing up. Undoing the clasps to his robes and letting it slide to the floor and removing rest of his attire as he strolled across the floor towards the attached bathroom to his room.

He was completely nude by the time he stepped onto the floor of the spacious room. The rather large bathroom was much like what you would have expected of a Malfoy. White marbled countertops with a golden faucet, which poured warm water into a shell, shaped sink. A large bedeviled gold framed mirror hung above the counter. On the opposite wall above the overly large bathtub, hung a large painting of a simple pure white rose. Its petals seemed to flutter as an unseen breeze flowed through them.

Directly below the painting stood a single statue of a young woman. Her hair flowing smoothly from her head as it twined around her naked form crossing over her breast and around her waist, down her thighs to pool at her feet, as she holds a large watering vase over the tub which emptied into the bath when needed.

Draco couldn't help but smile when the marble figurine gave him a quick wink has he glanced over at her.

Looking around at the rather large cream colored tub. Draco shook his head. He wished he had time for a long bath but he didn't. Brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes Draco turned to look at his reflection in the full-length mirror hanging on the wall .

"like anything you see?" smirked his reflection back at him.

Rolling his eyes slightly, Draco smiled "Don't I always."

Looking at his reflection curiously. Draco studied his reflection before him. His normally pale skin now held a healthy, slightly rosy hue to it. His cheeks seemed flushed more so. Reaching back to let his fingers run through the silken strands of hair letting them fall across his shoulders and down his back. Years of Quidditch games and practicing Tai chi and Yoga with pansy and Blaise had left him with a well-defined sculpted body that nearly half the student body would love to get their hands on.

Letting his gaze wonder of his reflected form. Draco couldn't help but smirk as his eyes shifted towards the proudly standing shaft, which was reflected before him.

"_I'm guessing you're here to take care of that little problem_." Chimed his image in the mirror.

"I'd hardly call it small." Snorted Draco turning to pick up a few toiletries off the counter, before heading to the shower.

Draco didn't have to look at the enchanted mirror again to know that his reflection held a huge grin across his face.

Stepping into the shower Draco felt his body relaxing under the warm flow of water as it cascaded down his flushed skin. Groaning as he leaned forward against the wall, one arm raised to support him as he let the heated water soak through his silver strands.

Closing his eyes as he felt his fingers slide around the base of his shaft. Running his fingers along his hardened length Draco groaned as images of Harry tugged at his mind. It was a familiar scene that had played out many times before.

_Bronze skin, smooth and hard under his fingers as they glided along exposed flesh that was slightly flushed from the heated water rolling off it. No words were uttered as smooth lips traveled along a pale neck leaving small bites in its wake. Sliding his fingers through glistening tendrils of dark hair, Draco groaned as Harry stopped to nibble on a sensitive nub._

_"Haarrryyy" he groaned closing his eyes as his body rejoiced in the dark haired boy's touch._

_Biting gently on the pink flesh Harry only smiled at the sounds Draco was emitting. Lavishing the hardened pebble further with his tongue, Harry smiled against Draco's skin in response to whimper Draco admitted._

_"What do you want, my dragon?" he whispered hoarsely as he flicked a tongue across the rosy peak. "Tell me."_

_"Please…need you." Groaned Draco breathlessly as he pressed himself further against the heat of Harry's body. His already hardened shaft pressed firmly in between them both._

_Lowering himself to his knees as he kissed his way down Draco's chest and past the smooth skin of Draco's stomach to nuzzle at the soft span of skin just above the blonde's waist. Harry simply smiled as he firmly held Draco's hips in place preventing the withering blonde from moving as he leaned back to let his gave linger over Draco's proud member before lifting his eyes to look at the Slytherins flushed face._

_"Look at me." Harry commanded leaning forward a bit to run his tongue slowly along the underside of Draco's throbbing member._

_Opening his mouth to respond the words on Draco's tongue turned into an audible gasp as a warm wet mouth closed around his member. _

_"I love you" smiled Harry _

_Looking downward Draco's breath hitched in his throat as silver eyes locked with dark green._

_"Mine" growled Harry possessively, engulfing Draco's member in one swift motion._

_Gasping at the sudden sensation of heat from Harry's mouth surrounding him. Draco barely had time to grab hold of Harry's shoulder to steady himself before his own body seem to explode from the inside and all coherent thought escaped him as he came in waves down Harry's throat._

_"Haaaarrryy!!" shouted Draco loudly as his eyes flung open in the shower, his breathe heavy as he came in his own hands spraying his seed over his hands and across the shower wall. _His only thoughts at the moment as he leaned back to let water wash away of remnants of his actions, were how much he wished Harry were **_really_** with him right now.

Stepping out of the shower as he dried himself off Draco was greeted by a familiar drawl once again.

"_Had fun, I know I did_."

"Do shut up." Sneered Draco throwing his towel at his laughing image of himself in the mirror. Before walking back into his room to change.

"Stupid talking mirrors" muttered Draco making his way over to his closet and opening the door.

"Uhhmm, Malfoy?" squeaked a voice from behind him.

Spinning around Draco found himself staring across the room at a very red faced Neville Longbottom sitting on the edge of his bed flipping through the latest Wizards Weekly.

"What the hell, Longbottom, how did you get in here?" shouted Draco.

Blinking a few times, Neville let his gaze fall over the damp form of Draco for a moment before turning his head a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Fuck" whispered Draco looking down at himself and dashing back into the bathroom for his robe.

"I knocked earlier." Stammered Neville. "But you didn't answer."

"And that gives you the right to simply come into someone's room." Asked Draco glaring at Neville as came back into the room, the robe securely around his body. "How did you get in here anyway?"

As he turned around Neville couldn't help the slight flash of disappointment that flashed over his face at the now modestly covered Blonde.

'Oh well' smiled Neville inwardly. " Your door wasn't locked. I was going to leave you a note. But then I heard you in the shower and well you know…."

The soft pink cheeks that glowed on Neville's face were nothing compared to the paleness that overcame the blonde at the realization that Neville had heard him earlier. Merlin how could he have been so stupid as to forget to set the wards on his chamber doors.

"What do you mean you heard me?" Hissed Draco.

He didn't want to even think of the implications if one of his other housemates entered his room and heard him.

"Well you didn't put up a silencing charm." stated Neville scooting up further into the bed and smiling. "I don't suppose you would though would you. Being in this room all alone."

"You know I think I liked it better when you were afraid of me." Muttered Draco crossing his arms over his chest.

"Really, I didn't." replied Neville.

"What did you hear?" hissed Draco taking a step towards Neville.

Kicking off his shoes, Neville smiled at the scowling blonde.

"Just you screaming out Harry's name rather passionately I might add" teased Neville.

"Longbottom that's utterly ridiculous!" sputtered Draco turning a rather warm shade of pink.

"Ooooh Harry… Merlin, Harry… yes, right there my little sex kitten, give it to me good!" Gasped Neville, closing his eyes in mock orgasmic bliss as he fell back onto the bed.

Opening his eyes Neville nearly fell off the bed laughing at Draco's expression of horror.

"I said no such thing!" exclaimed Draco

Narrowing his eyes Draco scowled at the still laughing Gryffindor.

"This isn't funny, Longbottom." Growled Draco.

Putting a hand to his chest to help catch his breath, Neville slid off the edge and came to stand in front of Draco. Placing both hands on each of Draco's shoulders Neville couldn't help but smile. If anyone had ever told him that he'd be here in Draco Malfoy's room. Touching any part of the Slytherin and not afraid of being cursed into the next Millennia he would have suggested they needed a good visit to St. Mungos.

"I won't tell a soul." Smiled Neville. "So how long have you had feelings for Harry?"

"I don't." replied Draco turning away and heading back towards his closet.

"Yeah right. That's why you were just screaming out his name." Snickered Neville.

Picking out a simple pair of Jeans and blue button down shirt Draco turned to look over at Neville. "Why are you here in the first place?"

The smile that had been playing on Neville's lips vanished completely.

Running his fingers through his hair Neville moved across the room to sit at the nearby desk. "I thought we needed to talk." He replied sitting down.

Frowning Draco headed back towards the bathroom.

"What could we possibly have to talk about?"

"Come on Draco…You know." Stated Neville crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair.

"Look Neville if you're here about what happened, I really don't want to talk about it." Stated Draco as he disappeared into the other room.

"Well I do." Replied Neville. "Look I just wanted to apologize for what I did. I mean I had no right to kiss you. I really don't know what came over me."

Coming back into the room a moment later fully dressed Draco leaned against the doorframe arms crossed and peered across at Neville. "You don't know what came over you? How is that any excuse?"

Smiling Neville simply shrugged.

" I didn't say I was going to give you an excuse. I just wanted to apologize, you've helped me out a lot lately and I didn't want you to think badly of me. I don't even know why I did it. It's just that when I was standing there holding you it was like everything was perfect and right and you smelled so good…" murmured Neville his voice trailing off as his eyes started to glaze a bit. Neville shook his head slightly to clear the fog that had started to overcome him before he smiled at Draco. "Besides, now I can say I made out with a Blonde Angel"

Snorting Draco rolled his eyes.

The sudden tapping on his door stopped any reply Draco had.

Getting up Draco opened the door to a flutter of wings as a large black bird circled the room.

Recognizing his father's owl Draco frowned. It was unusual for his father to write him so soon after sending a letter.

'What does father want now?' he thought as he pulled out a few treats and fed them to the bird before untying the letter.

Picking up the letter Draco paled slightly at the handwriting across the front. The letter wasn't from his father.

"Draco are you okay?"

Draco though didn't seem to hear what Neville was saying as he stared down at the piece of parchment in his hand.

"Why would _he _send me a letter?"

"Draco!" shouted Neville louder starting the other boy.

Quickly stuffing the letter into his pocket, Draco turned to smile at the other boy. "Sorry I got a bit distracted there. Look Neville do you mind if we talked later. I'm beat right now and I think I need to get some rest. Why don't I meet you come by later and we'll study some more."

"Alright, if you're sure" replied Neville sounding slightly disappointed.

"Look Longbottom you're not the first person to kiss me without permission. You just threw me a bit that's all. Parkinson did it for years before she….well let's just say she had a slight death wish before she came to her senses."

"You mean before Blaise." Smiled Neville

"How did you….oh never mind." Smiled Draco shaking his head.

"I'll see you later." Replied Neville turning to leave.

"Of course"

Watching the door as it slid shut behind the smiling Gryffindor, Draco shakily removed the letter from his back pocket. _'It can't be from him_.' He shuddered as memories flooded his mind sending an unwanted wave of coldness over him.

Shaking his head, Draco continued to stare at the offending piece of paper for a moment before opening it. Scanning the letter the young Slytherin paled even further at the words written there.

Draco's insides turned slightly numb as the letter fluttered to the floor. Closing his eyes and taking a few deep breathes Draco felt as the air around him started to swirl and crackle. Images filling his mind of events which should never have happened.

_The room was dark and somewhat creepy in it's décor as Draco looked around. The room was unrecognizable to the Slytherin as he looked around. The walls were covered in a dark forest green shade that matched the few curtains inside. The few pieces of furniture were definitely ornate in nature. A mahogany four poster bed took up a portion of the room, It's large carved wooden headboard that seemed to be made of intertwining snakes which seemed to hiss at Draco as he stood there. The feel of the room left Draco cold._

_"Do you like it?" hissed a voice behind him._

_Stiffening, Draco merely stood there. "It is very nice, my Lord."_

_"It is horrid, my dear boy." Laughed the raspy voice._

_Draco shivered inwardly as the figure came around him to look down at him with lust filled eyes. _

_"Your father has told you of our intended bonding." Stated the dark lord running his fingers down Draco smooth blonde hair. "Tell me, are you pleased?"_

_Only years of Malfoy training had stopped Draco from even uttering how disgusting he found the thought. The mere thought of being bonded to this thing made his stomach turn._

_"I'm still in somewhat of a shock, my lord. I never…I never even dreamed that you would choose me as your mate. I had assumed someone like Aunt Bella would be more to your taste."_

_Sliding a bony finger under the boy's chin to lift it. The dark lord bent slightly to brush his lips across the blondes._

_"While I find your Aunt a satisfactory Death Eater. She doesn't hold certain aspects that I crave." Stated the dark lord running fingers along the sides of Draco's form, letting his fingers slide across his front to settle on the young man's crotch and giving the bulge there a slight squeeze. "You on the other hand, my dear boy, have all the qualities I desire."_

_"Thank you. My Lord" he stammered through the bile taste in his throat as the dark lord continued to caress him. Inside he was screaming in disgust. How could his father have promised him to such a monster? _

_"Soon Draco, when the time is right. You will belong to me forever." Hissed the Dark Lord leaning closer to him. "I wish it could be sooner. But your father has agreed that perhaps we should wait until you are of age."_

_Draco kept silent as he continued to stand there. His demeanor shifted somewhat at the words hissed from the Dark Lord a moment later._

_"Since it is Christmas however… I don't see any reason why I shouldn't have a peak at what I will have the pleasure of someday._

_Before he even had a chance to respond Draco felt his body being unceremoniously pushed towards the bed. Gasping as he was pushed down and a pair of thin lips covered his own. The tongue that entered his mouth to caress the cavern within made his stomach boil._

_'No…this can't be happening.' He thought. _

_"My Lord, I don't think…"gasped Draco tearing his mouth away to catch his breath._

_"There's no need to be frightened, Draco." Rasped Voldemort nibbling at the junction between Draco's neck and shoulder. _

_Closing his eyes in frustration. Draco shivered in disgust at the feel of Voldemort's cold slimy tongue sliding along his skin. _

_Sitting up to run his hands along Draco's chest and stomach down to his hips and thighs. Reaching for the drawstring of Draco's pants, Voldemort merely smiled. "You will enjoy receiving this just as much as I am going to enjoy giving it."_

_Panicking suddenly, Draco tried to push the figure of the dark lord off of him. _

_"Immobilus" growled the Dark Lord waving his wand at Draco._

_Looking down at the now still figure beneath him. Voldemort smiled once again. "Soon Draco you will learn to love my touch, you will crave it even."_

_Roughly pulling down Draco's pants and undergarments, Voldemort looked down at Draco in satisfaction. The boy was more that he could have ever hoped for. "Your just as beautiful as your father." Rasped Voldemort. "Even more so."_

_Draco's pale cheeks reddened in humiliation at being exposed so much as his eyes widened at the mention of his father. "My Father?"_

_"A pale substitute." Hissed Voldemort as he pulled a small vile from his robes and held it up before opening it. The contents a clear Bluish liquid that swirled before them._

_"This" said Voldemort waving the bluish liquid in front of Draco as he reached out to wrap his scaly fingers around Draco's flaccid member and began stroking. "Is to help you in special occurrences."_

_"Don't." pleaded Draco _

_"Relax, you'll enjoy this. I'll save the more pleasurable act for or wedding night, for now though I think a little sample will do." stated Voldemort tilting the vile to let a few drops fall along Draco's member._

_Draco hissed as the ice-cold liquid came in contact with his skin. The cold was soon replaced with a burning heat the penetrated his skin and seeped into his bones as the liquid was absorbed into his skin. His whole body suddenly seemed to be on fire. Gasping at the sudden intensity Draco felt horror flow through his body as his once flaccid member hardened painfully to the unwanted ministrations of the Dark Lord's hands._

_"Now let's see, young Draco if you taste as exquisite as your father." Hissed Voldemort lowering his head in anticipation._

_Inwardly Draco screamed at the burning heat that surrounded him as the Dark Lord's mouth covered his member. The wrongness of the situations coursed through him, sending nauseous waves through his body._

_'Harry help me' whispered Draco silently. _

_"Mine forever, young one...always" Hissed Voldemort as Draco's world went black_

_End Flash._

The sound of shattering glass around him brought him out of the horrid memory he desperately wanted to forget.

Wrapping his arms around his waist Draco shook his head from side to side biting his lower lip. "I don't belong to you" he muttered through the winds swirling around him. "Never to you."

Opening his eyes to the swirling images of lights before him Draco suddenly felt cold. As before objects flew around the room a few crashing and shattering against the dark Hogwarts walls with such force it seemed to leave chucks of stone splattering around it.

The air around the pale blonde had grown thick with uncontrolled magic as it surrounded Draco swirling around him like a great mist caressing his skin sending prickling feeling along his spine.

"Draco?" shouted a voice through the chaos.

Spinning around Draco stared into the frightened and concerned face of Neville. The brown haired Gryffindor seemed to glow from the inside. His hair wind blown around him and his face slightly pale as a nice pale blue light surrounded him. If Draco had not have been so upset he would have said it was a very calming shade. Now though it did little to comfort him. The sounds in the room seemed to stop suddenly as the winds died down and everything crashed to the ground.

The sudden silence that filled the room was frightening.

"Neville I…"

"I came back because I forgot my books." Stammered Neville

Looking around at the now upturned room Neville turned confused eyes towards the still trembling Slytherin. Draco's eyes weren't on him though. Following his gaze Neville's eyes came to rest on a crumpled paper lying scattered on the floor. Looking back up a Draco, Neville shifted and frowned. Letting his gaze fall from the pale blonde before him Neville looked down at the now crumpled letter on the floor before returning to the blonde's.

"Draco your eyes' gasped Neville taking a step back. "They're glowing!"

Shutting his eyes tightly and turning away Draco clutched his hands at his side. 'Just great' he thought. He didn't notice as Neville reached down to pick up the parchment from off the floor.

The sudden gasp from behind him caused Draco to spin around and grown even paler at the sight before him.

Neville's eyes lifted from the parchment to look over at Draco in horror, His hands shaking in rage as he stared at the blonde.

"Malfoy is this from who I think?" gasped Neville clutching the letter in his hands angrily.

Draco stood there staring at the other boy his eyes flickering between him and the parchment. Draco had never seen the quiet little Gryffindor so angry before. For a moment Draco stood there in shock before Neville's words cleared through to his mind. Impossible, there was no way Neville could have figured out who that letter was from. 'bastard' why did that bastard have to write him! The contents of that sick twisted so-called love letter sent a taste of bitter bile down his throat.

"Neville, It's not what you think" laughed Draco bitterly " It's just…

Looking down at the paper once again. Neville's voice broke as he read out loud the contents of the letter interrupting Draco before he could speak.

_My beloved._

_It saddens me that we cannot be together at this time. It seems that I have waited so long for our love to be known that I have become impatient. I grow needy of you in ways that are best left unmentioned. My nights are filled with images of your beautiful face screaming in pleasure under me as I make you mine. Our bonding will be perfect._

Draco shivered at disgusting image this brought to mind. Wrapping his arms tightly around him listening to the voice of Neville as he continued to read.

_Our current guest reminds me of you in so many ways. Unfortunately though he doesn't _

_live up to your standards, but his voice rings beautifully throughout the rooms as I write this to you. The screams of pleasure that he brings from my associates bring me great joy. Can you hear them my beloved? _

_The look on his face as they sheath themselves in his beauty in breathtaking._

_His beauty though compares nothing to yours. _

_My pleasure will only truly come when I am able to take you as my mate. We had such little time together before on your last visit home, I will rectify this soon. Your mine, my love and everyone here knows this even your father is looking particularly proud at this knowledge._

_I find our time apart restless and heart wrenching. Do not fight what is destined my beloved. _

_You are mine. _

The letter was unsigned, but there was no mistaking the mark placed at the bottom. The skull stood hideously out at the end of the parchment as if laughing at the boy holding it in his possession

Looking at the mark, Neville felt a shiver of disgust rush through him. Lifting his gaze from the letter in his hand Neville stared across at Draco

"Why do I have the feeling this letter isn't saying what it says?" asked Neville quietly, his voice tinted with underlined disgust.

"You shouldn't have read that Neville." Choked Draco shaking his head.

"I wish I hadn't" whispered Neville his eyes never leaving Draco's. "But I did. What does this letter mean. Are you…"

"About to be bonded to a mad man?" interrupted Draco in a bitter voice. "Yes Neville that letter is saying exactly what you think."

Shaking his head, Neville frowned. "We need to go see Dumbledore, I know you don't …"

"There's nothing he can do." Replied Draco turning away. "The arrangement are already being made. I'll be bonded on my next birthday."

"What about Harry?" Demanded Neville taking a step closer.

"What about him?" snarled Draco swirling around to look at Neville. "There's nothing that Potter can do to help me."

"But you love him." Growled Neville taking a step closer to the other boy.

Stumbling backward Draco shook his head in denial.

"I never said…."

" I know you do." Interrupted Neville firmly. " I also know he would do everything in his power to help you…if you let him."

"There's nothing that can be done Longbottom. Therefore I will do what I have to." Whispered Draco looking away from the unfazing gaze of the Gryffindor.

"The hell you will!" snarled Neville crushing the paper in his hand and turning to the door.

"Where are you going!" shouted Draco spinning around.

"Where do you think" gasped Neville reaching for the handle of the door.

"No you can't!" shouted Draco grabbing his wand off the nightstand.

The young Gryffindor didn't have time to react as he suddenly found himself slammed against the door. Draco's wand pointed at his face.

"I'm sorry Neville, but I can't let you tell anyone about that letter."

"Malfoy …Draco, I think…."

Shaking his head Draco stepped back.

"You can't help me Neville. I know what I need to do." Whispered Draco lowering his wand slightly.

"What are you going to do?" asked Neville as cold feeling of dread washed over him. He didn't like the look in the Slytherin's eyes. Whatever Draco was planning was not good. Neville knew that somehow, someway he had to stop his friend.

Looking at his friend Draco smiled slightly. "I'm going to see my grandmother."

"What?" asked Neville furrowing his eyebrows together in confusion. "I thought your grandmother was…" Eyes suddenly widening at the realization of Draco's words. Neville shook his head frantically.

"I'm sorry Longbottom." Shaking his head as his eyes flashed a deep blue.

"Draco don't! We can help you." Pleaded Neville reaching out to the other boy.

"No you can't" smiled Draco sadly raising his wand once more. "No one can."

_**OBLIVIATE!**_

"Hey Harry." smiled Seamus flopping down unceremoniously into the warm sofa in the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey Seamus, where have you been?" asked Harry raising his eyebrow slightly.

"Out" shrugged Seamus. "heard about what happened in Transfigurations."

"Yeah, it was weird." muttered Harry looking away at his book. "No one knows what happened"

"Oh" commented Seamus leaning back in the couch. "Have you seen Dean around, I wanted to talk to him about something?"

Shaking his head. Harry turned back to him.

"He left earlier, said he was heading over to the library."

Chewing on his lower lip. Seamus looked over at Harry as if trying to decide on a coarse of action. "uhmm… Harry, I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure, what?" asked Harry.

Rubbing his hand together, Seamus hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I just wanted to ask you about Malfoy… I was wondering if the two of you were…?"

Closing the book in his lap Harry looked bemused. "If we were what?"

"Well Dating or whatever. Cause you know it's cool with me if you are. It's just that…

"Seamus, Draco and I are not dating." Laughed Harry shaking his head. "Besides, I've told you I'm a Veela. After my birthday in a few days, it pretty much won't matter whether or not I we **_were_** dating. I'll know whom I supposed to be with."

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Replied Seamus sheepishly.

"Why'd you ask in the first place?" asked Harry closing the book and setting it aside.

Scooting up further into the couch Seamus shrugged.

"It's just that the two of you have been hanging out together so much lately. And well you seemed to get really ticked off when we saw him and Nev. kissing. I just thought that maybe you guys were…well, I was kind of hoping the two of you weren't actually."

"You were hoping we weren't?" asked Harry his voice slightly strained at the image of Draco and Neville that crossed his mind.

Nodding happily Seamus looked around the room. "The truth is, I was thinking of asking Malfoy if he wanted to go out sometime. I've always been somewhat attracted to him. I just figured I never had a shot is all."

"And now?" asked Harry looking away from the other boy to stare at the fireplace across from them both not really wanting to hear the answer. The sudden anger from earlier once again seeping into him at Seamus's words as the image of Draco and Neville kissing appeared in his mind.

"I don't know." Shrugged Seamus. "I guess I figured if he's willing to hang out with a few of us Gryffindors. He might be willing to go with me on out next trip to Hogsmeade for a little fun.

If Seamus noticed to cold tone of his friend's voice as he answered he didn't comment on it.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Seamus, you really aren't Draco's type." Stated Harry briskly. "Besides I thought you and Dean were in some sort of relationship. Although that Ravenclaw I saw you with earlier was nice."

"Oh sure she's always fun." Chuckled Seamus tilting his head downward a bit "As for me and Dean, we went out a couple of times, but I always got the feeling that he wasn't really into the two of us, you know. We both decided we'd be better off as friends. Besides, I get the feeling that he's crazy about someone else and has been for awhile now."

"Really, You two are always together most of the time so I guess I just assumed…" replied Harry a little curious as to whom Dean was harboring feelings for.

"Like you and Ron are practically inseparable." Smirked Seamus.

"Okay, I get what you mean, But Ron and I never dated." Snorted Harry a little of his angers ebbing away. "Besides I don't think he has eyes for anyone besides Hermione."

"What if it turns out that he's the one for you?"

Seamsus laughed as Harry gave a visible shudder interrupting the brief moment of silence that followed.

"Let's not even go there, right now. I can't even think of Ron that way." Stated Harry shaking his head as if trying to get an unwanted image.

"It's like you said Harry." Replied Seamsus smiling as he stood up. "Draco might be the one for you or it could even be Ron. You won't know though until after your birthday. Until then though, I think I'll take a chance and see what happens. You never know."

"So your still gonna ask Draco out?" frowned Harry as the uneasy feeling seemed to settle more firmly in his stomach.

"Yes"

"Well I just hope you know what you're doing." Replied Harry getting up and heading for the portrait.

"Harry wait." Called Seamus stopping Harry at the portrait.

"What?" asked Harry turning around.

"Are you sure you don't have feelings for Draco?" asked Seamus quietly.

Looking over at the other boy Harry quietly studied the expression on his face before answering.

"Draco and I have just gotten tired of all the fighting is all. But that doesn't mean that we've become anything other than acquaintances."

_'Then what was that kiss about'_ screamed his mind inwardly as the feeling of two soft pink lips ghosted over his.

"Look Harry. I know what you said, but you could be wrong. I mean Malfoy has been pretty much all right these past few weeks. Heck he's pretty much left us alone this entire year." Retorted Seamus. Besides I think you do like him, even if you don't admit it."

With that Seamus gathered up his books and stormed up the stairs to dorm rooms, leaving the stunned Gryffindor behind.

Grabbing up his book Harry left the common room and headed towards the kitchen. He needed a snack and time to think.

Was Seamus right did he really feel something other than friendship for the blonde Slytherin.

Sighing Harry shook his head. When did his life get so complicated?

Wandering the halls, Harry found himself lost in thought.

He'd searched all over for the elusive blonde after he'd left the classroom earlier. Draco hadn't showed up at the infirmary as he said he would. Nor had he been in the last two classes scheduled for the day. It was only after he'd checked the Quidditch pitch that he remembered the map.

Looking at the map later had confirmed that Draco was safely in his room. The first thing he had wanted to do was to go confront the Slytherin and demand some answers. Why had Draco kissed him…was it simply a fluke? Was that all it was, Had Draco simply reacted to their close proximity under the table. Would Draco have wound up snogging Ron if they'd been under the table together? That image had left quite a bitter taste in his mouth as he thought about it.

Instead he found himself in the common room of the Gryffindor tower reading and trying to keep his mind off of silver colored eyes.

Thinking about Draco's eyes only led to more trouble as far as he was concerned. The look in those silver orbs had reminded him so much of another pair not long ago. Beautiful blue ones that had looked upon him so lovingly and filled with desire. It had been weeks since Harry had last thought of the girl he met in the tower.

Weeks filled with thoughts of his once enemy, Draco Malfoy. The deep rich blue of the young woman's eyes were breathtaking and Harry hadn't been able to look away. Her eyes though, were nothing compared to the shiver that went through him everytime his emerald green locked with silver.

Was Seamus right? Do I harbor feeling for Malfoy?

Thinking back over the past few days Harry had to admit that he'd spent the majority of the time with Draco, even when he didn't have to. Waiting around for him after his classes was one example of that.

'I was just doing what Ron and Hermione do for me'

The sudden though of his red head and bushy haired friend made him groan. What the hell was he gonna tell his two closest friends. Ron and Hermione weren't exactly the biggest fans of the Slytherin. Not that he would have disagreed with them before, but now…

Rubbing his eyes Harry looked around at his surroundings and groaned. _Well it's not like I should be surprised _he thought as he realized his was now in the dungeons of Hogwarts. Turning around to make his way out of he was stopped by the sounds of footsteps coming his way from behind him.

_'Great, just what I need'_ he thought looking around quickly for a hiding space and just making it into a secluded darkened corner as a figure quickly walked around the corner humming a tune as he walked nearer to where harry was standing.

'Neville, what is he doing here in the dungeons?' wondered Harry as the preoccupied Gryffindor passed him by a huge smile plastered on his face. Stepping out of the shadows Harry watched as Neville made his way down the hall and disappeared around the corner the melancholy hum of his tune lingering slightly in the air as it faded away behind him.

Looking back down the corridor Harry frowned. There was only one possible reason for Neville to venture down into the Dungeons and that was to see Draco. The thought seemed to leave a bitter taste in his mouth that he couldn't explain. Both Draco and Neville had made it very clear that they weren't together even if _some_ people didn't believe them.

Looking back down to where the Dungeons lay and back over the where Neville disappeared around the corner Harry closed his eyes briefly and sighed. He knew that he owed both of them an apology for his behavior. Even of he truly did not want to give one.

The flurry of wings above his head suddenly startled him out of his thoughts.

"Hedwig?" He looked up inquiringly at the snowy white owl as it flew over his head a few times before landing unceremoniously on his shoulder, nipping at his ear for good measure before sticking out his leg. As if reprimanding him for being down in the dungeons where she couldn't find him.

"Sorry girl, I don't have any treats for you on me." Stated harry soothingly to the bird petting her white head as he untied the letter. "You'll have to pick up a few from the owlry ."

Looking down at the letter in his hands Harry smiled at the scribbling of his Godfather.

"Potter?" snarled a low voice from behind him.

Nearly jumping at the unexpected sound Harry groaned inwardly before turning to look into the crimson black eyes of the Slytherin Head of House, Severus Snape.

The Potion's Master had always sent a little chill up Harry's spine everytime they meet. It had taken quite a bit of time during their occlumency lessons together before Harry was able to relax around the older man and even now, though there relationship bordered on what could be called friendship or at least a grudging respect for the other. He still had a slight apprehensive feeling as he stood before the potion's master.

"Hello Professor." Replied Harry taking in the appearance of the older man for the first time.

"I do hope Mr. Potter that you have a good explanation for being in Slytherin area."

Opening his mouth to reply Harry quickly shut it as he thought it best not to tell that he'd simply gotten lost the castle, which he's just spent the last few years of his life exploring.

"I'm sorry sir, I was hoping to see Draco." Replied Harry hoping that his explanation would be enough. He really didn't feel like dealing with the teacher at the moment.

Raising an eyebrow at the use of Draco's first name Professor Snape studied the facial features of Harry for a moment before nodding. He knew that it would probably do no good to check and see if the young man was lying, He himself had been instrumental in teaching the boy how to avoid someone looking into your mind. A fact that even if he wouldn't admit it, he was very proud of the raven haired boys capabilities in the matter.

"Might I suggest Potter that you find your way back. I'm sure anything you have to say to Mr. Malfoy can wait until tomorrow." Sneered Snape.

"Ahh Severus, Harry, I trust everything is well?"

Turning around both men greeted the headmaster as he made his way towards them

"Everything's fine Albus." Replied Snape looking back over at Harry. " I was just inquiring of Mr. Potter as to why he is in the Dungeons."

"I was hoping I could talk to Draco, sir." Stated Harry.

" I see" smiled The Headmaster the twinkle in his eye shining brightly. "I'm glad that you and Mr. Malfoy are getting along so well Harry. But I must agree with Professor Snape it isn't safe for you to be wondering around the Dungeons on your own."

"Yes sir" replied Harry.

"Now I'm sure you'll be able to talk to Mr. Malfoy at dinner." Stated Dumbledore smiling at Harry.

Nodding Harry walked pass the headmaster and down the hall. Glancing back over his shoulder after a moment to see two pairs of eyes one black as night and the other Blue as sapphires twinkling watching him as he turned the corner.

If anyone had ever bothered to enter into the inner chambers inhabited by Severus Octavius Snape. They would probably wonder if they'd stepped into the wrong area before falling over in shock at the realization of just exactly where they were.

Looking around the rooms Dumbledore smiled inwardly. Not many people got the privilege of being invited into the inner chambers of the Hogwartz's Potion master's chambers. Most only went as far as the outer room which led to the halls of the schools.

The inner chambers belied the home of a man few had taken the time to know. The dark dreary walls found throughout the castle were not here. Instead Cream colored walls surrounded them with softness. One wall though was quite different from the others. Instead of a wall it showed a beautiful tropical beach. Dumbledore stood for a moment watching as the waves seemingly came right up to the edge of a small sandy beach before receding back. The lush greenery was breath taking as was the tropical flowers growing everywhere which seeming swayed in the breeze.

The first time Severus had showed him the wall Albus had nearly walked into it resulting in one of the few embarrassing moments in his life. Both He and Snape had gotten a few laughs over that. The wall had been enchanted Snape had told him to reflect calming scenes for occupants of the room.

"May I offer you something Albus, tea perhaps or something stronger?" asked Severus hanging his cloak on a hook near the door.

"Thank you Severus, I wouldn't mind a cup of tea." Replied Dumbledore turning away from the wall to glance around the room. A rather stone fireplace stood at the far end of the room as large lavender colored flames flickered inside. Sending soft flutters of fragrance throughout the chambers.

Walking over the fireplace Dumbledore smiled as he waved his hands gently through the flames. Not surprised at all as the fire merely tickled his fingers instead of burning them. Letting his gaze drift up to the mantle Dumbledore could not help, but smile at the laughing moving image of a child waving happily to him. The little boy looked to be about six or seven years old. His long black hair handing close to his shoulders, swinging in the air as he waved to Albus and seemingly made faces to someone off camera.

Moving over slightly and picking up another photograph. Dumbledore smiled faintly at the image of the two women before him.

"This is a lovely picture of Lily and Petunia, Severus. Have you ever showed it to Harry?" asked Dumbledore looking up from the framed picture in his hands to smile at the potion's master.

"No." replied Severus shaking his head as he poured two cups of tea. " Somehow I don't desire the explanation that would surely come as to why I am even in possession of it."

"I'm sure he would love to see it though, I doubt he has any picture of both his mother and aunt together." Smiled Dumbledore taking the cup Severus handed him and taking a sip before sitting down. "Hmmm, thank you Severus, wonderful as usual."

Sighing Severus looked over at the smiling image of the two sisters atop the mantle. It had been a rare shot captured between the two Evan sisters. A rare shot because it was one in which both women had been genuinely smiling at each other. Smiling, not with force but with actual affection. It had lasted only a moment, but Snape had been luckily enough to be carrying his father's camera with him at the time.

The picture had been taken in front of the Evan family home the Christmas before they were all scheduled to graduate. He'd missed giving lily her present at the castle and wanted to make sure to give it to her before Christmas morning. It would be the first and last time that he would ever have any spoken contact with Petunia Evans and one of the last times he'd be able to spend with his friend Lily.

Tearing his eyes away from the photo. Snape frowned slightly at the twinkling eyes of Dumbledore as the elder gentleman smiled across from him sipping his tea.

"I'll consider it." Stated Severus reluctantly. "I highly doubt the mutt or Lupin have every told potter that his mother and I were once friends."

"Yes, if I recall correctly it was your friendship with lily that caused a lot of the rifts between James and Lily during there times at Hogwarts."

Grimacing as he set his cup down on the table Severus frowned. "Yes, Potter and his brand of merry do gooders couldn't stand the thought of their precious Lily tainting her self by becoming friends with the slimy Slytherin git as black liked to call me." Sneered Snape.

"Bitterness doesn't become you Severus." Stated Dumbledore softly after a moment. "I didn't mean to bring up bitter memories."

Waving his hands in front of his face Severus shook his head. "Doesn't matter, I suppose my friendship with Lily could be considered bittersweet to some."

" I regret that you and lily could not have recaptured your friendship before she died Severus. I think though that she would be very glad to know that you are taking such good care of her son."

If Dumbledore noticed the slight wince that crossed the Potion master's face he chose to ignore it. "I'm glad to see that Harry has been getting along with young Mr. Malfoy."

"Yes it would seem that Draco and Potter are getting along quite well, much to my utter annoyance." Muttered Snape under his breath. Although he was sure Dumbledore must have heard him Judging from the twinkle that danced in his eye. "Really Headmaster I don't see the merit in this so-called friendship between them. Draco has not turned down the Dark Mark and there are no indications that he has any intentions of ever doing so."

"No there hasn't been" stated Dumbledore setting his cup down and standing up. " I am hoping though that our young Malfoy will take this opportunity to see what else is out there for him. I do not believe that Draco wants to follow in his father's footsteps as closely as some would believe."

Shaking his head, Severus glared over at the headmaster.

"Come now Albus, do you honestly believe that Potter will be able to change in a short while what's been breed into Draco nearly his entire life? Besides I have to question though how this new found friendship is going to be taken by the Weasely's and Ms. Granger if it actually lasts that long."

"I'm sure Harry can handle his friends." Stated Dumbledore smiling as he stood up.

"Like Lily handled hers." Replied Severus letting some of the bitterness show through his voice.

"It was your choice to join the dark lord, Severus. That is something that cannot be changed." Stated Dumbledore looking calmly over the half moon spectacles of his glasses at the young man he considered to be a son.

"A mistake it seems I shall be paying for the rest of my life." Stated Severus softly.

In a small kitchen at number 12 Pivet Drive. Petunia Dursley stirred the last remnants of her chamomile tea and frowned. Another pounding headache had found its way into her head for the day.

"I tell you Petunia, isn't it wonderful, our Dudley. Being able to enter the academy at such a young age." Smiled Vernon. His meaty hand held the steaming teapot handle as he poured himself yet another cup. "I shouldn't be surprised though. Dudley has always showed such great potential. Unlike that freak nephew of yours" he said quickly frowning. "I can't tell you how glad I am that we'll never have to deal with the likes of that one again."

"Hmm, yes" agreed Petunia taking a small sip. "But dear, don't you think Dudley is a bit young to leave home just yet."

"Nonsense" grunted Vernon biting into a large biscuit. Sending crumbs along his chin and upper chest. "You don't want him to become like those lazy freaks in your family do you?"

"Of course not!" stammered Petunia tightening her grip on her cup slightly.

"Good" growled Vernon getting up from the table.

Getting up to place her cup and saucer onto the counter, Petunia turned to Vernon and smiled tentatively. She would wonder later what had made her ask the question of her husband.

"What if he was?"

"What if he was what?"

Shifting on her feet and rubbing her bony hands on the folds in her skirt. Petunia shook her head. " What if Dudley had been like Harry, There was always a possibility that…."

The next few words that would have came forth were lost in a swirl of pain that came over her, as Petunia suddenly found herself crashing into the wooden frame of her kitchen table. Sending her blue and white kitten salt and peppershakers, which had sat, upon the center for over ten years shattering to the floor.

Cupping her reddened cheek with her hand. Petunia looked up at her husband in shock. Although Petunia had witnessed the angry furor in her husband at the expense of her Nephew, Vernon had never once raised and hand to her. The sudden fear that flowed through her as she looked up into the angry purplish face of her husband did little to calm her.

"Do not ever say that again!" shouted Vernon.

"Vernon I…"stammered Petunia stumbling to her feet.

Grabbing hold of her hair and twisting it into a painful grip on the head before yanking her up. Vernon pulled her towards him until they were face to face. His face and almost hideous shade of purple as spittle flew from his face while he spoke. His voice menacingly low as he spoke.

"I don't want to hear such filth come out of your mouth."

Gulping Petunia did her best to nod despite the firm grip Vernon still had upon her hair.

Tossing her suddenly away Vernon looked down at the crumpled form of his wife upon the ground for a moment before an unhealthy gleam formed in his eyes.

Looking up into the leering face of her husband. Petunia wondered for a moment as the blackness over took her at the sudden strike of Vernon's hand. Is this was what her life was always to be like from now on, since Vernon would soon have no outlet for his anger besides her? Something in the back of her mind simply laughed at the thought that it could be anything else. She did after all deserve no less.

TBC…


End file.
